ASH AMBIRGE

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Sometimes, Being Difficult Is an Act of Devotion

In: Finding Your Voice

Nobody wants to “be difficult.”

Those words have stigma tattooed right across their rear. Just hearing them makes you think of that psycho in line at the grocery store, berating the cashier for not accepting her expired coupon. (She’s also wearing Uggs, for the record, and DEFINITELY has a soggy cigarette hanging out of her mouth.)

But the older I get, the more I am convinced that there is superficial difficult, like that—difficult for the sake of being difficult—but also important difficult, like the kind where you insist on something that matters.

Sometimes, being difficult is an act of devotion.

Sometimes, making waves is the only way you'll end up making anything at all.

Dec 12

2017

To The People Who Keep Asking Me When I’m Having a Baby

“When are you having a baby?” “You’d be a great mom.” “You’ll regret it later if you don’t.” “You HAVE to have kids!” …and I used to think people were pushy about making me try seafood. Though the decision not to have children actually reminds me of that: people are really convinced you’re making a […]

3,063 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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Apr 5

2012

Fuck Plan B. You’re on the A Team.

His name is Oskar. He’s Rastafarian. I met him when I first came to Costa Rica in 2004 and watched him trying to sell his paintings day after day on the beach, sweating, struggling to speak English to the tourists who passed by, working from dusk until the wee hours of the night to make […]

2,761 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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Jun 19

2017

I Wrote This For The Ones Who Care What They Might Think

“Oh, but they’re going to say ________________________.” That I’m not really as smart as I think I am.That I think I’m better than them, now.That I’m putting on a show. Good news: you can stop micro-managing all the thoughts that don’t belong to you, darling.  Their thoughts belong to them, just like their children do. You […]

484 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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Sep 15

2015

Plan On Being Nervous, Brilliantly

Being nervous sucks. Your pulse races. Your brain blanks. Your hands shake like little assholes. You tell yourself to take deep breaths, but the minute you do, you then worry that the entire room can see the fact that your heart is, in fact, doing the electric slide up and down your rib cage. (God […]

1,466 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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Jun 28

2010

Do You Have The Guts?

I can vividly recall the first time I wrote a resume. I typed away on our clunky, jumbo HP desktop, silently muttering words that shouldn’t appear in any resume each time autoformat would sneakily attempt to take over my painstakingly-created bulleted list of achievements. To this day, autoformat and I remain sworn enemies–and with reason, […]

4,066 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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Sep 30

2010

Defiance or Defeat? You Pick.

Sometimes, the shit hits the fan. Sometimes, you find yourself living out of your car, storing all of your toiletries in an oversize red purse, lodging sweatshirts in between head rests and sunroof panels to block the windows so you can sleep, explaining to unsympathetic credit card companies that you can’t pay your $41 minimum […]

2,013 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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May 27

2014

Do You Have Chickenshititis?

I have a friend named Melissa. (Yes, I have friends.) Melissa doesn’t have a job. She spent her twenties and thirties working for other people as a professional headhunter–(am I obligated to make a Headless Horseman joke here?)–before finally going back to school to pursue an advanced certification in Human Resources. And then she waited. And she […]

1,977 READS
In: Finding Your Voice


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