ASH AMBIRGE

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Marilyn Monroe Wouldn’t Give a Damn.

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

Remember earlier this year…

…when I sauntered over to Ecuador and had a twelve year old pierce my nose, as well as agreed to having a random Ecuadorian man sit on top of me on the beach to doodle all over my back with a mysterious black, sticky ink?

Maybe we didn't know each other then, which is a huge shame because I was clearly a lot more fun.

Exhibit A:

Photo credit: www.KyleHepp.com – international wedding photo extraordinaire, and one of my BFFs who foolishly agreed to go with me to Ecuador.

Exhibit B:

Photo credit: www.KyleHepp.com – international wedding photo extraordinaire, and one of my BFFs who foolishly agreed to go with me to Ecuador.

Exhibit C:

Photo credit: www.KyleHepp.com – international wedding photo extraordinaire, and one of my BFFs who foolishly agreed to go with me to Ecuador.

And then, of course, since it's always good practice to post up some iPhone photos right next to a series of professional photos, there were these:

I tried to tell him to put the apostrophe.

Really, I did. But apparently I don't know the word “apostrophe” in Spanish, so things got a little awkward between me and Juan the freelance ink slinger.

So why am I bringing this up now, other than to torture you with a variety of egomaniacal photographs?

For one really simple reason.

Because that crooked, missing-an-apostrophe, inky fake tattoo that says “Marilyn Monroe Wouldn't Give a Shit”–

You will be seeing those words again.

Except I'll keep it classy, and substitute “damn” for “shit,” of course.

Because that's just how girls from Scranton roll.

When they aren't rolling down to Ecuador, that is.

Because there? Anything goes.

Particularly your good senses, and the fleeting memory that you are, in fact, nearly 30 something years old, and when you're nearly 30 something years old, it's probably not a good idea to let a pre-pubescent child who doesn't speak the same language as you violently impale you with a sharp piece of metal of questionable cleanliness.

Apparently, us classy girls from Scranton missed that day.

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