ASH AMBIRGE

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How to Be a Bitch About Money: The 8 Money Policies Every Freelancer NEEDS to Avoid Getting Burned Like a Ham Sandwich—Including the Rock-Solid Refund Policy That Slays

In: Money Talk

Eight-thousand dollars.

Eight-thousand dollars!

EIGHT-THOUSAND DUH-OLLLL-ERS.

That's the (actual) amount of cold, hard cash one designer recently had charged backed by a client—and her credit card company sided with the client.

Mother of ouch.

More than that, though, this kind of crisis can be absolutely devastating to a freelance business that's operating paycheck to paycheck, trying to make ends meet. Eight-thousand dollars is pretty much having to give someone YOUR CAR. Like, welp, here you go, HERE'S MY HONDA ACCORD—and why not kick me in the jugs a few times, too, and shit on my kitty?

You might think that's an extreme example (the eight-thousand dollars thing, not the whole shitting atop a feline thing—though both are other level?), and that something like that will likely not happen to you, but I'm sad to report that the odds are not in your favor: at some point, you're gonna get burrrnnnned. And it's going to suuuuckkkkk. And you will be so, so sad. It will ruin all the days. You won't even want an ice cream cone. And it might even make you want to close up shop and go back to doing something involving fewer…fuckstick human beings.

But I have good news (she sings off-key): first, fucksticks are everywhere, so nice try. Two, most of your clients will not be fucksticks. And third, you can avoid at least 98.88% of this kind of fast-and-loose heartache and hassle by simply implementing eight of my favorite easy-breezy but badass money policies that will help you (a) Create appropriate boundaries; (b) Set client expectations; (c) Stay in control of your business; (d) Run your business well; (e) Protect the money you've worked hard to earn  (f) Let people know that you are the kind of person who HANDLES IT.

And guess what fam? I'm not just going to tell you what they are: you and I are going to sit down and outline your new money policies together! I'm going to be running a super duper exciting all-new, 100% free class this coming Thursday, June 6th at 11am Eastern, where we'll go through my top eight money policies every freelancers should 10,000% have (like, so help you vodka) and I'll explain in detail why each is important and how they work—and you can decide right then and there what your all-new money policies are. 💪🏻

This is for you if you've ever:

  • Gotten the dreaded “refund request” from a client after you've done the work—à la above—and didn't know how to proceed with integrity, honor your time or save your cash flow.
  • Had a client want to cancel mid-way through your work together because you're not vibing—or something worse. Um, now what?!
  • Had clients keep making additional requests—without realizing how much extra work this is. Or paying you for it.
  • Had clients go MIA, become non-responsive, or hold up the project (which backs up your work load AND holds up your next payment)
  • Had clients happily nodding along the entire time, but at the end say they're unsatisfied.
  • Didn't have any of this happen yet, but want to rapidly speed up your learning curve and make sure it doesn't!
  • P.S. We'll also talk about more stuff, too—like, protecting yourself from late and non-payment. No matter what kind of freelance work you do, YOU NEED SOME SOLID MONEY POLICIES, LADIES!

This free class is basically going to be a PARTY. You'll walk away feeling sooooooo smart, so ready, so on top of things, and so damn professional, you won't be able to wait until your next client inquires. Because you? You've got this. And I've got your back all the way.

So if you're like: CHRIST ON A STICK, I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY POLICIES, ASH! / I don't know what my policies should say / I don't know what is the norm / I feel uncomfortable with all of this / I don't even have a work agreement (cue panic)—then, hooray, because—bongo drum roll—I will see your ass in class, my friend. Register here—it's free! Hint: there will also be a very special, very useful, very top-secret surprise at the end. Because yasssssss to making more money! And to not apologizing for ANY of it.

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There is a distinct and profound difference between people who make money and people who don’t: the money. Hard, cold, beautiful bendy stacks of cash. I know there are a lot of people that say money is evil and your nostrils will catch on fire if you want anything other than world peace, but usually—and pardon […]

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Imagine you’re seven years old, and you’ve never cooked anything before, so help your Fisher Price kitchenette. But suddenly you’re home alone, and you’re tasked with making yourself a meal. So naturally, you do what any seven year old would do: You get a big pot, and you start putting your favorite things into it. Pepperoni pizza—fucking […]

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The other day I urged women: do not let them money shame you. Do not! Even though they’ll try to. Even though, because you’re a woman, you’ll be deemed “delusional” and “scammy” and “self-serving,” the more money you charge—even if it’s the going rate. And yet, when a man charges the same thing, they are […]

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Caution: Stop Masturbating With Your Money.

Last year I had $224,225.77 in business expenses. That’s a metric fuck ton of cash for a small business to be throwing down, and probably more than my mother ever made in her entire life. And yet, I’ve never been so pleased and here’s why: When you do it right, your expenses aren’t expenses. They’re […]

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Are You Making Money or Losing It? Also: Porridge

It’s never just about the money coming in; you have to consider the money going out.  When you take on a job, sure, you might earn $5,000. But what’s the cost of earning it?  If you have to forfeit 3 other projects (and your favorite Wednesday night TV show) for a combined total revenue of […]

In: Money Talk

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May 31

2019

How to Be a Bitch About Money: The 8 Money Policies Every Freelancer NEEDS to Avoid Getting Burned Like a Ham Sandwich—Including the Rock-Solid Refund Policy That Slays

Eight-thousand dollars. Eight-thousand dollars! EIGHT-THOUSAND DUH-OLLLL-ERS. That’s the (actual) amount of cold, hard cash one designer recently had charged backed by a client—and her credit card company sided with the client. Mother of ouch. More than that, though, this kind of crisis can be absolutely devastating to a freelance business that’s operating paycheck to paycheck, […]

In: Money Talk

READ MORE >>

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