The Surefire Way to Save Yourself from Mediocrity (That You Already Know, But Don’t Do)
Q: Who’s Your Daddy?
A: Novelty
In the last year, two of the countries I’ve lived in are Chile & Costa Rica. In both places, I did a number of things, kissed met a number of people, and learned a number of lessons.
Many people advocate the value of travel–that’s nothing new–but what they’re really advocating is the value of experiences.
Experiences yield so much more than an adrenaline rush; they exercise our souls, rejuvenate our minds, refine our perspectives, provide us with lifelong memories and, most of all, make us come alive. (Possibly assisted by Jose Cuervo, but no bold claims.)
Travel fosters new experiences. New experiences are, by default, novel. Novelty forces us to think critically and be present in the moment. This is why travel is such a valuable tool in terms of personal growth.
When we’re at home, it’s remarkably easy to get stuck in a rut. We rely on our routines to carry us through our weeks, which turn into months, which turn into years. And while routines can be comfortable, they can also be really stifling–without us even realizing it.
Today, I want to share some of the experiences I’ve had over the past year that have kept me sane. I encourage you to run, faster than ever, toward your own. If nothing else, you’ll at least have one or two damn good stories to tell. (But hide the photos. By all means, hide the photos!)
Costa Rica, Land Where Happiness is Contagious–Possibly The Result of an Unnamed, Unknown Shot Administered to the Glutes When Developing Signs of the Common Cold. Or Not. But I Really Wanted to Mention It.
Did unspeakable things on top of a waterfall. Had a healer perform a ritual on my forearm to rid me of a stomach virus. Determined that hips not only come in all different shapes & sizes…but also range of motion. Ran hand-in-hand with a cute German boy into the ocean at night with all of our clothes on & not a care in the world. Just because.
Had my purse stolen. Twice. Watched a mother & baby whale hovering off the coastline as I sipped a caipirinha at sunset. Learned that raw fish tastes better than cooked fish, and that butter is what you put on top of saltines. Made peace with bugs, but mastered the art of killing cockroaches when duty called– a particularly tricky task when one’s pants are around one’s ankles in the bathroom.
Experienced a 6.8 earthquake (which was far better than being bombed, since I didn’t know the word for “earthquake,” and thought that’s what was happening at the time). Made the acquaintance of a porn director, a Swedish prostitute & Matthew McConaughey. Discerned the value of patience while standing in long lines, as well as the value of using the ladies’ room beforehand. Watched barefoot children play soccer in the streets with empty soda bottles, and saw their unabashed excitement the next day when I returned with an armful of balls.
Experimented with foreign sounds coming out of my mouth, and giggled when they didn’t quite make it. Felt the wind in my hair atop jet skis, 4-wheelers, scooters, deep-sea fishing boats & bicycles, and the sun on my skin as I rafted down rivers, ziplined my way through rainforests, kayaked my way through mangroves and hiked my way up mountains.
But Most Importantly…
Learned that people and what they do for a living are mutually exclusive. Found out what it means to be madly, passionate, uncontrollably in love. Found out what it means to be profoundly, devastatingly, soul-crushingly hurt. Discovered that politically drawn lines separate countries, not humanity. Unearthed universal truths about the world, but at the same time, uncovered even more particular truths about myself. Understood what it finally meant to feel alive. And last but not least, gained knowledge that in some places, short shorts really can be practical.
Chile, Land of Ridiculous-Looking Pants & Guards That Look Like the Guards at Buckingham Palace, but Aren’t.
Witnessed a man without legs heave himself down the aisle of a public bus with his elbows. Participated in a student-run, alcohol-fueled, end-of-year celebratory party inside the walls of Santiago’s most prestigious university. Wistfully admired the immense majesty of snow-capped Andes mountains from the other side of the glass in my bedroom. Climbed a portion of the Andes mountains with newfound Brazilian friends, then later celebrated the glory of the vineyards of their valleys.
