ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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Just The Tip: Nobody Wants Your Free Goodies

In: Starting an Online Business

Alright, it's time we had a talk about your goodies.

I've seen free goodies being offered all over the internet for year after (painful) year, and I really have to wonder:

Are they honestly as good as Ciara's?

Kidding. We both know that's impossible. Have you seen her abs?

Regardless, if you've ever caught yourself writing, “Sign up for my newsletter and get this exciting combination of free goodies,” you should hide. I'm coming for you. Because yes, I AM the free goodie patrol. Ditto my other honorary favorite, “newsletter” and all the other words that are lazy marketing.

It's not your fault. You're using these words with the best of intentions. But throwing these kinds of around is dangerous.

Words aren't content. They're code.

And we all know that broken code leads to an error message. And in this case?

Your lack of cash flow IS the error message.

Nobody knows what a goodie is. “Free goodies” is not specific or compelling enough to make anyone click. Are you giving me a little baggie of candy? Is there candy corn? Twix? A couple of motherfucking Mars bars?

Here's the bigger problem:

You might not know what “goodies” means, either, or you would have put whatever you're offering into more clear terms.

As it stands, “free goodies” is a euphemism for, “I don't have anything tangible to offer you beyond a sales pitch.” And we can smell it from 15,783 miles away. Approximately.

The other thing it might mean is, “I do have something tangible offer to you but I haven't learned how to put it into words that you care about.” Which is okay, because you're not suppose to know this stuff out of the gate. But it's important you recognize where your swagger's running little gimpy so we can fix it.

Knowing how to put something into an effective combination of words that gets you what you want is called copywriting. It's what I do every single day for big brands to small new ones. 

And no matter who you are, it's crucial to present concepts in new & exciting ways that are tangible and leave a lasting impression. You ENGINEER people's thoughts. Their actions. Their perceptions. Copywriting is engineering. In that sense, it's very much a science. But unlike science, which is easily repeatable, copywriting is unique because no word combination can be used twice to create the same effect. Imagine if every single blog post / tweet / sales page / Facebook update ever you wrote was always the exact same? I don't think so. You might always have the same message, but you've got to present it in surprising new ways—over, and over and over. And that's what makes copywriting an art.

Humans can now choose what to pay attention to. We must find a way to be chosen.

Good stories, passionately engineered messages, and creative content word code that makes a (thoughtful) statement is the only way to shun the sea of sameness we all roll our eyes at.

You don't need another program, course or e-book full of “goodies” on how to start a business. You need to learn how to SEDUCE with business. Copywriter or not.

Because if you roll your eyes at this? They world will forever think you're referencing Ciara's abs, or worse, your own, and nobody should talk about their abs on the internet unless they're Steve.

And even he doesn't even offer up his goodies for free.

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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