HI, IT’S ME, AND IT’S FRIDAY, AND I’M VERY EXCITEDDDDD.
First off, our brand new flagship fuck yeah website launches next week. (We’ve been working on this behind the scenes for an entire year!) JUNE!!!!!!!!! THE MONTH OF CHAMPIONNNSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S GOING TO BE HUGEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! (Please imagine me saying that like a forty-five year old balding man advertising a blowout sale at a furniture warehouse.)
On that note, I tweeted this the other day:
Which is all to say that:
(a) I’ve ruined everything with this email.
(b) Apparently lots of other people have exclamation issues, too.
(c) Are we following each other on Twitter yet?!
Now then, the other reason I’m excited is because I just ordered a new microphone—in anticipation for something BIG we’ll be doing in the month of June to celebrate the new launch—and I thought that I should take the opportunity to let you know that I’ve hilariously been trying to order this microphone for months, but you know why I didn’t?
A heaping dose of decision paralysis.
I mean, Jesus Christ, Blue Mic, how many mics do you sell that look and do the exact same thing with the sole purpose of sending me into an existential tail spin? First world problems, I know, but it reminded me of something I’ve been wanting to mention to you here, which is that too many choices makes people angsty. You do not need fifty different options on your sales page. You do not need eleventy billion different products. You do not need five hundred colors and styles.
When it's hard for people to pick, the first thing they do is ditch.
I thought we could use some good, old-fashioned Dr. Seuss, so let’s all put that in our pipes and smoke it. More importantly, however, ***people don’t buy what they don’t understand.*** And giving them too many options makes it exceedingly difficult for them to understand which one is the best option for them.
Fortunately, when we launch the new site, you’ll be getting a really swanky email from me that asks you to choose just one of three options as to how we’re going to proceed next. Sort of like a choose your own adventure, Middle Finger Project style—isn’t this just getting more and more fun?
If you’re in for an even bigger, even better, even more inspirational / motivational / eye-opening / helpful-as-hell / balls to the wall adventure with me—never seen before?
It’s show time, baby.
And we’re just getting started.*
*As soon as the god damn mic gets here.