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Anytime You Question Yourself, Promise Yourself Better Answers.

In: Finding Your Voice

You ever do that thing where you're about to start that business, write that book, ask for that advance, release that product, pitch that service, or maybe just tell your boyfriend you want to try anal…and then you hesitate? Flinch? Get nervous? Worried? Scared that the response is going to be something like, “WHAT ARE YOU, OUT OF YOUR MIND? HOW DARE YOU? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”

(For the record, after a few Chardonnays I happen to think I'm a god damn pro billiards player.)

(Also for the record, I am very, very much not.)

Why is it we always imagine the worst? The criticisms and the crickets? The pointing and the snickers behind your back?

While I don't have a ready made solution (cut off your head and never think about it again!), I do have a helpful tip:

Write yourself a long, gushy, heart-laden, hot red love letter. (And include an F-bomb for good measure.)

…from your future client, reader or human who's going to obsessively love your work. Let's assume the best. Let's assume that whatever you're doing, you're going to change that person's life forever. You're going to be the person they remember for starting it all. You're going to be THE ONE.

What would they write to you? What would they say? What words would they use?

Every time you start to self-doubt, refer back to the letter. Every time you forget why you're doing any of this horseshit, refer back to the letter. Anytime you're pissed off and hate everyone, refer back to the letter.

Not only will it help your head stay on straight, it'll give you something to aim toward, as well. Seth Godin writes about this technique here, and it's helped me a lot over the years.

Because we all question ourselves sometimes.

But I can tell you this: The difference between someone who makes it, and someone who doesn't?

Isn't the questions they ask.

…It's the answers they believe.

Dec 28


Forget Your Manners.

Dec 28, 2012

It’s polite to: …fulfill your obligations. …answer them back right away. …nod in agreement. …go with the flow. …do as you’re asked. …drink because they are. …take their call. …give your undivided attention. …fill the silence. …and always be there when they need you. Then again, no one’s ever done anything remarkable by always being […]

In: Finding Your Voice


Dec 30


On Becoming Unfuckwithable

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Unfuckwithable. If you’re contemplating themes for the New Year, I highly recommend borrowing this one. Rolls right off the tongue and deep dives directly into your ovaries. But more importantly? We need this. We need this because there are always going to be days—weeks, months, years—where everything feels hard. There are always going to be […]

In: Finding Your Voice


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The Greatest Form of Suffering of All: Inaction

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Once upon a time, I was feeling stuck. If my suspicions are correct, many of you reading this might feel the same way right now. You can’t get motivated. You aren’t excited about anything. You’re tired all of the time. Lifeless. Indifferent. Apathetic. You’ve stopped caring—about yourself, about your goals, about the things you used […]

In: Finding Your Voice


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You (Still) Don’t Need a Job.

Nov 11, 2010

MYTH: You think to yourself:  “You are no Chris Guillebeau; you should just go find a job.” –Fear expressed from an actual reader email If you’ve fallen into the trap of thinking you aren’t interesting enough, not smart enough, not savvy enough, not fill-in-the-blank enough, you’re, first, wrong, and second, ignorant of the way the […]

In: Finding Your Voice


Nov 22


There’s No Such Thing As An Idea That *Isn’t* Offensive

Nov 22, 2017

You know what I’m grateful for? Fucking. NOT LIKE THAT, SICKO. Although, I mean, I guess…wait. Let me start again. I like the word fucking because it’s representative of something so much bigger than that, which is the real thing I’m grateful for: freedom of expression. Remember that cute little First Amendment? It says that the […]

In: Finding Your Voice


Feb 14


24 Ways to Love Yourself Fiercely + Bravely—Even When You’re Feeling Like a Heaping Hot Mess

Feb 14, 2018

Loving yourself means: The courage to reject their opinion. A kind, but firm: “This is what I want.” Remembering to be a mother to yourself, every single day. Asking more questions: What do I really crave? Does this make sense for me, personally? Does this feel heavy or light (or fucking dreadful?). Asking fewer questions: […]

In: Finding Your Voice


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