ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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How to Be a Bitch About Money: The 8 Money Policies Every Freelancer NEEDS to Avoid Getting Burned Like a Ham Sandwich—Including the Rock-Solid Refund Policy That Slays

In: Money Talk

Eight-thousand dollars.

Eight-thousand dollars!

EIGHT-THOUSAND DUH-OLLLL-ERS.

That's the (actual) amount of cold, hard cash one designer recently had charged backed by a client—and her credit card company sided with the client.

Mother of ouch.

More than that, though, this kind of crisis can be absolutely devastating to a freelance business that's operating paycheck to paycheck, trying to make ends meet. Eight-thousand dollars is pretty much having to give someone YOUR CAR. Like, welp, here you go, HERE'S MY HONDA ACCORD—and why not kick me in the jugs a few times, too, and shit on my kitty?

You might think that's an extreme example (the eight-thousand dollars thing, not the whole shitting atop a feline thing—though both are other level?), and that something like that will likely not happen to you, but I'm sad to report that the odds are not in your favor: at some point, you're gonna get burrrnnnned. And it's going to suuuuckkkkk. And you will be so, so sad. It will ruin all the days. You won't even want an ice cream cone. And it might even make you want to close up shop and go back to doing something involving fewer…fuckstick human beings.

But I have good news (she sings off-key): first, fucksticks are everywhere, so nice try. Two, most of your clients will not be fucksticks. And third, you can avoid at least 98.88% of this kind of fast-and-loose heartache and hassle by simply implementing eight of my favorite easy-breezy but badass money policies that will help you (a) Create appropriate boundaries; (b) Set client expectations; (c) Stay in control of your business; (d) Run your business well; (e) Protect the money you've worked hard to earn  (f) Let people know that you are the kind of person who HANDLES IT.

And guess what fam? I'm not just going to tell you what they are: you and I are going to sit down and outline your new money policies together! I'm going to be running a super duper exciting all-new, 100% free class this coming Thursday, June 6th at 11am Eastern, where we'll go through my top eight money policies every freelancers should 10,000% have (like, so help you vodka) and I'll explain in detail why each is important and how they work—and you can decide right then and there what your all-new money policies are. 💪🏻

This is for you if you've ever:

  • Gotten the dreaded “refund request” from a client after you've done the work—à la above—and didn't know how to proceed with integrity, honor your time or save your cash flow.
  • Had a client want to cancel mid-way through your work together because you're not vibing—or something worse. Um, now what?!
  • Had clients keep making additional requests—without realizing how much extra work this is. Or paying you for it.
  • Had clients go MIA, become non-responsive, or hold up the project (which backs up your work load AND holds up your next payment)
  • Had clients happily nodding along the entire time, but at the end say they're unsatisfied.
  • Didn't have any of this happen yet, but want to rapidly speed up your learning curve and make sure it doesn't!
  • P.S. We'll also talk about more stuff, too—like, protecting yourself from late and non-payment. No matter what kind of freelance work you do, YOU NEED SOME SOLID MONEY POLICIES, LADIES!

This free class is basically going to be a PARTY. You'll walk away feeling sooooooo smart, so ready, so on top of things, and so damn professional, you won't be able to wait until your next client inquires. Because you? You've got this. And I've got your back all the way.

So if you're like: CHRIST ON A STICK, I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY POLICIES, ASH! / I don't know what my policies should say / I don't know what is the norm / I feel uncomfortable with all of this / I don't even have a work agreement (cue panic)—then, hooray, because—bongo drum roll—I will see your ass in class, my friend. Register here—it's free! Hint: there will also be a very special, very useful, very top-secret surprise at the end. Because yasssssss to making more money! And to not apologizing for ANY of it.

May 7

2013

Are You Making Money or Losing It? Also: Porridge

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It’s never just about the money coming in; you have to consider the money going out.  When you take on a job, sure, you might earn $5,000. But what’s the cost of earning it?  If you have to forfeit 3 other projects (and your favorite Wednesday night TV show) for a combined total revenue of […]

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Jul 14

2017

The Case For Charging Good Money (Featuring an $800 Example)

Jul 14, 2017

So here’s some crazy shit: a few weeks ago, I spent $800+ on supplements. DID YOU ALMOST PASS OUT AT THAT NUMBER BECAUSE I DEFINITELY DID. But there was good reason, however, and that good reason includes the words “hypothyroid” and “dangerously deficient” and “body full of inflammation”—which explains SO MANY THINGS, including why dropping […]

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Jun 14

2017

Spending Money is Not a Sacrifice, But a Strategy

Jun 14, 2017

Spending money is not a sacrifice, but a strategy. Most people don’t look at it like that, though, and so they spend less—and end up making less, too. But money is like a lever—which, not so coincidentally, comes from the French word, “to raise.” If you think of a seesaw, on one side you have […]

In: Money Talk

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Apr 11

2019

Ladies: DO NOT LET THEM MONEY-SHAME YOU

Apr 11, 2019

You know what’s been blowing RIGHT up my skirt lately? That women are shamed for wanting money—as if this is a bad thing. We’re shamed for charging it, for thinking about it, and for daring to create something that we—brace yourselves, folks—want money for, in exchange. There’s this unspoken code of conduct that comes with […]

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Jan 6

2015

Business Lacking Direction? Start With the Money.

Jan 6, 2015

Imagine you’re seven years old, and you’ve never cooked anything before, so help your Fisher Price kitchenette. But suddenly you’re home alone, and you’re tasked with making yourself a meal. So naturally, you do what any seven year old would do: You get a big pot, and you start putting your favorite things into it. Pepperoni pizza—fucking […]

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Mar 12

2013

Percentage Off or Flat Rate? How to Run a Sale That SELLS.

Mar 12, 2013

I hate rules. No swimming after eating. Let him call you. Sorry, our video library can only be watched from within The United States. (Stab. Stab. Stab.) No white after Labor Day. And other silly rules like stay on your side of the road. …I kid, I kid. That last one can slide–as long as […]

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Apr 16

2019

29 Creative Ways You Can Find Some Extra Money on the Fly, In a Pinch, When You’re Strapped and When You’re All: SOS, Cash Flow Where’d You Go?!

Apr 16, 2019

The other day I urged women: do not let them money shame you. Do not! Even though they’ll try to. Even though, because you’re a woman, you’ll be deemed “delusional” and “scammy” and “self-serving,” the more money you charge—even if it’s the going rate. And yet, when a man charges the same thing, they are […]

In: Money Talk

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May 1

2019

YOU AREN’T CHARGING ENOUGH. Here Are Twenty Big, Fat Reasons Why.

May 1, 2019

Andddd (drum roll!) we continue our discussion about money with the biggest, hairiest, most existential question in all of entrepreneurship: “How much should I charge?” While other people are worried about how much they’re spending, YOU have the ass-clenching task of worrying about how much you’re earning. (Let’s be honest, your ass did clench up […]

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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