You Wanna Be a Killer? Ask Yourself This Question Every Single Day
May 17, 2017
Alright, hotshot— so what are you going to do today to change it?
*looks you dead in the eye*
I’m Ash & I’ve been writing this column since 2009 to tens of thousands of people around the globe all about giving the finger to societal expectations (and probably your conservative Aunt Sarah). If you’re feeling stuck, enter your email and I’ll send you my newest, direct to your inbox. No zombies, promise.
A no-nonsense look at the education system’s hidden agenda–why we’re being taught what to think, instead of how to think, and how this affects not only us, but the bigger picture at hand. Put on your thinking caps for this one. (P.S. Please don’t egg my house if this makes you angry.)
A few years ago, there was this tacky term that made everybody cringe but also made everybody drool with wonder: lifestyle design. (Okay, fine, it was like ten years ago and I’m officially ancient.) The term always annoyed me, because it was widely represented by a bunch of twenty-something hopefuls traveling the world with their […]
Before I explain the origins of this remarkable photo, I’m pretty sure we should think up some awesome captions together. I’ll go first. Anything but Donkey Kong! Too many boobs! Stop tickling me, Rudolph! Father Time eats his first pot brownie. Protesting razors since 1000 B.C. Don’t ask me why I have the need to […]
I love Christmas. I’m a sucker for the jingle bells and little white lights, which I shamelessly string EVERYWHERE. What’s that, a bathroom vent? Must! Have! Lights! My mom and I used to make these “Italian Christmas Cookies,” which I’m pretty sure was not the official name, but since we had the recipe scrawled across […]
It’s hilarious, really. You spent the first twenty years of your life worrying what the f*ck you were suppose to do on this planet—with your ONE BIG PRECIOUS LIFE that every other Pinterest poster won’t shut up about—only to spend the next twenty years wondering if you did it right. Because, did you? Was this […]
So this past week, I took a motherfucking vacation. And do you know what? I’m going to take vacations all the time! It’s been decided! Vacations are just way too great to not take! Why aren’t people vacationing all the time? I hereby declare every last week of the month vacation week. Not only do […]
Yesterday was my birthday. I flew from Ecuador to Chile on Friday so I could spend my birthday with my best girl friends in the whole wide world. Sure enough, they surprised me in the airport with glittery welcome back posters, prompting me to scream like a hyena. I had no idea they were coming. […]
Darling – I just wanted to send out a dirty little love note telling you that YOUR WORK IS HOT. YOU ARE HOT. AND YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO GET HOTTER. Blind faith is sexy. Get some. BE SOMEBODY. Love and a Tuesday slap on the ass, Ash
I watched the movie AWOL last night, and the truth is, it was just an average movie. But I was fascinated by it. I was fascinated by it because the movie is set in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, where I grew up, and everything from the trailer to working at the ice cream stand was the spitting […]
I’ll admit it–I’m a tad embarrassed. I can’t decide if I’m embarrassed in light of the nonchalant display of nudity that is currently lounging alongside of me–quite proudly, and with reason, if I do say so myself–on this clothing optional beach, or if I’m embarrassed for another reason–perhaps at my own relative prudishness, something that […]
26 Reasons Humans Are Doomed: Pet Peeve Edition Those heathens who stand on the left side of the escalator. What are we, savages? What the fuck is airplane mode? Socially illiterate jack offs who don’t pick up on the verbal cue that I WANT TO GET OFF THE PHONE. Unauthorized double dippers. Forms that make […]
In preparation for my upcoming trip to Costa Rica, Panama & Colombia, I spent $258.92 at Zara Chile yesterday. I walked out with three new pairs of daisy dukes that I will inevitably think look better on me than they actually do, as well as a ripped up white-washed jean skirt, and a top or […]
Just kidding. No one calls her an “irreverent asshole.” Just a plain asshole, but only when she is writing about things that make large swaths of people feel uncomfortable.
Which is…often. It’s called “The Middle Finger Project” for a reason—and that’s because we can afford to live better lives than we are.
Ash’s weekly column is designed to encourage critical thinking about society & our role in it, and what it really means to live a life you love. Hint: if you’re dying to embark on this grand, daring adventure, then taking the trash cans back and forth to the end of the driveway for the rest of eternity is prooobably not going to cut it.
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