ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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An Ode to the Internet’s Worst Business Advice

In: Starting an Online Business

A person, going into business for themselves for the first time: How can I get found?

The Internet: Start a newsletter!

Person: What, like a weekly bulletin?

The Internet: No, like a newsletter.

Person: So, like, write a bunch of updates about me, me, and me?

The Internet: Yeah! A newsletter!

Person: Every week?

The Internet: Yeah! Content is king!

Person: And then ask customers to actually request to receive something I wrote all about me, me and me?

The Internet: Yeah! Opt-in!

Person: But will anybody care to read something all about me, me and me?

The Internet: Um…yeah, it's a NEWSLETTER, DUH.

Person: But who even reads those?

The Internet: Everybody.

Person: You mean nobody?

The Internet: No, we mean everybody.

Person: Half the time I can't even get my husband to listen to me—why will anybody else?!

The Internet: You have to create epic content!

Person: Epilepsy?

The Internet: EPICCCCCC CONTENNNNNTTTTTTTT!

Person: What does that even mean?

The Internet: You really need to invest in yourself.

Person: How do I do that?

The Internet: Sign up for an online class.

Person: How do I do that?

The Internet: Opt-in for somebody's newsletter.

Person: What if I don't want to opt-in for anybody's newsletter?

The Internet: You probably don't have the entrepreneur mindset.

Person: What's the entrepreneur mindset?

The Internet: Do what everyone else is doing and then call yourself an entrepreneur.

Person: That explains a lot.

The Internet: It's all about the mindset!

Person: I thought it was all about the newsletter?

The Internet: Yeah I'm a little confused myself; I'm waiting to see what everybody else decides and then I'll let you know.

Aug 17

2017

“How Do You Make Money From a Blog / Social Media / Your Grandmother’s YouTube Channel?!”

Aug 17, 2017

People ask me this cute shit ALL DAY LONG. It’s a very confusing topic, I suspect, because many folks assume that you are throwing up advertising banners from 1998, rockin’ those Google AdSense clicks like nobody’s business. To be fair, that is a thing—I’ve strategized with one company in particular doing 3-4 million every month in […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Aug 7

2014

Tweet When You’re Dead

Aug 7, 2014

Death is weird. One minute you’re painstakingly slaving over the perfect Facebook status update, worrying about the new wrinkle in your forehead, and crying hysterically over the fact that you spilled a drop of creamer on the counter and WHY! CAN’T! ANYTHING! BE! EASY!, and the next, well, you don’t even have the privilege of […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Mar 30

2016

Create & Offer What YOU’D Want to Buy.

Mar 30, 2016

  “THAT’S GENIUS!” said a lot of really sweet people really big brown nosers after the launch of Unf*ckwithable Girlfriends last week. Except they weren’t giving me the compliment because of what it contained, but rather, because of what it didn’t. “You mean you aren’t inundating everyone with another Facebook group? No forums? No Google […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Feb 7

2014

Just The Tip: Nobody Wants Your Free Goodies

Feb 7, 2014

Alright, it’s time we had a talk about your goodies. I’ve seen free goodies being offered all over the internet for year after (painful) year, and I really have to wonder: Are they honestly as good as Ciara’s? Kidding. We both know that’s impossible. Have you seen her abs? Regardless, if you’ve ever caught yourself writing, “Sign up […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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May 30

2014

Is Your Package Big Enough?

May 30, 2014

Confess. You’re reading this because the title made you think of male genitalia. (…And now you’re thinking about how weird the word “genitalia” sounds.) I know, I know. I tried to avoid it, but really, I can’t. Because today’s tip is about packaging your service or product offerings, so why be modest? I’m not even […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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May 4

2012

How to Be Taken Seriously in Biz + Life. (Does Not Apply to Douchebags, The President, or Anyone With The Name Barbie.)

May 4, 2012

Ever jump in a pool fully clothed? You gotta try it. Borderline rebellious, without landing you a spot in jail, or any unplanned pregnancies. (Usually.) I’m pretty sure I’ve jumped into more pools clothed than the average human being, which must qualify me for something. Something other than the insane asylum. Or the WWF. My […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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