Taught smart, driven college students the right way to pronounce the “sh” sound in English, and they taught me what it means not to have opportunity handed to you on a silver platter. Was flown to Patagonia in order to impart valuable knowledge to high school students, but it was those high school students who showed me that innocence is sometimes the most valuable quality of all.
Rode llamas in the city, took cable cars up mountainsides, and relished every single bus ride across town. Ate a seafood delicacy known as locos that is apparently only available off the coast of Chile (still haven’t found the English equivalent), delighted in the tradition of warming red wine on the grill, and witnessed the power of food in connecting strangers. Covered myself with no less than four comforters each night at my host family’s house, and felt what it was like to truly be cold, but at the same time, through their kind compassion, felt what it was like to truly be warmed.
But Most Importantly…
I learned that “friends” is a mere synonym for “family“–even when you don’t share a common tongue. But most of all, I learned that sometimes, friends are the best form of faith. I discovered the importance of laughing, dancing and blaring the radio with the windows down. I determined that through the hardest of human hardships, hope & kindness prevail, yet through the cushiest of human conditions, greed & hostility are more prevalent. I discovered that stereotypes only stretch as far as we pull them, and differences only noticed as long as we watch them. And last but not least, I learned that when all else fails, it’s never, ever a bad idea to go to the park and whisper sweet nothings into your lover’s ear. (Save the hickeys for a rainy day.)
Be glad that I’m not listing London, 2006 here, or you’d be hearing a lot more about sweet nothings & lovers. Spanish ones, at that. Le sigh.
Surviving Versus Living – Not Even Your Mom Can Help You On This One
Nothing compares to experience. Nothing you could buy. Nothing you could sell. Nothing you could find on eBay. Nothing you could bust a rhyme about. Nothing your mom could bake you in a bunt pan with ooey gooey chocolaty chips melted inside. Not even anything that your Facebook farm with 700 bushels of freaking boysenberries can compare to. (Shocker.)
New experiences are the only path from merely surviving to actually living. And I’m pretty sure that if you don’t already have a down payment on your casket, you’re probably more interested in the latter.
Unless, of course, you have OCD, in which case you very well may already have your casket picked out. (And you thought the Swedish prostitute had issues.)
If this topic interests you, you can grab a free copy of my report titled Living or Just Surviving? A No-Bullshit Guide for Modern-Day Outlaws Who Want to Feel Alive Again. It’s free–you just gotta throw in an email address down below, partner. Then I’ll send you more free stuff later–maybe without foul language in the title. But probably not.
Ride ‘em cowboy!
From the middle finger project, post The Surefire Way to Save Yourself from Mediocrity (That You Already Know, But Don’t Do)
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Filed Under: Life Inspiration • Society & Culture • Travel Related
About the Author: Ashley Ambirge is the sarcastic, brash, hot-sauce-addicted founder of The Middle Finger Project, where she gives the evil eye to mediocrity, fervently questions societal assumptions, and aims to inspire readers to flip a cordial bird to the shoulds, and live how they want.
Whiskey shots strictly optional.
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i love the rebel spirit , keep it up Ashley
Wifey, I am jealous. Really jealous, like giving you virtual dagger eyes jealous. Great post.
Also, please tell me you hit Matthew McConaughey ina de face.
And why does my face no appear. It looks like i'm in a lineup at the moment.
I couldn't agree more, Ash. It is the experience that molds us, makes us into what we are and who we are. Want to change the who and what of you? Go get the experiences that will do that! Don't just dream about it, go do it.
I just wrote about dancing naked in the moonlight on my blog. Why pass up those experiences when you could live them? Life is about living, otherwise it would be called waiting instead of living!
Where were you in Costa Rica?? My grandparents have lived in Monteverde for the past 35 years!
They say, “Ignorance is Bliss”
I say Ignorance is living life without piliing up great experiences as you go. If we just stay in the mundane and never venture outside and see how the rest of the world lives we wallow in the mold that others have set for us.
I am always amazed that when I travel there are people who give me well meaning advice about where I'm going.
They try with good intentions to give me advice about something they never have experienced before.
