The Blog
Dec 20
2019
Dec 20, 2019
So it’s the Friday before Christmas and you’ve PROBABLY JUST REALIZED THAT YOU ARE OUT OF TIME. I know, happens so quickly, doesn’t it? I’ve got a whole list of people that I intended to send presents to, but didn’t. Because I am an excellent planner. But at least my shriveled little heart was in […]
Oct 30
2019
Oct 30, 2019
Recently, my friend S called and said: “Shit, balls, fuck, I’m running out of cash flow—my clients owe me money but they haven’t paid yet and I don’t know what to…say?” Okay, so maybe I added the “shit, balls, fuck” bit, but you know it’s exactly what’s going through your mind unless you’re a Mormon. […]
Oct 28
2019
Oct 28, 2019
It’s Halloween: and that doesn’t only mean gluing a bunch of paint samples to your shirt and showing up to parties as “50 Shades of Gray” (ACE), it also means it’s a killer opportunity to run a fun promo and become even more memorable in the minds of your clients. Every holiday is a chance […]
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[{"code":"Omg
[{"code":"Omg
quit tomorrow before your brain shrivels into a sausage"
quit tomorrow before your brain shrivels into a sausage"
"label":"Fortune #1"
"label":"Fortune #1"
{"code":"Don't be ridiculous
{"code":"Don't be ridiculous
you SO already know the answer "
you SO already know the answer "
"label":"Fortune #2"
"label":"Fortune #2"
{"code":"If you have to ask
{"code":"If you have to ask
the answer is yes. Now buy my f*cking book."
the answer is yes. Now buy my f*cking book."
"label":"Fortune #3"
"label":"Fortune #3"
you're not that horrible of a person that no one else will hire you if things go wrong"
you're not that horrible of a person that no one else will hire you if things go wrong"
"label":"Fortune #4"
"label":"Fortune #4"
{"code":"You're a smart f*cking human and you're wasting your potential working for some fleabag named Dirk. BYE."
{"code":"You're a smart f*cking human and you're wasting your potential working for some fleabag named Dirk. BYE."
"label":"Fortune #5"
"label":"Fortune #5"
{"code":"Leave your stupid husband and *then* quit your job"
{"code":"Leave your stupid husband and *then* quit your job"
"label":"Fortune #6"
"label":"Fortune #6"
{"code":"Depends on how much you like working under a guy who can't spell urethra. The Middle Finger Project book can help you figure it out though! "
{"code":"Depends on how much you like working under a guy who can't spell urethra. The Middle Finger Project book can help you figure it out though! "
"label":"Fortune #7"
"label":"Fortune #7"
go! It's painful watching you completely underestimate the fuck out of yourself"
go! It's painful watching you completely underestimate the fuck out of yourself"
"label":"Fortune #8"
"label":"Fortune #8"
{"code":"Yes and tell your family who doesn't understand jack sh*t to go barbeque some weiners and come talk to you once you're a bazillionaire"
{"code":"Yes and tell your family who doesn't understand jack sh*t to go barbeque some weiners and come talk to you once you're a bazillionaire"
"label":"Fortune #9"
"label":"Fortune #9"
being responsible is overrated when it costs you the rest of your life"
being responsible is overrated when it costs you the rest of your life"
"label":"Fortune #10"
"label":"Fortune #10"
YES. thank you
YES. thank you
"label":"Fortune #11"
"label":"Fortune #11"
{"code":"If you don't quit
{"code":"If you don't quit
I'm going to call your boss FOR you and then how embarrassing will that be?"
I'm going to call your boss FOR you and then how embarrassing will that be?"
"label":"Fortune #12"
"label":"Fortune #12"
)