The Blog

Sep 22

2020

Can Americans Ever Like Each Other Again?

Sep 22, 2020

72.14% That’s a good chunk, right? Say, if I were to eat 72.14% of a Domino’s pizza, we’d all be like, “WHOA, ASH IS MURDERING THAT THING.” Similarly, if you were to drink 72.14% of the wine, I might murder you. This is an equal opportunity kitchen, thank you very much. Because 72.14% is pretty […]

In: Communication Skills, Politics

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Dec 11

2018

Taking Time Off for the Holidays but HAVEN’T TOLD YOUR CLIENTS? Here’s a Proven Script You Can Use (That Won’t Put Anyone’s Undies in a Bunch)

Dec 11, 2018

Last week I gave you a savage script for what to say when you want to raise your rates come the New Year—without seeming like a total grabby, greedy, ungrateful weirdo. But guess what? This fun train’s just begun, because this week, YOU GET ANUTHAAA ONEEEE. It’s the middle of December, my friend, and that […]

In: Communication Skills

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Dec 7

2018

Boo-Yah, Time to Raise Your Rates! Here’s a Proven Script You Can Use (That Won’t Even Make It a Little Bit Awkward)

Dec 7, 2018

Haiiiiiiiiii! It’s December, and you know what that means! TIME TO RAISE YOUR RATES. You need to send the following email to your clients RIGHT NOW. (Like, right now. Especially because today is Friday, and this email is always served best on a Friday with a beer.) Now then. *clears throat* This miraculous email that […]

In: Communication Skills

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Sep 26

2018

How to Introduce Yourself at a Dinner Party Like a Cool-As-A-Cucumber BALLER

Sep 26, 2018

“So, what do you do?” These are the words WE ALL DREAD, FAM. Even professional communicators—cough cough—who work online and write inappropriate blog posts and whose job titles can’t easily be corralled onto some adorable fucktard pin. This past week, however, I had the opportunity to reflect on the personal intro more than ever when I found myself at not […]

In: Communication Skills

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Sep 28

2017

How to (Naturally!) Transition Into a Good-Natured Sales Pitch Over The Phone—Without Seeming Like a Total Greedy, Awkward, Weirdo Troll

Sep 28, 2017

It’s the moment you’ve been dreading. You’re there, on the phone. It’s almost time to wrap up. There’s THE awkward silence. You know you’re suppose to try and sell them some kind of 3-month package—or some other salesy bullshit—but how do you transition the godforsaken conversation?! This is so not natural for you. The whole thing […]

In: Communication Skills

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Aug 23

2017

The One Line Script That Will Help You Raise Your Rates Without Sweating, Swearing or Sounding Like a Greedy, No-Good, Finger-Licking Arse

Aug 23, 2017

When I worked in magazine advertising sales, every year we were sent a copy of the new rate cards from corporate. And every year, we account executives would then proceed to send an email to our clients that would say: “Hey, Janey-babe! Here’s this year’s new rate card for your records.” It wasn’t personal. Nor […]

In: Communication Skills

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