ASH AMBIRGE

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What To Do When You Hate Your Life: An Interview I Gave: Featuring My Man Voice

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

Hi, it's me.

I'm drinking wine. (Shooocccckkkkeeeer!)

I'm also listening to my sweet, sweet man voice in an interview I recently gave that addresses that big, fucking looming question we're all wandering around asking ourselves: Is this it?

What do you do when that question pops up?

What do you do when it's not what it's cracked up to be?

What do you do when you feel like a big, naked butthead of an orangutan?

(Officially the only place on all of this website where I have ever written the word butthead.)

(I don't even like that fucking word.)

Dare you to listen to it.

It's free.

Your mom?

Love and a slap on the ass,

That girl with the purple teeth who you either hate or love but can't figure out why.

Jun 22

2018

Sometimes You Fall Into Things. You Fall Into People, Fall Into Places, Fall Into Patterns, Fall Into Deep Dark Obsessions With Red Velvet Cake. (AHEM.) 

Jun 22, 2018

The other day I tweeted about how I watched The Notebook and so CLEARLY I was living my best life. And then I started thinking about how much I love that phrase, because it’s a good reminder, isn’t it? Am I really living my best life? What does that even mean? Sometimes you fall into things. You fall into people, fall into […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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May 3

2018

Listen: Do What You Crave Without the Guilt. Travel to Italy. Enroll in That Workshop. Make Your Art Every Afternoon. And Hurl Yourself Into the Unknown—For This Is The Best ROI That Money Can Buy.

May 3, 2018

My almost-mother-in-law gets really fucking nervous when I travel—especially when I bomb off to South America for a month by myself to drink ALL THE WINE and celebrate ALL THE BOOK DEALS. But she doesn’t get worried in the typical way a mother might; not the way my own mother would have been worried, which would […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Oct 23

2012

How to Be a Human.

Oct 23, 2012

I sat in a plaza yesterday, behind La Moneda–Chile’s version of The White House. Diagonal paths come from all directions and meet up in the center, before darting off in opposite directions. People walk gruffly, generally ignoring one another–cell phones, busy faces, stern looks, fast paces. And just like in plazas everyday across the world… […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Mar 9

2017

There’s No Such Thing as The Committee of True & Actual Greatness™

Mar 9, 2017

You know what’s the absolute worst? Waiting in line at the doctor’s office. There’s a lot of anxiety around that, am I right? Nobody likes waiting at the doctor’s office because we all secretly think that the doctor’s just sitting behind a closed door somewhere, doing wheelies in an office chair, watching the minutes churn […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Dec 20

2012

Always Do. You’ll Be Glad You Did.

Dec 20, 2012

If you walked in the door right now, I don’t know if I’d run and hug you hard, or if you’d seem like a stranger now. I’d like to think that I’d hug you. I’d like to think that I’d bury my face into your chest and you’d smell like your old cologne–which kind, I […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Jun 25

2012

A Tearful Birthday

Jun 25, 2012

Yesterday was my birthday. I flew from Ecuador to Chile on Friday so I could spend my birthday with my best girl friends in the whole wide world. Sure enough, they surprised me in the airport with glittery welcome back posters, prompting me to scream like a hyena. I had no idea they were coming. […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Aug 31

2010

Slugs, Angel Hair Pasta & Vespas, Or, The One Thing That DOES Define You In This Life

Aug 31, 2010

So, I’m sitting in the bar at this restaurant. I’m lovingly twirling my fork into a steamy, lemony, buttery, most delightfully angelic heap of angel hair–the creamy, makes-you-throw-your-head-back-with-glee kind of pasta that, I was thinking, should probably be forbidden for nuns, because, I swear, this pasta is far more decadent than the best sex you […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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