ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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The Art of Business Rebellion

In: Online Marketing

So, the other day I ask The Chilean to stop at the store on his way over and pick up some chicken.

He gets here, plops down this bag, and proceeds to pull out a whole chicken, gripping it by the legs and asking me where I want him to put it.  The conversation that followed went as such:

Me: What do you think this is, Thanksgiving?

Him: What are you talking about?

Me: That's a whole chicken!  Do you know how long that'll take to cook?  Do you know that I don't even know how to cook that thing?

Him: You asked me to pick up a chicken.

Me: No–no–I did not ask you to pick up a chicken. I asked you to pick up chicken.  You know–like the boneless, skinless kind that you put in the pan, douse it in something that has the word “garlic” on it, and hope for the best?

Him: Ohhhhh, that.  Well, buying it whole is a lot cheaper.

Me: Oh, I see.  So just because it would be a lot cheaper to ride my bike to China–even though it will take me exponentially longer than flying–that means I should?

And so went our friendly, chicken-blood-soaked banter.  While it's true that the whole chicken may have been cheaper, it also happens to take a lot longer to prepare.  And frankly, I didn't want to spend my romantic evening hanging out by the oven.  As I watched him gut the thing, throwing slime all over my sink, I tapped my foot impatiently thinking about how nice it would be if we were drinking a nice glass of wine and talking during the few hours we had together, instead of him juggling organs around on my counter.  Because, if he had gotten the boneless, skinless, it would have been in the pan already.

And that comes back to a very entrepreneurial mindset–to me, my time is worth paying the extra money.

To have been able to spend my time that night the way I wanted to, whether or not I had to spend an extra few bucks on the chicken, would have been worth it.  And that's only one example that's presented itself recently.

But how I spend my personal time isn't the point; the point is how this applies to business, and how we aren't doing ourselves any favors by working more in order to save ourselves some money, when our time is very, very limited.

In business, you've only got so many hours in the day.  And maybe, you don't even want to work all of the available hours in the day.

So if that's the case, then it means that we don't need to work longer hours; it means we've got to work smarter hours.

The most common mistake I see is new entrepreneurs or small business owners spending a lot of time doing things THAT THEY THINK THEY'RE SUPPOSE TO BE DOING, without ever assessing the real return on their investment. They just do it because that's what everyone does, right?

Stop trying to fit the mold.

The mold is useless if just a lot of people think it provides value, without it actually providing any value.  The standard isn't always the standard because it's good; sometimes, the standard is what it is, simply because no one has ever bothered to challenge it before.

And mediocre standards based on complacency isn't what you want to be making your business decisions around.

Be the person who challenges the standard.  Be the person who raises it.

Don't waste your time doing things that are done out of tradition only.  Do things that will have the most impact on your business in the shortest amount of time–whether they're traditional or not.  And, in some cases, whether you've got to spend an extra few bucks.

If it saves you time, and you think the impact is there, it's worth it.

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2011

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Nov 30

2011

Seduce Me And I’m Yours. Your Customer, That Is.

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So, I’m a huge salsa fan. The love affair began nearly 10 years ago, when I first traveled to Costa Rica on an exchange program. His name was Alejandro, and he was the first boy to ever ask for my hand on the dance floor. He was golden tan with dark blue eyes, and long […]

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Jan 18

2013

Butt Paste–And How It’ll Help You Market Yourself Better.

Jan 18, 2013

Last night, I bought three tubes of something called Butt Paste.  You’re probably thinking the same thing that the 19 year old male cashier was. Try making that transaction with a straight face. But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, after all. And this girl is headed to The Bahamas tomorrow with […]

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You know how when you go to talk about something you’re selling (a class, a product, an idea…) and you’re all, “BUT HOW DO I EXPLAIN THAT?” (Cue brainstorm hangover.) Things are always so much easier to understand in your head, aren’t they? After all, YOU know what you’re selling. YOU know how great it […]

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Jan 20

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I’m a very dirty writer. Not Fifty Shades of Grey dirty, but dirty in the way that I put sentences, thoughts, ideas together. My process is wild. Sexy. Free. Undomesticated. And while I wish the reason were because I’m just such a clay-faced, crochet-bra-top-wearing, sun-worshipping bohemian soul (I am laughably not), rather, it’s because I […]

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Sep 27

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So, I’ve got a proposition for you. Unfortunately, it does not involve fishnets, vodka, or smeared black eye makeup, and while we’re at it, I should mention it definitely doesn’t involve any of this bleepity bleep bleep bullshit either. Nor will it ever, unless, well…there’s pretty much no exceptions. Though I am rather fond of the idea […]

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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