ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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Stop. Just Stop. Stop the Overdelivering, Overcommitting, Overworking, Overexertion. Because Overwhelm? We’re Over YOU.

In: Feeling Disillusioned With Life

You’ll let people down, okay?

It’s part of it. You can’t avoid it. It is actually, physically impossible for you to be everywhere and do everything and be everything to everyone with a plate of fucking cookies in your hand.  (BUT NICE TRY, THOUGH.)

Doing one thing that matters to you *requires you* to stop doing many things that matter to someone else. Just like you’ve only got so much space in your stomach at every meal, you’ve only got so much bandwidth in your brain. So who are you going to pick? Them, or you?

That sounds cynical and hostile and war-like and antithetical to all of the woo woo warm cozy lovey dovey advice on the Internet (gag), but I prefer to call it real. Logistics has never been my strong suit (HI I’M A CREATIVE), but that just means that I’ve had to work harder than most to get good at it. And one thing that’s abundantly apparent to me, as an outsider to all that is coordination utopia, is that we’re all trying to stuff so goddamn much onto our plates and our schedules and our lives—and it isn’t working.

And you know what happens? Not only are you going to feel like a gigantic, disorganized, flaky hot mess, but everything you try to do is going to suffer. By trying to be everything to everyone we inadvertently end up showing up like a used bag of dicks and then what good are we? It’s like trying to write a book that’s a masterpiece, but instead of sitting down and writing it, we actually start writing one little paragraph of everybody else’s books, first—here’s one for you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you. CAN YOU IMAGINE? How soon do you think your own work in this world is going to get realized? And how much are you willing to bet it’s going to be, um, less than brilliant?

Stop doing things on autopilot. Stop obligating yourself more than anyone deserves. Stop being at the beck and call of every ding, tweet, message and whim. And in fact, make a stop doing list…and then stop.

Don’t those words feel good?

…and then stop.

This is what self care looks like.

But it’s also what hustle looks like, if you’re looking closely.

364

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Pleasure Doesn’t Need an Appointment

In the mornings, I let myself linger underneath the covers, twisting the full, fluffy comforter up and around my face, letting my feet dance in the cotton. It feels so good, to slide your soles through the cool material—almost sinful. When I shower, I surrender to the warmth of the water, letting it caress my […]

In: Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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What to Do When Your Work TAKES OVER YOUR ENTIRE LIFE—and You Need to Get Some Friggin’ Boundaries, Up In This Joint

I have a little ritual called Eucalyptus Spearmint. I’ve got it in body lotion, and in spray, and in candle (obviously), and I’ll put my little feet up on the ottoman in the living room (okay, fine, they’re big, entirely undainty feet), and I’ll slowly, and tenderly, give myself the best fucking foot massage this […]

In: Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Read This if You’re an Impatient, Demanding, Self-Critical Tart Who Gets Mad at Herself When Things, You Know, Actually Take TIME

What gets measured, gets managed has got to be the most annoying piece of business advice ever. (Right next to “create epic content,” “follow your passion,” and “don’t fart too loud when the mic is on,” of course.) Coming from a background in PR, I’ve always hurled silent insults at the whole “what gets measured, gets […]

In: Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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637

READS

Sometimes You Fall Into Things. You Fall Into People, Fall Into Places, Fall Into Patterns, Fall Into Deep Dark Obsessions With Red Velvet Cake. (AHEM.) 

The other day I tweeted about how I watched The Notebook and so CLEARLY I was living my best life. And then I started thinking about how much I love that phrase, because it’s a good reminder, isn’t it? Am I really living my best life? What does that even mean? Sometimes you fall into things. You fall into people, fall into […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Listen: Do What You Crave Without the Guilt. Travel to Italy. Enroll in That Workshop. Make Your Art Every Afternoon. And Hurl Yourself Into the Unknown—For This Is The Best ROI That Money Can Buy.

My almost-mother-in-law gets really fucking nervous when I travel—especially when I bomb off to South America for a month by myself to drink ALL THE WINE and celebrate ALL THE BOOK DEALS. But she doesn’t get worried in the typical way a mother might; not the way my own mother would have been worried, which would […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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