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The Halloween Email Your Clients Will LOVE (Hint: It’s a Promo ~In Disguise~)

In: Client Scripts and Templates

It’s Halloween: and that doesn’t only mean gluing a bunch of paint samples to your shirt and showing up to parties as “50 Shades of Gray” (ACE), it also means it’s a killer opportunity to run a fun promo and become even more memorable in the minds of your clients. Every holiday is a chance to make ‘em fall in love with you a little bit more, and if you do it right? You can even double down on your business with them, too.

I’ve used tactics like this to instantly book new work, fill up my calendar, go from earning $2,000 once for a one-off project, to earning $2,000 monthly, and make my clients smile at the same time. It’s a win-win for everybody!

So copy and paste this email into your Gmail and send it off today. Your bank account will thank you. And so will your clients. And probably even Ryan Gosling. (Maybe you should dress your boyfriend up as him? JUST A SUGGESTION.)



Hey [Client]! Trick or treat!

Just kidding, it’s always a treat to work with you—obviously—but in the spirit of Halloween, I wanted to return the favor and sweeten the pot cauldron: I’m handing out client candy this week! 🎃

Okay, so it’s not actual candy. And it’s not the kind your mother warned you about. It’s more like a fun client perk, because you SO deserve it. Thank you for your business, and for being such an awesome partner. (And for not killing me when we hit that snafu last week.)

So let’s assume you’ve just showed up at my house wearing a swanky adult platypus costume (somebody’s got to do it): go ahead and select a complimentary “treat” from my digital doorstep! I’ll apply it to your account immediately, because why let the kids have all the fun?

Your treat options today are:

Option #1: 10% off your invoice this month
Option #2: A rush request of your choosing
Option #3: Priority scheduling on our January 2020 calendar for any new work
Option #4: A permanent 15% off all of your invoices with a 6-month retainer, or 20% off a 12-month retainer

Just hit reply with 1, 2, 3, or 4 and I’ll take care of it right away. Happy Halloween, [client name]!



AKA, Someone Who’s Been Eating Far Too Much Yellow #5 And Has Lived to Tell the Tale

Oct 30


The Four Paragraph Email You ~Need~ to Memorize For When Clients Owe You Money (But You Aren’t Sure What to SAY)

Oct 30, 2019

Recently, my friend S called and said: “Shit, balls, fuck, I’m running out of cash flow—my clients owe me money but they haven’t paid yet and I don’t know what to…say?” Okay, so maybe I added the “shit, balls, fuck” bit, but you know it’s exactly what’s going through your mind unless you’re a Mormon. […]

In: Client Scripts and Templates


I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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