Communication Skills Archives » The Middle Finger Project

16 Words That’ll Help You Defeat Refund Bullies Over the Phone 💪 📞

I hate phone calls. In fact, there are fewer things I hate than when my phone rings. The first thought: WHO DARES…HAVE THE NERVE…TO CALL…UNINVITED?!? It’s basically the modern equivalent of dropping in on someone unannounced—especially if it’s a video call. Quick, hide the mannequin! Hide the hamburgers! Hide MY ENTIRE FACE! (Oh, you don’t have mannequins and hamburgers lying around? I’M SORRY.) I know I’m not alone—at least with the phone call bit. 😉 This is hilariously one of

Apr 16, 2021

Unintimidated HQ™️—My New Communication Company Inspired by Kamala Harris 💪

Kamala. Motherf*cking. Harris. IT HAPPENED! IT’S HAPPENING! WE’RE MAKING HISTORY RIGHT…NOW! I cannot tear myself away from the inauguration. (I legit got emotional the moment I turned it on this morning.) I’ve been thinking about this moment ever since Harris spoke the iconic two words she will forever be remembered by—”I’m speaking.” As soon as she said it, I knew. I knew what I had to create. I’d been thinking about it for a long time, but as soon as

Jan 20, 2021

Should You Talk Politics in Business? Or Stay Neutral and Keep Your Mouth Shut?

THIS WEEK, am I right? I literally didn’t sleep on Tuesday. Then I finally get to sleep, and wake up to this morning. How can you be talking about anything else right now? *cue the person who’s definitely sending out emails right now about making the perfect pumpkin spiced latte* Is that jarring to you? It’s a bit jarring to me—like someone running in the room and shouting, “There’s an active shooter outside and he’s coming for us all!” and

Oct 2, 2020

Talking Trash: How It Helped Elect the World’s Most Dangerous President

“There’s your dad.” It was ~the line~ growing up. We’d race to see who could whisper it first: an elderly man jogging by with a wedgie; a New Yorker passing through with a gold medallion necklace; a guy down at the gas station missing too many front teeth; the bank teller who was just a little too stern. My go-to response was always: “Probably—want me to ask him out for ya?” This kind of banter was par for the course;

Sep 29, 2020

Can Americans Ever Like Each Other Again?

72.14% That’s a good chunk, right? Say, if I were to eat 72.14% of a Domino’s pizza, we’d all be like, “WHOA, ASH IS MURDERING THAT THING.” Similarly, if you were to drink 72.14% of the wine, I might murder you. This is an equal opportunity kitchen, thank you very much. Because 72.14% is pretty basically three-fourths of a whole, which is otherwise known as “most of it!” And in the year 2016, most of the people! in the rural

Sep 22, 2020

A Note on Writing, Politics & What the Hell We’re Doing Now

Hey. I really wanted to send you a personal note (wait, who am I kidding, they’re all my personal notes) to say thank you. Thanks for reading. Thanks for being here. Thanks for sticking with me through a launch like we just completed. (I know sometimes my emails are…a lot. You should see how excitable I am in person.) I’m going to work even harder moving forward to get you what you need—whether it’s finding your voice, inspiration & ideas

Sep 18, 2020

Taking Time Off for the Holidays but HAVEN’T TOLD YOUR CLIENTS? Here’s a Proven Script You Can Use (That Won’t Put Anyone’s Undies in a Bunch)

Last week I gave you a savage script for what to say when you want to raise your rates come the New Year—without seeming like a total grabby, greedy, ungrateful weirdo. But guess what? This fun train’s just begun, because this week, YOU GET ANUTHAAA ONEEEE. It’s the middle of December, my friend, and that means that if you have not yet told your clients that—HI, YOU ARE TAKING OFF FOR THE HOLIDAYS (assuming you are not a celibate cyborg)—you’re

Dec 11, 2018

Boo-Yah, Time to Raise Your Rates! Here’s a Proven Script You Can Use (That Won’t Even Make It a Little Bit Awkward)

Haiiiiiiiiii! It’s December, and you know what that means! TIME TO RAISE YOUR RATES. You need to send the following email to your clients RIGHT NOW. (Like, right now. Especially because today is Friday, and this email is always served best on a Friday with a beer.) Now then. *clears throat* This miraculous email that you’re going to write, that you’re almost kind of shitting a brick to write, but that you’re going to write anyway because you are a

Dec 7, 2018

How to Introduce Yourself at a Dinner Party Like a Cool-As-A-Cucumber BALLER

“So, what do you do?” These are the words WE ALL DREAD, FAM. Even professional communicators—cough cough—who work online and write inappropriate blog posts and whose job titles can’t easily be corralled onto some adorable fucktard pin. This past week, however, I had the opportunity to reflect on the personal intro more than ever when I found myself at not one, but TWO separate dinner parties with two sets of humans who were decidedly not indoctrinated in the online world.

Sep 26, 2018

How to Write the Perfect Cold-Call Email—Without Making Yourself Sound Like a Grabby Psycho

Psycho is a good word, isn’t it? Ditto psychobitch, which I really gotta use more. (WE ALL KNOW SOMEBODY…) But when cold-emailing a potential client whose money you would love to have—ahem—we don’t want you to be that person. Not only will you be deleted faster than Barr. David Newton Esq. of Nigeria, you’ll be wasting all of your precious time palm-sweating your way through an email not even you would read. Which brings me to an important point: isn’t

Aug 31, 2018

Category: Communication Skills