ASH AMBIRGE

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What Does It Mean to Take Care of Yourself, Right Now?

In: Feeling Disillusioned With Life

A question I ask myself often: What does it mean to take care of myself right now?

It's FREAKING TERRIFYING how much we do on autopilot.

  • We order the second glass of wine.
  • Stay to be polite.
  • Agree to help! HELPING EVERYBODY!
  • Eat what everybody else is having because you don't want to make a fuss.
  • Let them talk and talk and talk and monopolize all of your time.
  • Give up your nights to things you don't care about.
  • Spend your days doing a job you don't care about.
  • Stick it out. Persevere. Persist. Even when it's not in your best interest, anymore, because not giving up is just what you do.
  • Shrink instead of saying THE VERY HARD THING.
  • Do the job for less money than it's worth.
  • Meet them for coffee as a professional courtesy.
  • Smile and nod your life away.

It's easy to live your life out of habit. But soon those habits will have you waking up one day going, where did it all go? What do I have to show for it? And why do I suddenly look like a middle-aged biker? (The hardness of life shows up on your face, indeed.)

I think being selectively selfish, sometimes, is some of the most important work for us to do. THAT SOUNDS SO WRONG, because contributing is also some of the most important work for us to do. But there's a time and place for everything—and your time is today.

What does it mean to take care of myself right now?

I think the answer will surprise you. Oftentimes it's the exact opposite of what you've been doing all along.

Jun 22

2018

Sometimes You Fall Into Things. You Fall Into People, Fall Into Places, Fall Into Patterns, Fall Into Deep Dark Obsessions With Red Velvet Cake. (AHEM.) 

The other day I tweeted about how I watched The Notebook and so CLEARLY I was living my best life. And then I started thinking about how much I love that phrase, because it’s a good reminder, isn’t it? Am I really living my best life? What does that even mean? Sometimes you fall into things. You fall into people, fall into […]

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2017

Pleasure Doesn’t Need an Appointment

In the mornings, I let myself linger underneath the covers, twisting the full, fluffy comforter up and around my face, letting my feet dance in the cotton. It feels so good, to slide your soles through the cool material—almost sinful. When I shower, I surrender to the warmth of the water, letting it caress my […]

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May 31

2018

If Somebody Told Me to Pick a Husband at Age Twenty-Three, I’d Likely Be Waking Up Next to Some Guy Who Can’t Spell “Lemon.”

You know why we’re all unhappy and restless and jaded and depressed? LIFE IS BORING US TO TEARS. Boredom is the devil, but most people don’t realize they’re bored. They’re busy working. They’re busy running. They’re busy doing ALL THE ERRANDS and keeping up with those fucksticks, The Jones’. It doesn’t feel like they’re bored, […]

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Oct 25

2018

Be Brave, Courageous, Interesting, Crazy, Difficult, Weird, and Downright Complicated. But Don’t You Ever Be Normal.

You know what’s fucked up? Normal. Normal is so fucked up. For example, it’s normal for expats to drink daily in Costa Rica. This is a terrible idea, and yet, because it’s done over and over again, it’s become normalized. NO ONE WILL GIVE YOU THE STINK EYE FOR SLUGGING A BEER AT 10AM, Y’ALL. […]

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Jan 23

2019

OH, NO, SORRY TO DISAPPOINT. All Fucks Are Currently on Backorder. We’ll Alert You When This Item Is Back in Stock.

So there’s this tall, spiky, sassy-ass house plant on my balcony—the thing looks like a punk rocker troll, or maybe a pile of swords, planted upright. (Scratch that, it’s definitely a pile of middle fingers. Oh, how apropos! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.) Anywauurrrrryyyyy, if I don’t water this motherfucker for just one day. Just ONE day. All […]

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