ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

Learn More >>

Just The Tip: Nobody Wants Your Free Goodies

In: Just The Tip,

Alright, it’s time we had a talk about your goodies.

I’ve seen free goodies being offered all over the internet for year after (painful) year, and I really have to wonder:

Are they honestly as good as Ciara’s?

Kidding. We both know that’s impossible. Have you seen her abs?

Regardless, if you’ve ever caught yourself writing, “Sign up for my newsletter and get this exciting combination of free goodies,” you should hide. I’m coming for you. Because yes, I AM the free goodie patrol. Ditto my other honorary favorite, “newsletter” and all the other words that are lazy marketing.

It’s not your fault. You’re using these words with the best of intentions. But throwing these kinds of around is dangerous.

Words aren’t content. They’re code.

And we all know that broken code leads to an error message. And in this case?

Your lack of cash flow IS the error message.

Nobody knows what a goodie is. “Free goodies” is not specific or compelling enough to make anyone click. Are you giving me a little baggie of candy? Is there candy corn? Twix? A couple of motherfucking Mars bars?

Here’s the bigger problem:

You might not know what “goodies” means, either, or you would have put whatever you’re offering into more clear terms.

As it stands, “free goodies” is a euphemism for, “I don’t have anything tangible to offer you beyond a sales pitch.” And we can smell it from 15,783 miles away. Approximately.

The other thing it might mean is, “I do have something tangible offer to you but I haven’t learned how to put it into words that you care about.” Which is okay, because you’re not suppose to know this stuff out of the gate. But it’s important you recognize where your swagger’s running little gimpy so we can fix it.

Knowing how to put something into an effective combination of words that gets you what you want is called copywriting. It’s what I do every single day for big brands to small new ones. 

And no matter who you are, it’s crucial to present concepts in new & exciting ways that are tangible and leave a lasting impression. You ENGINEER people’s thoughts. Their actions. Their perceptions. Copywriting is engineering. In that sense, it’s very much a science. But unlike science, which is easily repeatable, copywriting is unique because no word combination can be used twice to create the same effect. Imagine if every single blog post / tweet / sales page / Facebook update ever you wrote was always the exact same? I don’t think so. You might always have the same message, but you’ve got to present it in surprising new ways—over, and over and over. And that’s what makes copywriting an art.

Humans can now choose what to pay attention to. We must find a way to be chosen.

Good stories, passionately engineered messages, and creative content word code that makes a (thoughtful) statement is the only way to shun the sea of sameness we all roll our eyes at.

You don’t need another program, course or e-book full of “goodies” on how to start a business. You need to learn how to SEDUCE with business. Copywriter or not.

Because if you roll your eyes at this? They world will forever think you’re referencing Ciara’s abs, or worse, your own, and nobody should talk about their abs on the internet unless they’re Steve.

And even he doesn’t even offer up his goodies for free.

Enter your email address and I'll rummage around in my bag of tricks for JUST the thing.

Just The Tip: Don’t Invent a Product Name. Engineer One.

It’s 4:30 in the morning and I’m boarding a plane to Nicaragua. Today’s tip should really be: Don’t board a plane before you having at least one successful hour being awake. It’s bad enough trying to successfully stumble to the bathroom in the middle of the night; try stumbling through a gigantic metal maze of […]

In: Just The Tip,

READ MORE >>

THIS IS A PLACE WHERE YOU'LL ALWAYS BELONG.

Click here to tell me what *you* think + let your ideas be seen naked—and then sign your name on our wall of wonder.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

58 thoughts on "Just The Tip: Nobody Wants Your Free Goodies"

  1. So, I got rid of my goodies page. I re-read (like a thousand times) the no newsletter rule but everything I come up with (the no-newsletter formula) sounds corny to me. I have to make it look like I actually wrote it myself–a little fantastical and a little practical. Am I the ONLY one this doesn’t fit for!?? I wrote something like: “Sign up for my weekly dose of sparkling Goddess fabulousness so you’ll permanently escape the clutches of shlumptitude or__??? I don’t like it. Help, I’m putting my d**k on the table and re-launching (new and improved) services this week. Thanks.

  2. Yes, I have seen those abs and the movements those abs make possible are HOT! HOT! HOT! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp6W4aK1sbs

    I love how you point out that specific, measurable, tangible terms are HOT! HOT! HOT! when it comes to making offers – free or paid.

    One of my favorite examples of specificity used in offering up goodies is the Craiglist Non-Pussy Drummer’s legendary personal ad that L.A. Weekly made famous… http://www.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/2012/06/21/the-craigslist-non-pussy-drummer-is-a-phenomenon-but-is-he-real

    Gary Halbert’s personal ad is a classic example of offering up just the tip with crystal clarity . . . http://www.scribd.com/doc/155560334/123123123-Gary-Halbert-Personal-Ad

    Thank you Ash for reminding that vague, abstract, and blurry have no place in our advertising and marketing. This is a lesson I can’t be reminded of too often. 🙂