ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MISSION STATEMENTS. (Really?)

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

The other day I saw a Twitter bio that said something to the effect of:

We craft effective solutions for your design needs.

And I wanted to kill myself. Like, just up and off myself on the spot. This old-school, “mission statement-esque” language has no place in a modern context.

Effective is already the expectation.
Solutions are why everyone’s in business.
And what are my “needs,” anyway?

You’re talking but you’re saying nothing.

We need you to be human.

Don’t tell us your mission statement—stand up and make one.

Jul 15

2014

No, I Don’t Want to Be in Your Tribe.

“No, I don’t want to be in your tribe. I’m not your minion, and I’m not a cow.” -@ateegarden on Twitter. The internet popularized the concept of “finding your tribe,” and while Seth Godin’s book by the same name is right on the money, the term itself has become cliché, stale, trite, boiler plate, and fucking offensive. …As […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

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Feb 15

2013

25 Words That Will Make You Seem Bland, Useless, Stale, Dime-a-Dozen, Washed-Up and Otherwise Uninteresting, Unimportant and Not Worth Paying Attention To

If you want to stand out, feel fresh, appear interesting and get noticed… …then you’ve got to use language that stands out, feels fresh, is interesting and gets noticed. This is common sense, but of course, it’s easier said than done. It’s tempting to use the first words that come to your mind, but usually? Those […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

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May 31

2013

Why Your Writing Sucks.

There’s a lot of horse shit going around the internet these days about “writing from the heart” and eliciting emotion in your readers/audience/customers/landlords. Okay, so not landlords. And you get it. You know it’s important. Because nobody wants to buy from a faceless mime. But what you don’t know is how to actually do it. […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

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Mar 4

2016

How to Stop Writing With a Stick Up Your Ass

One of the things I get asked about forty hundred times a day (besides whether or not I know there’s a hair sprouting from my chin) is this: Where’s the line between personality and unprofessional? Because apparently I’m known for walking the line between mental inspiration and mental institution—as every writer worth their weight should. […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

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