ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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The Definitive, Step-By-Step Guide to Getting Off Your Butt, Finding Some Focus, And Jump-Starting Your Biz…So You Can Stop Feeling Like an Procrastinating Asshole (And Start Making Some Cashola)

In: Online Marketing

Sometimes I make bad decisions.

The time I decided to consume alcohol while on a date while ON CRUTCHES  was one of those times. (Thanks for not even trying to catch me as my metal crutches went flying, Bob, you scumbag.)

But then there are other times, when my decision-making skills operate at peak performance.

Like the time I went on a man-vacation, and vowed not to date for a year, so I could focus entirely on me and my biz. (Effective, ahem, immediately.) Or…that other time when I spent an afternoon hanging out with some homeless dudes in Philadelphia, telling stories and being human together. (Highly recommended. Especially for those needing to dismount the high horses they were born atop of.)

Yet, I have to say, possibly one of the best decisions I've made this year was in asking you to answer some questions for me.-

I learned so, so much about you. Things like:

  1. You're scared shitless. Welcome to the world of entrepreneurship!
  2. You're aching for a tangible, step-by-step, system or program to take you by the hand and guide you through the process of brainstorming business ideas, knowing how to judge feasibility, coming up with a distinct plan of action, and then walking you through that plan of action–with lots and lots of templates. But you don't know where to start. Or you don't seem to have enough time. Or you're feeling overwhelmed. Or you're scared that you'll pick the wrong thing. Or you think you can't do something that's already been done. Or you falsely believe that you need a bunch of capital to get started. Or you worry you won't be good enough. Or you have no idea what the hell you can even sell. And did I mention that you just don't have enough hours in the day? Sound like you? (If not, see #3)
  3. On the other hand, the rest of you might have had some success in getting your biz off the ground, but now you're having big problems getting clients. Or you have clients, but they aren't paying you what you're worth. Or you can't seem to convert people from “loving” your work to BUYING your work. Or you're starting to lose steam + motivation. Or you just have no fucking clue how to market yourself and get the phone ringing. Or, you're exhausted from trading hours for money, and you're looking for ways that you can automate a portion of your income through product creation–and in a way that's creative and doesn't make you feel like a sell-out, or in any way be the same old, same old, overplayed BS. Sound like you?
  4. You can't decide if I'm a genius, or a train wreck waiting to happen. We'll assume the former, of course.

Did I hit the nail on the head? Does any of the above sound like the problems/challenges/struggles you're facing?

So there you are. You're not alone. And that's comforting, right?

Have a nice day. Don't murder any small children. And remember that milk does not do a body good – all it does is clog it up with a bunch of slimy mucus.

That is all.

Jul 6

2017

We Don’t Sell Those

Jul 6, 2017

There is a rose company, here in the UK, that doesn’t give a fuck that they don’t sell daisies. It’s delightfully refreshing, in fact. There are no apologies about it; no wishy washiness; no trying to cover all the bases. Just this base is fine, thanks. Notice the quiet confidence it exudes? I’m also betting […]

In: Online Marketing

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Jan 23

2012

Sales Tip of The Year: Don’t Masturbate.

Jan 23, 2012

So since I’m in the United States for a hot minute, I have recently acquired a smart phone. I have three things to say about this:– Apparently, I’m better at coding HTML than I am at texting. Considering I have no fucking idea how to code HTML, you can imagine what kind of interesting text […]

In: Online Marketing

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Oct 17

2011

Cut The Fat.

Oct 17, 2011

Cut the fat. Give yourself the white space you need in order to grow. And… …pursue what you’re really here to pursue. Hint: It’s probably the one thing on your to-do list that doesn’t have any guidelines, instructions, paths to follow or tried and true ways of doing it. And that’s exactly why you’re procrastinating […]

In: Online Marketing

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Oct 16

2017

She Wrote the Book On It

Oct 16, 2017

At my retreat in the Cotswolds, this past summer, I gave everyone salmon-colored Kate Spade notebooks that read on the cover: She wrote the book on it. It’s a theme I teach and live and breathe and bleed. Everyone’s always asking, “How do you market yourself? How do you get people to notice you?” (For […]

In: Online Marketing

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Jan 10

2012

The Day The Cash Register Became Obsolete (WTF?)

Jan 10, 2012

Note:  This post contains adult language. It’s so adult, you might swear you’ve just been transported to a seedy, smoke-laced Las Vegas strip club filled with large Italian men. The good news is that you haven’t. The bad news is that somebody let me have my own blog. And…so we begin. What I want to […]

In: Online Marketing

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Jan 27

2015

You Can’t Sell Tickets to The Titanic if You’re Marketing it as a Rowboat

Jan 27, 2015

Like it or not, people do judge a book by its cover. And that cover happens to include the words on the front. There’s a palpable difference between the words, “hire me” versus “engagement fees.” There’s also a difference between “buy now” and “apply now.” (Even though those “apply now” snobs drive me insane.) And there’s a difference between, “Cost: […]

In: Online Marketing

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Sep 27

2011

Ditch The Blankie, Grab A Set of Balls + Get Your Life Back on Track

Sep 27, 2011

So, I’ve got a proposition for you. Unfortunately, it does not involve fishnets, vodka, or smeared black eye makeup, and while we’re at it, I should mention it definitely doesn’t involve any of this bleepity bleep bleep bullshit either. Nor will it ever, unless, well…there’s pretty much no exceptions. Though I am rather fond of the idea […]

In: Online Marketing

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Nov 19

2015

What if My Customers Aren’t All the Same? How Do I Appeal to Multiple Targets? It’s called Positioning (And for Once I’m Not Talking About the Kama Sutra)

Nov 19, 2015

SELLING YOUR STUFF TO OTHER HUMANS IS HARD. (Caps required.) It’s hard for a number of reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is because nobody really knows what to say. We’re all filled with a million different ugly little self-doubts floating around our nervous little brains. What should the headline say? Do I emphasize […]

In: Online Marketing

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

Enter your email address and I’ll send you my advice column every week sharing everything I’ve learned—and so much more.

But no serial killers. I promise I won’t send those.

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