Like you Ash, I find that people are separated by borders, language and culture. It is only when you pull the curtain back that you will find the wonder that is in this world.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. I'm sure this was the “rated G” version, HA!
Ash,
Sounds like you have already had quite an adventure with even more to come. Costa Rica is next on my list as you can imagine. I'll have to ask you offline about the healers and stomach viruses. I've been saving money for my surf trip to Costa Rica and can't wait to get down there and shred some waves. I've heard amazing things about it, and this only makes me want to go even more. I look forward to reading your guide.
Well said. We live in a world (at least in North America) where it's so easy to get into a comfort zone. The movie Wall-e sums it up quite well, where they paint a future of everyone on floating recliners, sucking back slurpees, with a TV in their face.
It's near impossible to accept the mundane status-quo after an experience you describe. Sharing these stories are great; they remind us there is a world beyond the computer screen and what true experiences are. Thanks!
Oooh.. you make Costa Rica sound more and more appealing.. Matthew McConaughey!!!!
Definitely going to have to hit it for my next vacation.. I only hope it's kid friendly with all that craziness going on! LOL XoXo
@Farouk
By the way, are you located in Egypt? Have a friend heading there soon & was thinking to follow for a little while. Cheers!
Thanks! Pretty big site you've got there–great to connect.
@Jonny
I'm jealous that you have a hotter accent than mine. So we're even. And you have that sweet red hat.
Your face probably wasn't showing up bc Disqus has been giving me major issues lately. Something to look into…..
Besos, hubby!
@Steve
Now, who in their right mind isn't hopping over to your blog to figure out what the hell you're talking about? :p Dancing naked in the moonlight is one that I don't have checked off my list yet, but now you've challenged me. Perhaps once our Status Quo Smackdown Roadtrip 2010 (trip across the USA in July/Aug) is over, that will be next to accomplish! Any pointers? :p
@Jenna
No way! I've lived off and on in Manuel Antonio/Quepos since 2004. You know, I've never actually made it to Monteverde! Perhaps next time around I'll have to make it a priority. Think I'll be starting an on-location business there at the end of this year.
@Randall
Rated G is for sissies, but right now might be the most appropriate.
I tend to think that those who aren't willing/aren't interested to pursue new experiences, in this case, travel, is because they have no perception of what they're missing. So until they do, it will remain a non-priority.
I'll be starting a company that will hopefully help to change that in the near future, however. *strokes chin*
Now not that I would know anything about this
I would pick a full moon night. It would be public enough to make it a risk, but private enough as to not get arrested! Again, I know nothing of this subject, just what I would do that is if I ever did it 
I totally thought the same thing halfway through your comment. YES on the tour. YES. MUST. DO!
@Srini
As I mentioned to you, I'm planning on starting an organization there the end of this year, so I'll be hanging out–you are welcome to come stay. I warn you, though, you might not want to ever come back.
@RyanMartin
So glad you found value in what I shared today. Your Wall-e reference made me laugh, but you're absolutely right.
Once we start putting ourselves out into the world, it's almost impossible to retreat back into our own little corners indefinitely without further wondering, “What else am I missing?”
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment & dropping by the site!
@Cori
What I love most about it is the sense of calm I get when I'm there. There is no rushing. There are not tons of stoplights with people honking. There are not business suits. (Where I was, anyway.) There is no keeping up with the Jones'. There is no pressure to be some kind of big, giant money-making CEO.
There's just lots of love, patience, friendliness, appreciation, gratitude, beauty, silence, greenery…..and my heart. Where I left it the very first time I ever lived there in '04.
Would encourage anyone to go.
Right on Ash-
The Best Experiences in my opinion are usually spontaneous, a little crazy and usually a little bit of a disaster. But that's what makes them memorable =)
I actually wrote on this a while back -
Experiences > Things // http://www.joelrunyon.com/two3/experiences-things
I'd love to hear what you think.
@Joel
You mean like me, Andi & Colin just up and deciding we wanted to drive across the USA and meet you guys? :p Hahaha.
Will be checking out the site! Look forward to it.
