ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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What Does It Mean to Take Care of Yourself, Right Now?

In: Feeling Disillusioned With Life

A question I ask myself often: What does it mean to take care of myself right now?

It's FREAKING TERRIFYING how much we do on autopilot.

  • We order the second glass of wine.
  • Stay to be polite.
  • Agree to help! HELPING EVERYBODY!
  • Eat what everybody else is having because you don't want to make a fuss.
  • Let them talk and talk and talk and monopolize all of your time.
  • Give up your nights to things you don't care about.
  • Spend your days doing a job you don't care about.
  • Stick it out. Persevere. Persist. Even when it's not in your best interest, anymore, because not giving up is just what you do.
  • Shrink instead of saying THE VERY HARD THING.
  • Do the job for less money than it's worth.
  • Meet them for coffee as a professional courtesy.
  • Smile and nod your life away.

It's easy to live your life out of habit. But soon those habits will have you waking up one day going, where did it all go? What do I have to show for it? And why do I suddenly look like a middle-aged biker? (The hardness of life shows up on your face, indeed.)

I think being selectively selfish, sometimes, is some of the most important work for us to do. THAT SOUNDS SO WRONG, because contributing is also some of the most important work for us to do. But there's a time and place for everything—and your time is today.

What does it mean to take care of myself right now?

I think the answer will surprise you. Oftentimes it's the exact opposite of what you've been doing all along.

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I have a little ritual called Eucalyptus Spearmint. I’ve got it in body lotion, and in spray, and in candle (obviously), and I’ll put my little feet up on the ottoman in the living room (okay, fine, they’re big, entirely undainty feet), and I’ll slowly, and tenderly, give myself the best fucking foot massage this […]

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So there’s this tall, spiky, sassy-ass house plant on my balcony—the thing looks like a punk rocker troll, or maybe a pile of swords, planted upright. (Scratch that, it’s definitely a pile of middle fingers. Oh, how apropos! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.) Anywauurrrrryyyyy, if I don’t water this motherfucker for just one day. Just ONE day. All […]

In: Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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2017

Self-Care Isn’t Always Glamorous.

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Sooooo, it’s the holidays, and you know what that means? We all need to figure out how the hell we’re going to take care of our drooling, forgetful, overwhelmed selves, come the new year. (Oh, you’re not drooling and forgetful? GET OFF MY YARD.) Which brings up the topic of self-care. Jesus christ we’re bad at […]

In: Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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2018

Sometimes You Fall Into Things. You Fall Into People, Fall Into Places, Fall Into Patterns, Fall Into Deep Dark Obsessions With Red Velvet Cake. (AHEM.) 

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The other day I tweeted about how I watched The Notebook and so CLEARLY I was living my best life. And then I started thinking about how much I love that phrase, because it’s a good reminder, isn’t it? Am I really living my best life? What does that even mean? Sometimes you fall into things. You fall into people, fall into […]

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Burnout Doesn’t Come From Your Business

May 11, 2017

At one point or another, you’ll question your work. You’ll question what you do, and whether you like doing it, and you’ll wonder if you’re on the right path, after all. At one point or another, you’ll be convinced that you hate your work. You’ll be disappointed by clients, discouraged by logistics, and burnt out […]

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You Are Not a 7-Eleven.

Jan 7, 2014

“People need to understand what the fuck BUSINESS HOURS mean. I’m not 7-eleven, folks. I am not. If I wanted to be, I’d just run a 7-eleven. Big Gulps all the fuck around.”– Got that email from a frustrated business owner yesterday. I laughed so hard I almost spit wine on my bed. (I said almost. […]

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Feb 8

2019

I Hate Mantras, And YET—I Love This One for When You’re Kinda Sorta Shitting Your Pants

Feb 8, 2019

I have a mantra (despite wanting to slit my throat upon hearing the word “mantra.”) Are you ready? My mantra is this: WHO CARES HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT? GO ANYWAY. Which sounds really kinda wrong, right? We’re a culture based on f-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-i-n-g-s. But sometimes, you have to override the ones that I call false […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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