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So, People Suck at Talking to Each Other

In: WTF Is Marketing?

People suck at talking to each other.

I’ve thought about this post for days now, and turns out? That’s my grand epiphany. My big, profound opening line.

As a professional communicator & copywriter, trained linguist, PR expert and author of that filthy blog, “The Middle Finger Project” (my hooligan credentials), I get paid to say the right thing. (Come to think of it, men should really hire me to ghostwrite their apologies.)

While I may be more skilled than the average bear when it comes to arranging the alphabet, the average bear’s utter lack of finesse never fails to surprise shock the everloving shit out of me.

Sure, damages around being a disjointed, incoherent, stammering boob might not amount to much for some people–maybe your in-laws think you’re special ed, or the tall guy at the reference desk actually revokes your library card.

But for business owners and professionals and people whose careers demand they interact with those creatures called humans, there are more substantial consequences to communicating like a halfwit.

Whether or not you get the gig. How much respect you get. How the world views you. Whether or not the world cares. How much they spend. The kinds of relationships you’ll have. Whether you’ll be trusted. How your clients treat you. The way you make people feel.

If you don’t make people feel good about doing business with you, they won’t.

And making people feel good (or not) these days happens most often through the written word, because the internet is driven by the written word–and that means you & your business need to be, too. Every email. Every blog post. Every proposal. Every page.

I predict that those who prioritize writing well are going to quickly take over every market, and every industry, and blow their competitors out of the ocean.

Because nobody has time to cut through the noise themselves–your words have to do it for them. Nobody is going to sit down and figure out what you’re trying to say–you have to say it. Nobody is going to tolerate dismissive, curt, unprofessional communications–you have to be a class act (even when you feel like screaming). And nobody is going to care about experiencing whatever it is you’re selling–unless you care about their experience first.

And since their experience is what they’re reading on the screen?

Your words are  the experience.

Your words are you, your product, your service, your value.

And for anyone who doesn’t believe that?

Consider the business coach versus the business consultant…and then ask yourself who makes more money.

Words shape perception.

And perception is reality.

And the truth is that reality?

Isn’t written in the stars.

It’s written in your last email.



Don’t Stand Out – Stand the Fuck Up.

So. If you recall, in the last post, I made up a ridiculous scenario where you were headed to your fake neighbor’s house for dinner, whose guts you may or may not have secretly hated. She was serving you quiche, at which point you made a face that slightly resembled this—> ?!?!?!?!!!!!. As a result, […]

In: WTF Is Marketing?




Let The Serious Folks Go Seriously Broke.

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In: WTF Is Marketing?




Difference Isn’t About Being Different.

You know what I’m passionate about? Elephants. Big, giant, hot chartreuse, polka dotted elephants. In the room. Online. Where there’s at least one Nigerian Prince sending out emails with the salutation, “Friend.” (Oh wait, that was me.) Right now, the elephant in the room I’m sitting in is the increasingly common practice of—how should I […]

In: WTF Is Marketing?




Make 50% of the Population Hate You

“Make 50% of the population hate you.” My editor reminded me of this the other day when we were talking about the main argument of my book. (And then I immediately wanted to tongue her.) Because that’s what arguments do, after all: they stand in opposition to something. They take a stand, plant their flag, […]

In: WTF Is Marketing?


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