ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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Marilyn Monroe Wouldn’t Give a Damn.

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

Remember earlier this year…

…when I sauntered over to Ecuador and had a twelve year old pierce my nose, as well as agreed to having a random Ecuadorian man sit on top of me on the beach to doodle all over my back with a mysterious black, sticky ink?

Maybe we didn't know each other then, which is a huge shame because I was clearly a lot more fun.

Exhibit A:

Photo credit: www.KyleHepp.com – international wedding photo extraordinaire, and one of my BFFs who foolishly agreed to go with me to Ecuador.

Exhibit B:

Photo credit: www.KyleHepp.com – international wedding photo extraordinaire, and one of my BFFs who foolishly agreed to go with me to Ecuador.

Exhibit C:

Photo credit: www.KyleHepp.com – international wedding photo extraordinaire, and one of my BFFs who foolishly agreed to go with me to Ecuador.

And then, of course, since it's always good practice to post up some iPhone photos right next to a series of professional photos, there were these:

I tried to tell him to put the apostrophe.

Really, I did. But apparently I don't know the word “apostrophe” in Spanish, so things got a little awkward between me and Juan the freelance ink slinger.

So why am I bringing this up now, other than to torture you with a variety of egomaniacal photographs?

For one really simple reason.

Because that crooked, missing-an-apostrophe, inky fake tattoo that says “Marilyn Monroe Wouldn't Give a Shit”–

You will be seeing those words again.

Except I'll keep it classy, and substitute “damn” for “shit,” of course.

Because that's just how girls from Scranton roll.

When they aren't rolling down to Ecuador, that is.

Because there? Anything goes.

Particularly your good senses, and the fleeting memory that you are, in fact, nearly 30 something years old, and when you're nearly 30 something years old, it's probably not a good idea to let a pre-pubescent child who doesn't speak the same language as you violently impale you with a sharp piece of metal of questionable cleanliness.

Apparently, us classy girls from Scranton missed that day.

Jul 8

2010

When Being in Control is a Disservice

Jul 8, 2010

I’ve got little patience for excuses. I proactively call myself out whenever I catch myself making excuses in order to either procrastinate or invent reasons why I shouldn’t put myself out there. Why? Because sometimes, putting yourself out there is nail-bitingly, blood-curdingly, will-drive-you-to-drink, flat-out terrifying at times. It’s far easier to continue doing what we’ve […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Nov 22

2012

Lust, Turkey Gizzards + A Ladylike Toast

Nov 22, 2012

I blame my bleak and very unpromising cooking skills on Thanksgiving, you know. You’d think I would have gotten better from helping my mom prepare such a yearly feast for me, her and my dad. (Mashed potatoes were my sworn duty. Probably because they’re mashed, requiring heavy amounts of manual mashing child labor. Not to […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Jun 9

2017

The World Isn’t Your Mommy

Jun 9, 2017

You know what’s crazy? There’s not actually a team of people assigned to your life, sitting around monitoring your blood work, and your bank accounts, and the health of your relationships, jotting down notes, circling areas of concern. There’s no supervisor. No one checking your progress. No one setting quarterly reviews. As a result, we […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Jul 30

2010

On NOT “Following Your Dreams”

Jul 30, 2010

You know, this whole “follow your dreams” thing is getting a little old, right? Coming from me, that’s probably surprising. But the problem is that so much of it is fluff. So much out there encourages you to start “living the life of your dreams,” while frolicking on a big white puffy cloud and nibbling […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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May 29

2012

On My Red Hot, Sinfully Sexy Affair.

May 29, 2012

  I’m currently gnawing on a big, squishy, ripe red tomato. Right now. As I type this. I’m forking salty chunks into my mouth as I hope (but not pray–I’m pretty bad at that) that tomato seed juice doesn’t dribble all over my keyboard. Before my current lusty, red hot tomato affair, I was getting […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Dec 20

2012

Always Do. You’ll Be Glad You Did.

Dec 20, 2012

If you walked in the door right now, I don’t know if I’d run and hug you hard, or if you’d seem like a stranger now. I’d like to think that I’d hug you. I’d like to think that I’d bury my face into your chest and you’d smell like your old cologne–which kind, I […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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