ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

Learn More >>

Why Screaming Won’t Get You Heard.

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

You know when you're in a group of people…

…and you start telling a story, and that one jerkoff starts talking over you, hollering at the waitress mid-sentence, or answering the phone, or by turning to say something to somebody else, and then all of the sudden you don't really know if you're suppose to keep telling the story, or pause and wait to tell the story, orrrrrrrrr ???

So in a blind social anxiety panic you don't pause to wait because you know if you wait .278 seconds longer, SOMEONE ELSE IS GOING TO BARGE RIGHT INTO THE STORYTELLING SPOTLIGHT, and your great story about the time you set your armpits on fire will blow away like an orphan in the night, so you keep telling the story that wasn't really even a great story to begin with, because now it's not about the story at all, but about VALIDATING YOURSELF AS A HUMAN BEING.

Fortunately there's always that one person who leans in with wide eyes like, “Don't worry, I'm listening.” Even though you both know nobody's really listening and you're both embarrassed by that fact, AND the fact that you're still talking, except now you're talking purely out of principle, and thanks to Hollywood's balding set of manners, you're forced to jump up and down begging to be heard like an ADHD third grader with a brand new My Little Pony backpack yelling, “Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!”

Well friends, this is how the internet works.

There's always going to be somebody talking over you, and you're always going to feel like you have to beg to get heard. And when that happens, I want you to keep this in mind:

There's a critical difference between the third grader
in leopard print jumping up and down to get heard,

versus

the woman in white who commands
the whole room merely by existing.  

That difference is poise. Elegance, self-assuredness, presence, and cool conviction. 

And the way you become the woman (or man?) in white?

Has nothing to do with who you are—

—but how you are.

Perception is everything.

And online, in a medium made up largely of words, every single one that you choose is telling a story.

Words are never just words.

Copy is never just “some copy.”

Just consider the difference between:

“Thank you for choosing us to work with you”

&

“Thank you for asking us to work with you.”

The difference is only one word. But in that one word? Lies a world of difference.

The former represents the third grader jumping up and down to get chosen.

The latter represents the woman in white who isn't worried about getting chosen, but choosing.

And in an online world of noisy tweets/emails/status updates/promotions/ads and yelling, the person who's got enough poise to act like they should be heard—

—is the one who does.

8,318

READS

25 Words That Will Make You Seem Bland, Useless, Stale, Dime-a-Dozen, Washed-Up and Otherwise Uninteresting, Unimportant and Not Worth Paying Attention To

If you want to stand out, feel fresh, appear interesting and get noticed… …then you’ve got to use language that stands out, feels fresh, is interesting and gets noticed. This is common sense, but of course, it’s easier said than done. It’s tempting to use the first words that come to your mind, but usually? Those […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

READ MORE >>

3,244

READS

How to Be Interesting As Hell On Paper

Agency. It was one of the first things my book editor said to me. “These parts need more agency.” And I obviously said: Like the CIA? And she said: Shoot me. And I said: Is that a CIA joke? So while furiously drinking wine and researching this new writing foe—agency—I had been delighted to discover […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

READ MORE >>

9,011

READS

Why Your Writing Sucks.

There’s a lot of horse shit going around the internet these days about “writing from the heart” and eliciting emotion in your readers/audience/customers/landlords. Okay, so not landlords. And you get it. You know it’s important. Because nobody wants to buy from a faceless mime. But what you don’t know is how to actually do it. […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

READ MORE >>

860

READS

Poets & Killers Get Rich

There are two groups of people: Poets & killers. The poets are running around with their heart placed firmly on their sleeve, hoping that if they do authentic work, it’ll sell itself. The killers, on the other hand, are running around selling everything, none of which is actually authentic, nor genuine, nor useful. (We call […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

READ MORE >>

3,159

READS

Clear vs Clever Copywriting is a Big, Fat, Bloated Myth (And a Scapegoat for Subpar Writers)

I’m a very dirty writer. Not Fifty Shades of Grey dirty, but dirty in the way that I put sentences, thoughts, ideas together. My process is wild. Sexy. Free. Undomesticated. And while I wish the reason were because I’m just such a clay-faced, crochet-bra-top-wearing, sun-worshipping bohemian soul (I am laughably not), rather, it’s because I […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet, Online Marketing

READ MORE >>

10,983

READS

A Dead Simple Way to Write a Creative Bio (Without Crying) (Or Wall Punching) (Awkward, You Guys)

Most people dread introducing themselves in general, but ask someone to introduce themselves in writing, and you’ve just added another unwelcome layer of pressure: Now you’ve got to WRITE WELL ON TOP OF IT. And, you know, say witty things. That you’re committing to paper. While being judged by everyone who reads it. Because isn’t […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

READ MORE >>

Exclusive VIP Access

Join The Middle Finger Project mafia—over 75,000+ disobedient humans strong—and as a welcome gift (which I promise won’t be a thug named Vinny), I’ll send you a top secret discount code for our best-selling courses, kits and workshops. Because #SOLIDARITY.

It’s free, and you’ll also get new posts every week, plus at least one GIF of Betty White for the win.

Privacy Policy Info Here