ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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There’s No Such Thing as The Committee of True & Actual Greatness™

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

You know what’s the absolute worst? Waiting in line at the doctor’s office.

There’s a lot of anxiety around that, am I right? Nobody likes waiting at the doctor’s office because we all secretly think that the doctor’s just sitting behind a closed door somewhere, doing wheelies in an office chair, watching the minutes churn past with glee as they browse the latest in Pinterest gardening techniques while the rest of us waste away in a sea of plastic orange non-moveable chairs, watching somebody else’s kid struggle to make an alphabet block tower, listening to some loud talker named Rog while wondering HOW MUCH LONGER THE LADY ACROSS FROM YOU IS GOING TO HOG THE SPRING 2003 EDITION OF READER’S DIGEST.

Should I even get into the joys of waiting to get off the airplane?

The truth is, there are plenty of things in life that are going to require you to suck it up and just WAIT. We know this. We do this. We do this every day. In fact, we do it so much, that it’s slowly but surely become our default setting, because it’s easier to apply the rules across the board than it is to test them in every new situation.

So as a result, we wait to be told what to do all the time—even in situations when we don’t have to anymore. Even in situations when it’s actually become a clear and obvious disadvantage for us to wait any longer. Specifically, situations like your career. Because let’s be honest: if you’re hating your job / life /  work and waiting around patiently for “something good to come your way,” The Committee of True and Actual Greatness™—what I call the fictitious organization we're all secretly waiting for approval from—is never going to run up to you and say, “Hey, you know what? I’ve been thinking, and you’re really doing work that’s beneath you. But don’t worry, I’ve gone ahead and set you up with this brand new career, and you’ll even be your own boss, and you’ll be doing this remarkably fulfilling creative work like you always wanted. Here you go, kid! THE PLEASURE IS ALL MINE.”

Never gonna happen. You can wait all you want, but that little gem's never coming down the pipeline.

So why do we keep waiting for it to?

Why do you stroll through the halls of your office building waiting to be noticed? Why do you do the work that eats your heart alive, hoping that someone will give you a better opportunity…soon?

Ironically, waiting has become the new shortcut to certainty. And since WE’RE ALL SO DESPERATE TO BE CERTAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING, we’d rather wait around and torture ourselves every single minute of our lives in favor of feeling sure about something, anything, than we would make the change / take the leap / do the thing / try something outrageous….and risk not having that certainty to fall back on.

What’s not being acknowledged, of course, is that “certainty” was never something you wanted—until the day you forgot what you did.

Jun 9

2017

The World Isn’t Your Mommy

Jun 9, 2017

You know what’s crazy? There’s not actually a team of people assigned to your life, sitting around monitoring your blood work, and your bank accounts, and the health of your relationships, jotting down notes, circling areas of concern. There’s no supervisor. No one checking your progress. No one setting quarterly reviews. As a result, we […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Oct 25

2018

Be Brave, Courageous, Interesting, Crazy, Difficult, Weird, and Downright Complicated. But Don’t You Ever Be Normal.

Oct 25, 2018

You know what’s fucked up? Normal. Normal is so fucked up. For example, it’s normal for expats to drink daily in Costa Rica. This is a terrible idea, and yet, because it’s done over and over again, it’s become normalized. NO ONE WILL GIVE YOU THE STINK EYE FOR SLUGGING A BEER AT 10AM, Y’ALL. […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Oct 15

2010

A Conversation With An Immigrant on U.S. Life

Oct 15, 2010

I had an insightful conversation with a Mexican immigrant the other day. We also might have had a round of margaritas, which could have enhanced the perceived value of the conversation, but nevertheless, I wanted to share it with you. It went something like this: ME: So, I imagine you came here with some expectations […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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May 4

2010

Shattering the Current Model of Reality

May 4, 2010

Most of you reading this website are here because you want more. Tried and true may be comfortable, but boring.  The traditional life path may be safe, but uninspiring.  The status quo is average, but nothing extraordinary. You know there’s something missing, but you can’t pinpoint what, exactly, it is. We’ve essentially been told for […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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May 11

2010

2 Minute Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

May 11, 2010

If you clicked on this post, you either: a) Need to get a grip. b) Want to reclaim your life. c) Have no time to do either. d) Googled “mating habits of porcupines” and this just came up. e) You read everything I write because you’re secretly plotting my demise. With the exception of letter […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Apr 30

2018

If You Feel Like a Big, Fat Imposter Who Doesn’t Deserve Anything and Worries About EVERYTHING, Read This. It’s a GOOD Thing.

Apr 30, 2018

I’m writing this from a place that could almost be mistaken for the Italian countryside, were I not surrounded by lizards and toucans and bullfrogs the size of a fucking dinosaur. Rather, I am high up in the hills of Central America overlooking the Costa Rican valley from my squishy, pancake lounger—it sort of reminds me of […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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