ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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“I Want to Do Something Else…But What?” Welcome To The Fucking Question That Everyone Is Asking Themselves.

In: Hate Your Job?

I have a dirty little hypothesis.

It’s about the discontent. The unrest. This global epidemic that’s happening behind closed doors of women wanting something else.

It’s why the LuLaRoe, the Advocare, the Younique.
It’s why books like Eat, Pray, Love became bestsellers.
It’s why we’re spending so much time on the Internet, too, and drinking eleventy billion bottles of wine with lunch. (NOT THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT, SAYS THE GIRL WHO JUST DRANK A PROSECCO AT THE AIRPORT BAR.)

It’s all in search of something else.

…but what? they ask.

And that is the question, indeed.

But, what? 

When you’ve got a entire population of women searching for something else, but not entirely sure what they’re searching for, the problem is not what they’re doing—it’s what they haven’t done. It’s an identity crisis in disguise as a career crisis. And I think it’s plaguing so many good women for one simple reason:

Everyone's taught to be a good wife, mother, sister and friend—but in taking on all of these roles, she never learns who she is.

And she’s lost. She’s so hopelessly lost. She’s lost inside herself, and she doesn’t know how to get back. Who was I before I became everything to everyone else?

And the answer might very well be devastating: she was no one. Because women aren’t giving themselves a chance to develop their own opinions, their own reasons, their own identities, before becoming endlessly entwined in someone else’s. With all the pressure to go to school and get married and buy the house and have babies, who has time?

Then boom.

One day ten, twenty, thirty years later you wake up and you have no idea what you even want, because you don’t know who you are. It’s like picking out a career—and an entire life–for a stranger in Secret Santa.

So when women come to me and they say, “I want to do something else…but what?” it occurs to me that this is not a career question: this is a personal development question.

How do you get to know yourself again—or maybe for the first time?

You do it the same way you get to know someone else: by doing things together.

Except this time, it’s a party of one. You take yourself out of the house. You experiment with new. You put yourself in awkward situations. You do get out there and do every goddamn thing you hate. And then you get out there and do every goddamn thing you think you like. And little by little, you gather data about who you are and what it all means. You become an intern of your own life. And you figure yourself out, clue by clue.

Because it's a scientific process as much as any other: you can’t get to know who you are without knowing how you’ll react. It’s the only evidence we have. Everything else is just wishful thinking.

So my dirty little hypothesis is this:

Instead of asking “what?” perhaps the real question we should be asking is “…who?”

There are so many lost little girls, out there, in the bodies of women.

Feb 13

2019

How to Start an Online Business When You Are Not an “Internet Person”—And Are Seriously Doubting That You Can Do This

So, the other day one of my best college girlfriends reached out and was all, “Ashhhhhhhhhh! I need your helpppppp! I’m trying to start an online business but I have no idea what I’m doing and you’re obviously the first person that I thought of, muahahaha.” (She. Is. Adorable. She’s been hand-painting wooden signs and […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Jun 1

2017

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait for No One

Here’s a principle I vehemently disagree with: Good things come to those who wait. You know who probably came up with that stylish piece of wisdom? Someone in a position of power, tasked with managing the masses and getting them to obey orders. You can hear a teacher saying that, can’t you? Now, there, little […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Oct 24

2017

Don’t Sell Your Soul—Sell Your SKILLS.

Everybody knows how to do something, and that includes you. And guess what? That means you can teach someone else. And whatever you can teach someone, you can sell to someone. …And I say that without a shred of snake oil. Knowledge is what makes our world go ‘round. Now, more than ever, you can […]

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Jul 8

2017

You Find Peace With Your Work Through Tension

It’s never as scary as it seems. Everything you’re worried about happening? Won’t. It might seem intimidating, the world—putting yourself out there, taking the chance, trying something new, going all in, showing up, asking for help, connecting with strangers, and, ultimately, gambling your ego and everything you know to be true. There will be a […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Apr 28

2017

Make Something That Matters

Things aren’t always what they seem. An email list full of 100,000 people is meaningless if only 100 of those people open the emails. Similarly, an email list of 100 people, with 100 of those people opening them, does mean something. Who is more successful? And who is doing something that actually matters?

In: Hate Your Job?

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Oct 17

2018

We Need You to Give Yourself the Job

Today I will drive twenty six miles on backroads, through crisp autumn air, past dairy farms and old Citgo stations, and up a giant hill to my alma mater, Blue Ridge High School, here in rural Pennsylvania. I’m speaking to a group of seniors. Hijacking their last class of the day as I hoist myself […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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