ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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It’s About Being a Survivor, and a Warrior, and a God Damn Modern-Day Gladiator

In: Hate Your Job?

“That woman I’m always talking about on the Internet—she’s coming to England!”

This was (ever so flatteringly) what Client #5, the last client we have the privilege of working with here in London, told us she said to her father as she raced down the stairs in a small town in the north, the moment the announcement was made.

“But, it’s expensive,” she told him sheepishly.

“Go,” he said to her. “If this will help you get your business to the next level, go.”

And so incredibly began our conversation, last night, as we greeted Client #5 in the restaurant, meeting her for the first time.

“So, what’s our yearly revenue goal, madam?” I said to her over a cocktail, shortly thereafter. “Let’s start with the money, and then we’ll work backward.”

She named a number, but it wasn’t the number that was surprising—it was her reason.

“I’d like to move my family to the next town over, where the neighborhood is a little nicer, but the homes cost double. I’m also on a mission to find a way to pay for my four-year-old niece to go to a good private school—education isn’t very good, where I’m from, and I desperately want her to have a fighting chance.”

And, of course, it was then that I decided that I was giving up everything, moving to the North of England, and MAKING IT MY LIFE’S WORK TO MAKE THIS GIRL A MILLIONAIRE. Because this is what it’s all about, you guys. Fuck the Internet. Fuck social media. Fuck all of those morons telling you how to get rich quick with their shiny webinar pitches. This is about real life, and real consequences, and about genuinely helping people defy their every odd and prevail. It’s about being a survivor, and a warrior, and a god damn modern-day gladiator. And it’s about creating your own bloody opportunity, in this life, instead of waiting to be given it.

Today we begin her photoshoot.
Tomorrow, we talk strategy.
And by the time she arrives back home on Monday, she’ll be ready for battle.

And I hope she goes to him, her father. And I hope she looks him in the eye. And I hope he says to her, “well?” And I hope, with all my heart, that she looks back at him and replies, not with kind words about me, that woman on the Internet, but with kind words about herself—the woman that he raised. The woman that is going to change things. The woman who is driven and sharp and clever and talented, who’s more self-assured and confident than ever.

Because when you’ve got a purpose, in life, it’s not about the revenue goal at all—it’s about what that revenue means.

And I wonder, sometimes, if maybe the rest of us forgot.

Oct 24

2017

Don’t Sell Your Soul—Sell Your SKILLS.

Oct 24, 2017

Everybody knows how to do something, and that includes you. And guess what? That means you can teach someone else. And whatever you can teach someone, you can sell to someone. …And I say that without a shred of snake oil. Knowledge is what makes our world go ‘round. Now, more than ever, you can […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Aug 6

2019

“I Don’t Know What I Want to Dooooo, And I’m Kinda Confused, and I’m Feeling Like a Flakey Little Fruitcake, Ash!”

Aug 6, 2019

WITTY BANTER. Biggest turn-on ever. (Because we’re just opening with that, okay?) Like, I don’t even care if you’re wearing coveralls and haven’t shaved in forty-nine years: if you’re witty, I’m going to want to jump your bones. Which I won’t do, ahem, given that I’m in a relationship and all, but this is a hypothetical […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Apr 28

2017

Make Something That Matters

Apr 28, 2017

Things aren’t always what they seem. An email list full of 100,000 people is meaningless if only 100 of those people open the emails. Similarly, an email list of 100 people, with 100 of those people opening them, does mean something. Who is more successful? And who is doing something that actually matters?

In: Hate Your Job?

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Jun 1

2017

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait for No One

Jun 1, 2017

Here’s a principle I vehemently disagree with: Good things come to those who wait. You know who probably came up with that stylish piece of wisdom? Someone in a position of power, tasked with managing the masses and getting them to obey orders. You can hear a teacher saying that, can’t you? Now, there, little […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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May 1

2013

Here’s an Opportunity – TAKE IT

May 1, 2013

I’ve got a theory. Don’t tell anyone, because if they take it to heart, they might get even better at this business thing, and then what’s going to happen is that one year from now, you’ll somehow find yourself eating red velvet cupcakes at their book signing instead of your own, except you won’t just be […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Jul 1

2017

I Became an Entrepreneur Because My Life Stopped Being Fun

Jul 1, 2017

I’m in the airport, on my way to London. London is officially my favorite city in the world because it’s the one place where I don’t feel like an overdressed moron. (Try going anywhere in Costa Rica with even so much as kitten heels and YOU WILL LOOK RIDICULOUS.) I’ll be there all summer, excited […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Jun 14

2019

If You Ain’t Feelin’ Your Work Anymore: HONEY, BURN THAT ISH DOWN.

Jun 14, 2019

So, here’s an idea: making money is not courageous. Anybody can ring a bell for twenty years. “Look, ma—I’ve been standing over here ringing this bell for two entire decades—durh, durh, durh—and I finally got a sticker!” Making money is a relatively straightforward consequence of showing up to breathe in the right place. Cause and […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life, Hate Your Job?

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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But no serial killers. I promise I won’t send those.

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