ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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The World’s Funniest Fucking Soaps, Uh, Ever

In: Finding Your Voice

You should know that I have officially discovered THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER BEEN MADE (after Cards Against Humanity, of course) and I had to share with you because I don’t keep anything from you (except for that one thing) and because we could all use some inspiration and also because CAN WE JUST LIGHTEN UP ABOUT BUSINESS AND HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT, ALREADY?

These soaps are all made by The Whiskey River Soap Company, and if you don’t think they are hilarious I’m pretty sure we’re going to have to duel.

More importantly, however, the lesson is this:

What you say about your product IS the product—more than the product itself will ever be. 

Nov 22

2017

There’s No Such Thing As An Idea That *Isn’t* Offensive

You know what I’m grateful for? Fucking. NOT LIKE THAT, SICKO. Although, I mean, I guess…wait. Let me start again. I like the word fucking because it’s representative of something so much bigger than that, which is the real thing I’m grateful for: freedom of expression. Remember that cute little First Amendment? It says that the […]

333 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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Dec 31

2010

Resolutions Are For Chumps. I Choose Revolution.

All the things you think you need this year, you don’t. You do not need more determination.  You do not need more discipline.  And you certainly do not need more diligence. Are you kidding me? You are a Westerner–you’ve got plenty of that.  Why else have you gotten up every single day and begrudgingly gone […]

5,993 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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Oct 26

2017

Sometimes, Being Difficult Is an Act of Devotion

Nobody wants to “be difficult.” Those words have stigma tattooed right across their rear. Just hearing them makes you think of that psycho in line at the grocery store, berating the cashier for not accepting her expired coupon. (She’s also wearing Uggs, for the record, and DEFINITELY has a soggy cigarette hanging out of her […]

304 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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Sep 15

2015

Plan On Being Nervous, Brilliantly

Being nervous sucks. Your pulse races. Your brain blanks. Your hands shake like little assholes. You tell yourself to take deep breaths, but the minute you do, you then worry that the entire room can see the fact that your heart is, in fact, doing the electric slide up and down your rib cage. (God […]

1,466 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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Aug 25

2017

The Competition Doesn’t Have Sh*t On You

There’s never been a person who went to school for accounting and said: BUT WAIT, I CAN’T BECOME AN ACCOUNTANT BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE ALREADY DOINGGGGG THATTTTTTTTTTT. There are plenty of people out there doing exactly what you want to do—times eleventy thousand. “But there are already so many writers / designers / candlestick makers” […]

542 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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Dec 30

2015

On Becoming Unfuckwithable

Unfuckwithable. If you’re contemplating themes for the New Year, I highly recommend borrowing this one. Rolls right off the tongue and deep dives directly into your ovaries. But more importantly? We need this. We need this because there are always going to be days—weeks, months, years—where everything feels hard. There are always going to be […]

39,146 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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Dec 28

2012

Forget Your Manners.

It’s polite to: …fulfill your obligations. …answer them back right away. …nod in agreement. …go with the flow. …do as you’re asked. …drink because they are. …take their call. …give your undivided attention. …fill the silence. …and always be there when they need you. Then again, no one’s ever done anything remarkable by always being […]

795 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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