Ash Ambirge, Author at The Middle Finger Project

Are You Selling The Wrong Thing?

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been guilty of making a list of “what’s included” that looks like this: Modules! PDFs! Videos! Audios of the Videos! Transcripts of the Audios of the Videos! Commentary on the transcripts of the Audios of the Videos! A revolutionary new—drum roll— Facebook Group! AND THERE’S MORE! Buy now and you’ll even get this Super Duper Industrial-Sized Egg Beater absolutely FREE!* Reel it in, Billy Mays. Nobody ever bought a bottle of Grey Goose because:

Mar 6, 2014

Get Yourself Some Enemies

Elementary school ruined everything. They tattooed horrible cliches onto our 8 year old hearts to “think big!” — “aim high!” — “walk with your head down in single file OR DIE” — — which probably explains New York City. While I know they REALLY wanted you to become an astronaut (or at least make sure you knew how to spell astronaut), I really want you to come back down to earth because every time you run off and “think big,”

Feb 27, 2014

Are You (Accidentally) Using Words That Are Triggering People to STOP LISTENING?

“Someday, I’m going to drop dead, and you’re not going to know how to cook squat.” She said it at least once a week. Maybe more. I’d always snubbed my nose at the kitchen; at the trout heads and ground beef balls, the fresh-picked parsley and the pasta fazool. She was always looking for opportunities to teach me how to cook so I didn’t “end up serving my future family that Spaghettio’s crap,” but I know now that what she

Feb 26, 2014

Are You Peeing In The Sea of Sameness?

I was disgusted. She was the 11th person to pass by trying to peddle the same exact selection of sunglasses that ten other people had peddled just seconds before. “Senorita?” she said, tapping me on the shoulder from behind my table once more. I ignored her once more. She circled around me in case I wasn’t hearing her. I forced myself to calmly keep eating my filet, eyes fixed straightforward, as if she were invisible. She tried once again to

Feb 19, 2014

Don’t Invent a Product Name. Engineer One.

It’s 4:30 in the morning and I’m boarding a plane to Nicaragua. Today’s tip should really be: Don’t board a plane before you having at least one successful hour being awake. It’s bad enough trying to successfully stumble to the bathroom in the middle of the night; try stumbling through a gigantic metal maze of impressively long human conveyor belts, lunatics with luggage, signs designed to be advanced brain teasers (if your gate is between 35-135, turn right, do a

Feb 14, 2014

STOP Giving Away Free Consults. I Beg You.

“Nobody ever paid top dollar for a cheap imitation. Don’t let somebody else’s business move dictate yours.” I wrote that in our TMF Facebook page yesterday. Here’s why: Keep in mind that the people you’re watching are winging their next move just as much as you. Yet, so many new business owners who are fighting tooth and claw to make a name for themselves online, in particular, are being quietly indoctrinated into a school of sameness by one or two

Feb 11, 2014

Just The Tip: Nobody Wants Your Free Goodies

Alright, it’s time we had a talk about your goodies. I’ve seen free goodies being offered all over the internet for year after (painful) year, and I really have to wonder: Are they honestly as good as Ciara’s? Kidding. We both know that’s impossible. Have you seen her abs? Regardless, if you’ve ever caught yourself writing, “Sign up for my newsletter and get this exciting combination of free goodies,” you should hide. I’m coming for you. Because yes, I AM

Feb 7, 2014

Why Screaming Won’t Get You Heard.

You know when you’re in a group of people… …and you start telling a story, and that one jerkoff starts talking over you, hollering at the waitress mid-sentence, or answering the phone, or by turning to say something to somebody else, and then all of the sudden you don’t really know if you’re suppose to keep telling the story, or pause and wait to tell the story, orrrrrrrrr ??? So in a blind social anxiety panic you don’t pause to

Jan 30, 2014

Hourly or Retainer OR….

» Cash flow challenged? » Do a bunch of work you won’t get paid for until you bill next month? » Burned in the past by clients who disappear & never actually pay the bill? No, this is actually not the opening to an infomercial, as much as I’d love to show up on my ex’s television screen at 3am. But it is a problem that a lot of creatives have. And so, a lot of creatives turn to the

Jan 23, 2014

You are not anyone’s only option. (…So now what?)

We made out for hours that night. College kids stepped clumsily around us, spilling their beer as much as their morals. It was an era of chunky blonde highlights and boot cut jeans, tanning beds and lacy little lingerie tops from Express. My favorite was champagne & cream colored. I had it on that night. Because, as any college girl knows, all it takes to get attention is a nice ass and, well, lacy little lingerie tops from Express. But

Jan 21, 2014

Author: Ash Ambirge