ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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“I Want to Do Something Else…But What?” Welcome To The Fucking Question That Everyone Is Asking Themselves.

In: Hate Your Job?

I have a dirty little hypothesis.

It’s about the discontent. The unrest. This global epidemic that’s happening behind closed doors of women wanting something else.

It’s why the LuLaRoe, the Advocare, the Younique.
It’s why books like Eat, Pray, Love became bestsellers.
It’s why we’re spending so much time on the Internet, too, and drinking eleventy billion bottles of wine with lunch. (NOT THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT, SAYS THE GIRL WHO JUST DRANK A PROSECCO AT THE AIRPORT BAR.)

It’s all in search of something else.

…but what? they ask.

And that is the question, indeed.

But, what? 

When you’ve got a entire population of women searching for something else, but not entirely sure what they’re searching for, the problem is not what they’re doing—it’s what they haven’t done. It’s an identity crisis in disguise as a career crisis. And I think it’s plaguing so many good women for one simple reason:

Everyone's taught to be a good wife, mother, sister and friend—but in taking on all of these roles, she never learns who she is.

And she’s lost. She’s so hopelessly lost. She’s lost inside herself, and she doesn’t know how to get back. Who was I before I became everything to everyone else?

And the answer might very well be devastating: she was no one. Because women aren’t giving themselves a chance to develop their own opinions, their own reasons, their own identities, before becoming endlessly entwined in someone else’s. With all the pressure to go to school and get married and buy the house and have babies, who has time?

Then boom.

One day ten, twenty, thirty years later you wake up and you have no idea what you even want, because you don’t know who you are. It’s like picking out a career—and an entire life–for a stranger in Secret Santa.

So when women come to me and they say, “I want to do something else…but what?” it occurs to me that this is not a career question: this is a personal development question.

How do you get to know yourself again—or maybe for the first time?

You do it the same way you get to know someone else: by doing things together.

Except this time, it’s a party of one. You take yourself out of the house. You experiment with new. You put yourself in awkward situations. You do get out there and do every goddamn thing you hate. And then you get out there and do every goddamn thing you think you like. And little by little, you gather data about who you are and what it all means. You become an intern of your own life. And you figure yourself out, clue by clue.

Because it's a scientific process as much as any other: you can’t get to know who you are without knowing how you’ll react. It’s the only evidence we have. Everything else is just wishful thinking.

So my dirty little hypothesis is this:

Instead of asking “what?” perhaps the real question we should be asking is “…who?”

There are so many lost little girls, out there, in the bodies of women.

Jun 14

2019

If You Ain’t Feelin’ Your Work Anymore: HONEY, BURN THAT ISH DOWN.

Jun 14, 2019

So, here’s an idea: making money is not courageous. Anybody can ring a bell for twenty years. “Look, ma—I’ve been standing over here ringing this bell for two entire decades—durh, durh, durh—and I finally got a sticker!” Making money is a relatively straightforward consequence of showing up to breathe in the right place. Cause and […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life, Hate Your Job?

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Jun 18

2017

Seek Pleasure, And You Will Have Found Your Work

Jun 18, 2017

Procrastination is not a symptom of something that’s wrong with you, your brain, or your level of commitment—it’s a clue. Something is wrong with it. The thing you’re doing—do you really want to be doing it? Does this actually give you joy, or have you roped yourself into yet another maze of obligations and onuses, […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Feb 18

2019

Dream Zappers, Thought Terrorists, and Why You Should Be Weary of Anyone Who Tells You “I’m Just Looking Out for You”

Feb 18, 2019

OKAY. I just have to say this before I freaking hurl a tray of freshly-baked carrot fries across the room. (What? They’re good. SPRINKLE THEM WITH SOME CUMIN.) So today at 8:32am I got a text from a friend—like, an actual, IRL friend—who is thinking about registering for B-School tomorrow (since she, like so many […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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May 1

2013

Here’s an Opportunity – TAKE IT

May 1, 2013

I’ve got a theory. Don’t tell anyone, because if they take it to heart, they might get even better at this business thing, and then what’s going to happen is that one year from now, you’ll somehow find yourself eating red velvet cupcakes at their book signing instead of your own, except you won’t just be […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Dec 1

2017

“I Want to Do Something Else…But What?” Welcome To The Fucking Question That Everyone Is Asking Themselves.

Dec 1, 2017

I have a dirty little hypothesis. It’s about the discontent. The unrest. This global epidemic that’s happening behind closed doors of women wanting something else. It’s why the LuLaRoe, the Advocare, the Younique. It’s why books like Eat, Pray, Love became bestsellers. It’s why we’re spending so much time on the Internet, too, and drinking […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Jul 8

2017

You Find Peace With Your Work Through Tension

Jul 8, 2017

It’s never as scary as it seems. Everything you’re worried about happening? Won’t. It might seem intimidating, the world—putting yourself out there, taking the chance, trying something new, going all in, showing up, asking for help, connecting with strangers, and, ultimately, gambling your ego and everything you know to be true. There will be a […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Oct 24

2017

Don’t Sell Your Soul—Sell Your SKILLS.

Oct 24, 2017

Everybody knows how to do something, and that includes you. And guess what? That means you can teach someone else. And whatever you can teach someone, you can sell to someone. …And I say that without a shred of snake oil. Knowledge is what makes our world go ‘round. Now, more than ever, you can […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Jul 1

2017

I Became an Entrepreneur Because My Life Stopped Being Fun

Jul 1, 2017

I’m in the airport, on my way to London. London is officially my favorite city in the world because it’s the one place where I don’t feel like an overdressed moron. (Try going anywhere in Costa Rica with even so much as kitten heels and YOU WILL LOOK RIDICULOUS.) I’ll be there all summer, excited […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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