ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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Sometimes Wonderful Can Still Be Heavy

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

love throwing sh*t out. Love, love, love, love, LOVE it. I throw out high heels and curtains, jewelry and fine china. (Okay so I don't actually throw it out. I donate it. But the point is, it's goneeeee.)

It isn't just the physical stuff: I'm also (creepily) good at throwing out old ideas, old identities, and old dreams. It's all holding me down. Even the nice stuff. Even the wonderful stuff.

Because sometimes wonderful can still be heavy.

I'm talking about careers. I'm talking about relationships. I'm talking about the greatest of intentions. We hate abandoning what we've invested. We spent money! We spent years! We spent time and energy and focus, and none of it can go to waste. But it's the sunk cost fallacy at its finest: you've already spent the money. You've already spent the time. And that can never change, no matter what you do next.

So what you do next should be independent.

Imagine taking a wrong turn in Topeka, Kansas and then deciding to keep going down that road—all the way to fucking Virginia—because you'd already covered the mileage? That's asinine, but it's what we do when we've gone to school for something (and therefore don't want to waste it), worked for a company for X amount of years (and therefore don't want to waste it), or even so much as spent $100 on a pair of heels we'll never wear again (and therefore don't want to waste it).

We keep driving in the wrong direction because we don't want anything to have been for naught. We don't want to feel like we made a bad decision, so we hang onto that decision and let it dictate all the rest of the things. Forever. And, uh, ever. Until you reach the coast and go, “Wait, I didn't want to be here! What am I doing?!” Because god forbid we lose an investment. But it's that same investment that's pushing you to do things that are making you unhappy—and that's what makes it a fallacy.

On the surface, losing often looks a whole hell of a lot like losinguntil you think about what you stand to gain.

Jun 25

2012

A Tearful Birthday

Jun 25, 2012

Yesterday was my birthday. I flew from Ecuador to Chile on Friday so I could spend my birthday with my best girl friends in the whole wide world. Sure enough, they surprised me in the airport with glittery welcome back posters, prompting me to scream like a hyena. I had no idea they were coming. […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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May 31

2016

“Ding, Ding, Ding! You Can Have Fun Now!”

May 31, 2016

I’m going to England tomorrow. By which I mean I’m stepping inside a long metal torpedo and sitting my fat ass down on some murky blue pleather for an exact distance of 5,429 miles across a cold, dreary ocean that always makes me wonder things I shouldn’t ever wonder. Like: Would I actually remain calm […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Oct 25

2018

Be Brave, Courageous, Interesting, Crazy, Difficult, Weird, and Downright Complicated. But Don’t You Ever Be Normal.

Oct 25, 2018

You know what’s fucked up? Normal. Normal is so fucked up. For example, it’s normal for expats to drink daily in Costa Rica. This is a terrible idea, and yet, because it’s done over and over again, it’s become normalized. NO ONE WILL GIVE YOU THE STINK EYE FOR SLUGGING A BEER AT 10AM, Y’ALL. […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Apr 30

2018

If You Feel Like a Big, Fat Imposter Who Doesn’t Deserve Anything and Worries About EVERYTHING, Read This. It’s a GOOD Thing.

Apr 30, 2018

I’m writing this from a place that could almost be mistaken for the Italian countryside, were I not surrounded by lizards and toucans and bullfrogs the size of a fucking dinosaur. Rather, I am high up in the hills of Central America overlooking the Costa Rican valley from my squishy, pancake lounger—it sort of reminds me of […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Oct 22

2013

You Think The Stakes Are High Now? Please.

Oct 22, 2013

I wonder about people. Specifically about the 50-something woman speaking softly at the table next to me, telling another woman how she desperately wants to go abroad—because, verbatim, it would be the opportunity of a lifetime—but… And her words trail off. JUST LIKE HER DREAMS. Kidding. Dramatic doesn’t look good on me. But, really. What […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Sep 7

2018

One Big, Sexy Question for Instant Clarification On: What the Hell Do I Want to Do With My Life?

Sep 7, 2018

I was reading something on the Internet yesterday that was praising this woman’s work, and I thought to myself: there’s such a difference between doing work and having work. (And yes, I italicized “such” in my mind.) To do work is to take on a task, whoever’s task it might be. To have work, though—work […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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May 29

2012

On My Red Hot, Sinfully Sexy Affair.

May 29, 2012

  I’m currently gnawing on a big, squishy, ripe red tomato. Right now. As I type this. I’m forking salty chunks into my mouth as I hope (but not pray–I’m pretty bad at that) that tomato seed juice doesn’t dribble all over my keyboard. Before my current lusty, red hot tomato affair, I was getting […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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