ASH AMBIRGE

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There’s No Such Thing As An Idea That *Isn’t* Offensive

In: Finding Your Voice

You know what I'm grateful for? Fucking.

NOT LIKE THAT, SICKO.

Although, I mean, I guess…wait.

Let me start again. I like the word fucking because it’s representative of something so much bigger than that, which is the real thing I’m grateful for: freedom of expression.

Remember that cute little First Amendment? It says that the government can’t forbid us from saying and writing what we like and we can actually EXPRESS OUR OWN IDEAS. Novel, right?

Which is why it’s disheartening that so many of us don’t. That we’re petrified of being judged. That we’re intimidated by everyone else’s ideas. That we hide behind little curtains of convention, scared to rock the boat, draw attention to ourselves, or say something offensive.

There's no such thing as an idea that isn’t offensive.

EVERY new idea is, by default, offensive to another before it. It's different by its very definition. It’s supposed to stand contrary to something. Otherwise it wouldn’t be an idea—it would be a regurgitation.

You aren’t a parrot; you’re a person.

Perhaps “me, too” is the real offense worth considering.

Oct 29

2015

“I don’t feel confident in my work.”

Are you squinting your eyes at the screen trying to decide if this describes you or not? (Of course you are, you’re probably reading this on an iPhone the size of my elbow.) It’s kind of an ugly characterization—nobody wants to admit to feeling less than confident in what you’re doing. And yet, I’ve got […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Jun 8

2017

A Tiger Doesn’t Ask Permission of the Gazelles to Sprint

Stop giving a shit about the stats. So you don’t have any subscribers? Who cares—you don’t need subscribers to put your best work out into the world. You don’t even need a website. Just start. Surprise—I’ve had a few thousand people unsubscribe since I started doing daily emails. Guess what? I’m doing it, anyway, full […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Dec 12

2017

To The People Who Keep Asking Me When I’m Having a Baby

“When are you having a baby?” “You’d be a great mom.” “You’ll regret it later if you don’t.” “You HAVE to have kids!” …and I used to think people were pushy about making me try seafood. Though the decision not to have children actually reminds me of that: people are really convinced you’re making a […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Sep 1

2017

The World’s Funniest Fucking Soaps, Uh, Ever

You should know that I have officially discovered THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER BEEN MADE (after Cards Against Humanity, of course) and I had to share with you because I don’t keep anything from you (except for that one thing) and because we could all use some inspiration and also because CAN WE JUST LIGHTEN […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Jun 2

2015

When You’re Scrappy, You Don’t Give a Sh*t

I like the term scrappy. I’ve always pictured some femme fatale bobbing and weaving and diving and contorting herself into any number of ways to get the one and only job done that she’s there to do: Win. It reminds me of my favorite Will Smith quote (oh, you don’t have a favorite Will Smith quote?) “The […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Aug 25

2017

The Competition Doesn’t Have Sh*t On You

There’s never been a person who went to school for accounting and said: BUT WAIT, I CAN’T BECOME AN ACCOUNTANT BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE ALREADY DOINGGGGG THATTTTTTTTTTT. There are plenty of people out there doing exactly what you want to do—times eleventy thousand. “But there are already so many writers / designers / candlestick makers” […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Jun 28

2010

Do You Have The Guts?

I can vividly recall the first time I wrote a resume. I typed away on our clunky, jumbo HP desktop, silently muttering words that shouldn’t appear in any resume each time autoformat would sneakily attempt to take over my painstakingly-created bulleted list of achievements. To this day, autoformat and I remain sworn enemies–and with reason, […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Aug 12

2017

A Note of Support for All My Dreamers Getting Their Ideas Pooh-Poohed By Their Family, Their Friends, Their Spouses, and Their Neighbors (Fucking Neighbors, Am I Right?)

In the year 2010, friends would call and say: “So, how’s your blooooooooggggggg?” The tone was obvious: How’s your cute little imaginary friend that you think is going to save you from the real world that the rest of us have to suffer through? The year 2011, I made $103,000 with that blog—a far cry […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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