ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

Learn More >>

Stop. Just Stop. Stop the Overdelivering, Overcommitting, Overworking, Overexertion. Because Overwhelm? We’re Over YOU.

In: Feeling Disillusioned With Life

You’ll let people down, okay?

It’s part of it. You can’t avoid it. It is actually, physically impossible for you to be everywhere and do everything and be everything to everyone with a plate of fucking cookies in your hand.  (BUT NICE TRY, THOUGH.)

Doing one thing that matters to you *requires you* to stop doing many things that matter to someone else. Just like you’ve only got so much space in your stomach at every meal, you’ve only got so much bandwidth in your brain. So who are you going to pick? Them, or you?

That sounds cynical and hostile and war-like and antithetical to all of the woo woo warm cozy lovey dovey advice on the Internet (gag), but I prefer to call it real. Logistics has never been my strong suit (HI I’M A CREATIVE), but that just means that I’ve had to work harder than most to get good at it. And one thing that’s abundantly apparent to me, as an outsider to all that is coordination utopia, is that we’re all trying to stuff so goddamn much onto our plates and our schedules and our lives—and it isn’t working.

And you know what happens? Not only are you going to feel like a gigantic, disorganized, flaky hot mess, but everything you try to do is going to suffer. By trying to be everything to everyone we inadvertently end up showing up like a used bag of dicks and then what good are we? It’s like trying to write a book that’s a masterpiece, but instead of sitting down and writing it, we actually start writing one little paragraph of everybody else’s books, first—here’s one for you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you. CAN YOU IMAGINE? How soon do you think your own work in this world is going to get realized? And how much are you willing to bet it’s going to be, um, less than brilliant?

Stop doing things on autopilot. Stop obligating yourself more than anyone deserves. Stop being at the beck and call of every ding, tweet, message and whim. And in fact, make a stop doing list…and then stop.

Don’t those words feel good?

…and then stop.

This is what self care looks like.

But it’s also what hustle looks like, if you’re looking closely.

Apr 30

2018

If You Feel Like a Big, Fat Imposter Who Doesn’t Deserve Anything and Worries About EVERYTHING, Read This. It’s a GOOD Thing.

Apr 30, 2018

I’m writing this from a place that could almost be mistaken for the Italian countryside, were I not surrounded by lizards and toucans and bullfrogs the size of a fucking dinosaur. Rather, I am high up in the hills of Central America overlooking the Costa Rican valley from my squishy, pancake lounger—it sort of reminds me of […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

READ ME >>

Oct 25

2018

Be Brave, Courageous, Interesting, Crazy, Difficult, Weird, and Downright Complicated. But Don’t You Ever Be Normal.

Oct 25, 2018

You know what’s fucked up? Normal. Normal is so fucked up. For example, it’s normal for expats to drink daily in Costa Rica. This is a terrible idea, and yet, because it’s done over and over again, it’s become normalized. NO ONE WILL GIVE YOU THE STINK EYE FOR SLUGGING A BEER AT 10AM, Y’ALL. […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

READ ME >>

May 18

2017

When You Feel Like a Hot Mess Full of Walking Contradictions and WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT IS YOUR LIFE?

May 18, 2017

You don’t have to choose, you know. You can be intelligent…and sensual. Extroverted…and introverted. Complex…and simple. You…and someone who’s evolving into someone else. Sometimes, in an effort to finally define who the fuck we are, we start putting ourselves into the little boxes voluntarily—the same ones that we spent our earlier years trying to escape. […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

READ ME >>

Jun 22

2018

Sometimes You Fall Into Things. You Fall Into People, Fall Into Places, Fall Into Patterns, Fall Into Deep Dark Obsessions With Red Velvet Cake. (AHEM.) 

Jun 22, 2018

The other day I tweeted about how I watched The Notebook and so CLEARLY I was living my best life. And then I started thinking about how much I love that phrase, because it’s a good reminder, isn’t it? Am I really living my best life? What does that even mean? Sometimes you fall into things. You fall into people, fall into […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

READ ME >>

Jun 9

2017

The World Isn’t Your Mommy

Jun 9, 2017

You know what’s crazy? There’s not actually a team of people assigned to your life, sitting around monitoring your blood work, and your bank accounts, and the health of your relationships, jotting down notes, circling areas of concern. There’s no supervisor. No one checking your progress. No one setting quarterly reviews. As a result, we […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

READ ME >>

I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

Enter your email address and I’ll send you my advice column every week sharing everything I’ve learned—and so much more.

But no serial killers. I promise I won’t send those.

Privacy Policy Info Here