ASH AMBIRGE

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Funerals Happen Every Day When You’re Expanding

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

I watched the movie AWOL last night, and the truth is, it was just an average movie.

But I was fascinated by it.

I was fascinated by it because the movie is set in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, where I grew up, and everything from the trailer to working at the ice cream stand was the spitting image of a life I once knew so intimately. It was like stepping back in time—the junk yard pick up truck; the boozy men; the sense that the world has left you behind. You know that life, but you can’t imagine it anymore.

I wonder if I knew then, what I know now. That every aspect of life is just a substitute for what’s to come next. That who you are is a mere temporary tattoo, because who you are becoming is constantly erasing and re-writing what’s done. Nothing is ever “done,” in fact. Done is an illusion.

It is at once both thrilling and wretched, this process of evolution. You must lose yourself to find yourself, over and over again. Forward motion is inevitable—that much is certain. Whether or not it’s progress, that’s a different question.

Change is not always growth, but growth will always require change.

Funerals happen every day when you’re expanding.

May 4

2010

Shattering the Current Model of Reality

May 4, 2010

Most of you reading this website are here because you want more. Tried and true may be comfortable, but boring.  The traditional life path may be safe, but uninspiring.  The status quo is average, but nothing extraordinary. You know there’s something missing, but you can’t pinpoint what, exactly, it is. We’ve essentially been told for […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Aug 31

2010

Slugs, Angel Hair Pasta & Vespas, Or, The One Thing That DOES Define You In This Life

Aug 31, 2010

So, I’m sitting in the bar at this restaurant. I’m lovingly twirling my fork into a steamy, lemony, buttery, most delightfully angelic heap of angel hair–the creamy, makes-you-throw-your-head-back-with-glee kind of pasta that, I was thinking, should probably be forbidden for nuns, because, I swear, this pasta is far more decadent than the best sex you […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Oct 15

2010

A Conversation With An Immigrant on U.S. Life

Oct 15, 2010

I had an insightful conversation with a Mexican immigrant the other day. We also might have had a round of margaritas, which could have enhanced the perceived value of the conversation, but nevertheless, I wanted to share it with you. It went something like this: ME: So, I imagine you came here with some expectations […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Nov 28

2012

Marilyn Monroe Wouldn’t Give a Damn.

Nov 28, 2012

Remember earlier this year… …when I sauntered over to Ecuador and had a twelve year old pierce my nose, as well as agreed to having a random Ecuadorian man sit on top of me on the beach to doodle all over my back with a mysterious black, sticky ink? Maybe we didn’t know each other […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Sep 5

2012

Are You Going To Be Someone Who Does? Or Doesn’t? (Warning: Contains Least Amount of Swear Words Ever Written On TMF)

Sep 5, 2012

It’s 5am. I’m checking out of my hotel in Buenos Aires, and I’m hoping the $80 eye cream I bought is ACTUALLY HELPING ME NOT LOOK LIKE I JUST CRAWLED OUT FROM UNDER A MOSSY, EARTH-STENCHING, FUNGI-COVERED ROCK. Mostly because I knew AndrĂ©s would be checking me out–hopefully in more ways than one. AndrĂ©s isn’t actually his name, as […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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