ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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An Ode to the Internet’s Worst Business Advice

In: Starting an Online Business

A person, going into business for themselves for the first time: How can I get found?

The Internet: Start a newsletter!

Person: What, like a weekly bulletin?

The Internet: No, like a newsletter.

Person: So, like, write a bunch of updates about me, me, and me?

The Internet: Yeah! A newsletter!

Person: Every week?

The Internet: Yeah! Content is king!

Person: And then ask customers to actually request to receive something I wrote all about me, me and me?

The Internet: Yeah! Opt-in!

Person: But will anybody care to read something all about me, me and me?

The Internet: Um…yeah, it's a NEWSLETTER, DUH.

Person: But who even reads those?

The Internet: Everybody.

Person: You mean nobody?

The Internet: No, we mean everybody.

Person: Half the time I can't even get my husband to listen to me—why will anybody else?!

The Internet: You have to create epic content!

Person: Epilepsy?

The Internet: EPICCCCCC CONTENNNNNTTTTTTTT!

Person: What does that even mean?

The Internet: You really need to invest in yourself.

Person: How do I do that?

The Internet: Sign up for an online class.

Person: How do I do that?

The Internet: Opt-in for somebody's newsletter.

Person: What if I don't want to opt-in for anybody's newsletter?

The Internet: You probably don't have the entrepreneur mindset.

Person: What's the entrepreneur mindset?

The Internet: Do what everyone else is doing and then call yourself an entrepreneur.

Person: That explains a lot.

The Internet: It's all about the mindset!

Person: I thought it was all about the newsletter?

The Internet: Yeah I'm a little confused myself; I'm waiting to see what everybody else decides and then I'll let you know.

Aug 7

2014

Tweet When You’re Dead

Aug 7, 2014

Death is weird. One minute you’re painstakingly slaving over the perfect Facebook status update, worrying about the new wrinkle in your forehead, and crying hysterically over the fact that you spilled a drop of creamer on the counter and WHY! CAN’T! ANYTHING! BE! EASY!, and the next, well, you don’t even have the privilege of […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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May 4

2012

How to Be Taken Seriously in Biz + Life. (Does Not Apply to Douchebags, The President, or Anyone With The Name Barbie.)

May 4, 2012

Ever jump in a pool fully clothed? You gotta try it. Borderline rebellious, without landing you a spot in jail, or any unplanned pregnancies. (Usually.) I’m pretty sure I’ve jumped into more pools clothed than the average human being, which must qualify me for something. Something other than the insane asylum. Or the WWF. My […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Aug 17

2017

“How Do You Make Money From a Blog / Social Media / Your Grandmother’s YouTube Channel?!”

Aug 17, 2017

People ask me this cute shit ALL DAY LONG. It’s a very confusing topic, I suspect, because many folks assume that you are throwing up advertising banners from 1998, rockin’ those Google AdSense clicks like nobody’s business. To be fair, that is a thing—I’ve strategized with one company in particular doing 3-4 million every month in […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Jan 1

2014

THE BUSINESS BLACKLIST: If You’re Doing Any of These 6 Things, STOP IMMEDIATELY.

Jan 1, 2014

1. The first thing on the No B.S. Business Blacklist? Putting up an auto-responder that tells all of your customers that “in the name of productivity” you’re only checking your email at 7am, 12pm and 4pm.  Can everybody that’s doing this go fuck themselves, please? I don’t care about your personal time tables, and you’re wasting […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Jun 20

2013

23 (Surprising) Reasons To Work for Yourself

Jun 20, 2013

You discover things you never knew about yourself. For example, you know how sometimes people play that annoying game and ask you what you’d do if you only had 24 hours to live? And so you sit there and scratch your ass, and then say something poetic like, “I’d go to the beach and let […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Nov 30

2012

The $2,000 Offer to LEAVE a Company

Nov 30, 2012

When I was hired as Director of PR for AWeber, the VP of Operations called me into his office two weeks after I had started, and offered me $2,000 to leave the company. “You’ve been here two weeks now,” he started, “and you probably have a good idea if this is a place you’re going […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Mar 30

2012

How to Be Able to Travel Whenever You Want

Mar 30, 2012

Can we please talk about the fact that tonight, I’m getting a ride to the airport from a random, way-skinnier-than-me (and probably you) Vietnamese woman named Kim, who works at the random nail salon where I got a pedicure yesterday? Yeah. That’s fucking weird, and it’s totally happening. And I’m totally excited about it, mostly […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Apr 5

2013

Reason #959 to Start a Business

Apr 5, 2013

Employment freaks me out. It’s hard to imagine putting all of your intellectual, emotional, and physical energy into a company – with nothing to show for it at the end of the day. Or, the end of your life. Maybe a savings, if you were disciplined enough, or a 401K, but aside from that, you’re […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Jul 10

2014

What To Do When You Hire Them And…They Suck.

Jul 10, 2014

So you started a business and before you knew it you were regularly lip syncing to Gaga while kicking ass, taking orders, AND taking names—which, for the record, I hear is a mafia term. Isn’t that delightful? Suddenly, you found yourself with an extra $5 and immediately shouted to no one in particular, “I’m going to reinvest […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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