ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

Learn More >>

You Don’t Exist to Please Dipshits

In: Finding Your Voice

You know how when you meet someone, and they give you this snotty little look like, “you’re a fucking freak,” and then you start wondering, “AM I A FUCKING FREAK?! IS THAT WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?” And you’re so quick to second guess yourself instead of second guessing the constipated stuck up instead?

I hate moments like those.

When I was young, I thought that any person who looked at me sideways was looking at me sideways because something about me was wrong. Too loud, too silly, too sweary, too sweaty (that too), too cheery, too young, too fat, too dressed up, too dressed down, too much, too much, TOO. MUCH.

Too not for them.

As such:

If you were quiet, I’d try to be more quiet…to please you.
If you spoke in a formal register, I’d speak in a formal register… to please you.
If you were a fast-talkin’ city slicker, I’d be a fast-talkin’ city slicker…to please you.

It was only when I found people like me, who were naturally silly and goofy and sarcastic and banter-ey and completely over the top, that I ever really felt like myself.

Until I got older. And I became an adult. And I was on par with all of these other adults, with their cars and their houses and their jobs and their credit cards, when I realized that: (a) Most people are dipshits and; (b) I wasn’t too much—they were too little.

It never occurred to me that the people looking at me, judging me, could be wrong.

And sometimes, even if only by sheer probability, I’d be right at least 50% of the time.

Now that I know this, it makes life so much simpler. You make cross-eyes at me, I automatically assume something’s wrong with you, not me. (Well, USUALLY—unless I’m sneaking gin into the movie theater.) This subtle little shift in perspective has saved me more times than I can count. Because when you get out there in this world, there’s always going to be someone trying to bring you down. Always going to be someone who’s jealous or shitty or unfair. And what, are you going to let that stop you? Shrink you? Put you back into your shell?

You have the right to exist as you are.

Being a chameleon might seem like a good thing, until you realize it doesn’t make you versatile: it makes you invisible.

Jun 2

2015

When You’re Scrappy, You Don’t Give a Sh*t

Jun 2, 2015

I like the term scrappy. I’ve always pictured some femme fatale bobbing and weaving and diving and contorting herself into any number of ways to get the one and only job done that she’s there to do: Win. It reminds me of my favorite Will Smith quote (oh, you don’t have a favorite Will Smith quote?) “The […]

In: Finding Your Voice

READ ME >>

May 27

2014

Do You Have Chickenshititis?

May 27, 2014

I have a friend named Melissa. (Yes, I have friends.) Melissa doesn’t have a job. She spent her twenties and thirties working for other people as a professional headhunter–(am I obligated to make a Headless Horseman joke here?)–before finally going back to school to pursue an advanced certification in Human Resources. And then she waited. And she […]

In: Finding Your Voice

READ ME >>

May 27

2017

The Anti-Trump Bar: The Way You Stand Out is By Standing UP

May 27, 2017

There’s an AWESOME new creative cocktail lounge in New York City called Coup. All of the profits are being donated to organizations being threatened or defunded by the current administration. Tips are donated, too. Guest bartenders are flying in from all over the world, no charge, to donate their services. And guess what? There are lines […]

In: Finding Your Voice

READ ME >>

Jun 3

2012

Battle Cry of the Crazies: For Anyone Hustling for MORE

Jun 3, 2012

  You aren’t crazy for wanting what hasn’t even occurred to them to want. You aren’t crazy for needingwhat they would only deem a luxury. You aren’t crazy for demandingthat circumstances yield to you, instead of the other way around. And you aren’t crazy for taking what it means to be human, and turning it upside […]

In: Finding Your Voice

READ ME >>

Apr 18

2017

Growth Requires Muscle Tears

Apr 18, 2017

Yesterday I talked about change—and it’s no coincidence. I’m making some big changes myself, given that a lot of things are coming to an end, right now. Because iteration is what we’re all doing, every single day, even if it blows by us going 100mph down the freeway. (In a red Ferrari, smoking a cigar, […]

In: Finding Your Voice

READ ME >>

Mar 20

2014

I Brought 20 Hookers to Central America on Business.

Mar 20, 2014

I sloshed on yet another layer of gloss, steering frantically with one hand while trying not to rear end a truck full of cows. I mean, what would I tell the Life Hooky group? “We didn’t pick you up at the airport in San Jose because, see, there were these cowsssssss.” Even I would think I […]

In: Finding Your Voice

READ ME >>

Jan 14

2016

Sometimes in Business, You Need to Do YOU.

Jan 14, 2016

The dead horse of the decade is the target customer. You’re asked to create personas. Put yourself in their shoes bras. Get inside their head. Imagine what’s keeping them up at 3 o’clock in the morning. (For the record, it’s that their ass is getting fat and they totally forgot to make cookies for their […]

In: Finding Your Voice

READ ME >>

Nov 22

2017

There’s No Such Thing As An Idea That *Isn’t* Offensive

Nov 22, 2017

You know what I’m grateful for? Fucking. NOT LIKE THAT, SICKO. Although, I mean, I guess…wait. Let me start again. I like the word fucking because it’s representative of something so much bigger than that, which is the real thing I’m grateful for: freedom of expression. Remember that cute little First Amendment? It says that the […]

In: Finding Your Voice

READ ME >>

Jun 11

2016

When You Feel Worthy of Being Seen…It Shows

Jun 11, 2016

  Let me tell you what: American women may have Victoria’s Secret, but Italian women have another secret altogether. You know it by the way she holds her head a little higher than yours, eyes on fire, gliding down the god damn sidewalk as if her and Mother Nature were tag teaming. It is not just […]

In: Finding Your Voice

READ ME >>

Aug 12

2017

A Note of Support for All My Dreamers Getting Their Ideas Pooh-Poohed By Their Family, Their Friends, Their Spouses, and Their Neighbors (Fucking Neighbors, Am I Right?)

Aug 12, 2017

In the year 2010, friends would call and say: “So, how’s your blooooooooggggggg?” The tone was obvious: How’s your cute little imaginary friend that you think is going to save you from the real world that the rest of us have to suffer through? The year 2011, I made $103,000 with that blog—a far cry […]

In: Finding Your Voice

READ ME >>

I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

Enter your email address and I’ll send you my advice column every week sharing everything I’ve learned—and so much more.

But no serial killers. I promise I won’t send those.

Privacy Policy Info Here