EXACTLY =)
p.s. I can not wait! It's gonna be awesome.
Yes! So awesome. So true that being at home promotes routines and travelling promotes adventures. The people who are you with are a big indicator of what you'll be doing as well. It's tough to break out of the routine at home but can be done. Requires a lot of effort though…
When does the Canada part of the tour start?
Cool.
Hope you're writing this shit down for a book, world traveler.
xxoo
g
What a wonderful post.
Thanks for sharing.
@Ross
It's impossible to be in a routine when constantly engaged in new places, people and things. That's what I love so much about it–stagnancy becomes obsolete, and we're forced into growth.
@George
I really do want to write my own ridiculously sarcastic narrative. Soon. VERY soon.
@Noah
Thanks, brotha! Have a fantastic day!
I really like your writing.
The way you depict Costa Rica is like describing my day-to-day working environment (without Matthew McConaughey, et all), but I didn’t realize how cool it was until reading your post –and I’ve been working in the same place for thirteen years. The sad part is that I still haven’t mastered the art of killing cockroaches.
Where all that passion comes from?
@Gustavo
Well thank you, love! You've been in Costa Rica for 13 years, or elsewhere? Where are you from?
One time, I kept noticing cockroaches popping around more frequently than often in my studio apartment in Manuel Antonio. I discovered a huge crack in the wall, where the wall met the floor…which conveniently happened to be right behind my bed. (Ewww!) I got the biggest, baddest can of bug spray I could find, and shot the entire thing into the crack. Low and behold, when I walked out on my balcony (the other side of the wall), there were 20+ cockroaches upside down, dead. GOT CHA.
As far as the passion, it comes from appreciation. Here, I look around me and all I see and feel is pressure, hurry, and a sense of cold. Competition lies in the background of every interaction. What I appreciate about Costa Rica, is that when I'm there, I'm suddenly calm. I work with ease. I don't feel guilty stopping to relax and chat with friends, and I'm more productive in the long run. It's how it makes me feel. The spirit of the country, if you will. Every time I fly into Juan Santamaria, the smiling faces near the car rental area just fill me with such joy. That sounds lame, but I think of those smiling faces every time. The ease with which you can have a conversation with strangers. Their willingness to help. It's just so refreshing.
I’m from the hot lands of Ecuador. I work in an island, not so far from where the volcano erupted (I’ve got my nice shear of ash –no offense). I’m an oceanographer and a one-of-these-days-I-will blogger; but, Frankly My Dear, the way you draw those words, with humor and passion all mixed together, is holding me back, tied to my reality.
Thanks for the entomology tip.
I don’t know if you like Douglas Adams, nor if you already have seen this video, but I think it’s appropriate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZG8HBuDjgc
The guy “sees” his surroundings very well, I think.
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Well it sounds like heaven, and it's definitely now on my list of places to
And who can't benefit from slowing down and
see. My gf used to go there surfing all the time, so that makes two peeps
who've told me it's awesome.
practicing a bit of gratitude?
[...] Thе Surefire Way tο Save Yourself frοm Mediocrity (Thаt Yου Already Know, … [...]
My duaghter wants to know how the heck you met Matthew here in Costa Rica? We arrived in Nica the day after he left a couple of years ago and now she finds out he was right here in Costa Rica. Wow. Glad you had a good visit here, we love it, except the earthquakes of course. Though that was a pretty amazing one that you got to share with us.
Keep writing love your stuff!
Pura Vida!
@Roblynn
Pura vida!!! Where are you living in Costa Rica?! Matthew was in town for a night and he went out to this bar that was called Coconuts at the time, right on the beach.
We live in San Rafael de Heredia. Central CR. We are more mountain folks than beach folk. Though we do spend lots of time at Manuel Antonio, favorite beach so far. My daughter really like the dreaded surf instructor so takes all her friends that come to visit to see him and take lessons from him
We also take our massage students there to do their practice massages on the beach, good times!
Travel has always been my drug of choice. I can see it is yours, too.
That might be the best way to put it, indeed.