March 6, 2014
Raise your hand if you've ever been guilty of making a list of “what's included” that looks like this:
- Audios of the Videos!
- Transcripts of the Audios of the Videos!
- Commentary on the transcripts of the Audios of the Videos!
- A revolutionary new—drum roll— Facebook Group!
- AND THERE'S MORE! Buy now and you'll even get this Super Duper Industrial-Sized Egg Beater absolutely FREE!*
Reel it in, Billy Mays.
Nobody ever bought a bottle of Grey Goose because: The wheat is harvested in August, the vodka is filtered through copper, it's bottled with a cork, there's 750 ml of liquid, it's 40% alcohol by volume, at 80 proof, and you'll even get this bunch of flying fucking geese on the label. (As fantastic as that is.)
Facts & features bore people.
It's why you can't find a Grey Goose ingredients list if you tried.
And a thousand about the person who drinks it.
How can you sell your customer on himself?
*Farm fresh eggs not included.