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Rebellion is Sexy: One Really Big Reason Why You Should Do It Now

Cold Lasagna Is A Personality Trait

I am eating my lasagna cold. Ice cold, as a matter of fact. The cheese is not warm and gooey, the roof of my mouth rests easy knowing it mustn’t guard against impending second degree burns, and my mind does not drift off, like usual, to ponder just how much that flight to Italy would actually cost and whether or not I would be attracted to men in tight pants.

Well, maybe it does. But just for a second.

At first glance, the mere fact that I’m eating cold lasagna appears entirely trivial.

However, if you’ve ever dug into a hearty meat sauce lasagna that suddenly springs a surprise piece of sausage on you, you’re well aware that this can be one cunning little dish.

You see, the fact that I’m eating cold lasagna is, in all actuality, more revealing than anything anyone could ever glean about me from a face-to-face meeting. It says more about me than my hairstyle, my outfit, my choice of words or the way I sometime snort when I laugh really hard. (Stop it, it’s endearing.)

As I stand in the kitchen, clumsily scooping the frigid 3 x 3 square onto my plate, licking any remnants of ricotta from the spoon, I look down at it. I look the lasagna right in its top layer, and think, “I could heat you in the microwave, you delicious little slab of pasta you. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll heat you for 1 minute and 30 seconds, and wait in eager anticipation for the all-too-familiar ding that signals the start of most American family meals.”

But as I trudge toward the microwave, I stop. Other thoughts rapidly invade my brain, faster than you can say Pinochet:

“I wonder what this tastes like cold.”

“Why doesn’t anyone ever eat lasagna cold?”

“Why doesn’t anyone ever eat anything cold?”

“Do high temperatures necessarily equate to better taste?”

“Maybe, just maybe, lasagna tastes better cold.”

“Hmmmm.”

“Well, I don’t suppose I’ll know unless I try.”

And with that I grab the salt shaker.

Apparently, My Hygiene Is Questionable

To answer the most pressing question, yes that was an epic fail: Lasagna definitely tastes better hot. But I mention it because lately I’ve noticed this sneaky form of rebellion craftily weaving its way into my life, manifesting itself as things other than processed flour.

For example, just last week I found myself actually contemplating whether or not there might be some alternative to brushing one’s teeth.  Yup, no kidding.

“Isn’t there a better way to do this, or do I really have to do this twice a day, every day, for the rest of my life?”

Yes, I did actually ponder that, but don’t worry — I’m still Crest fully clean. But what frightens me is this: Not only did I ponder that, but I even noticed a developing yearn in the back of my head to deliberately skip brushing my teeth right then and there and go to bed without doing so…just for the sheer thrill of it.

Thrill?! Yes, thrill.

I know, it’s a bit insane. And dirty. But I couldn’t help but think that the nature of brushing one’s teeth on a daily schedule from now until the day your heart stops beating is actually a bit daunting – and as much as I enjoy clean mouths in general, I’m now finding myself with a strange urge to rebel against these tiresome little life obligations. It seems as if anything that requires routine is suddenly a target. I am shifty. I am restless. I require constant mental stimulation. And I hate being obligated into mental passivity.

And when I am?

I act out. I rebel.

The toothbrush example is inconsequential in the big picture; such small, recurring instances have begged a far more important question to be addressed, one that’s been clanging around loudly in my brain the last few days:

Is it the case that we rebel against something because we truly do not like it,
or do we secretly rebel for the thrill of rebellion itself?

Rebellion Is The Preferred Behavior ‘Round Hurr

If extended beyond the age old question of to heat or not to heat, to more meaningful aspects of our lives, such as whether it’s prudent to leaving one’s job in favor of a more fulfilling lifestyle, I’d argue that it’s a combination of both. Rebelling against something in the name of a preferred alternative is certainly warranted, but I would also argue that rebelling against something for rebellion’s sake, or the thrill that accompanies it, holds unsuspecting merit despite its futile appearance.

Here’s why: The act of rebelling against certain societal assumptions, expectations and demands, for example, is the product of critical thought. And it’s only by thinking critically about everything we do, are we able to reach a higher level of consciousness, free ourselves from the confines of group thought, and thrust ourselves forward.

I do not believe that many of the things we are taught to do in life are done because they’re the best way to do them. I believe that they are done because they are popular. What makes them popular is another matter: Sometimes it may be because something is effective, but more often than not, it might simply be because something is easier.

Case in point: 9-5 is much more popular than entrepreneurialism. It is easier to go to work for someone else from 9-5 everyday and do what you’re told, than it is to think critically about something that might make you happier, and then put in the time and effort to go and get it; however, it’s likely not the most effective means of creating an income or finding self-fulfillment.

Side note: This isn’t to say that there aren’t people out there who are fulfilled by working 9-5 and doing what they’re told; there are. But the fact of the matter is, however, that there are plenty of people who aren’t, but are doing it anyway for lack of direction’s sake. It is this group that I speak to, and I want to make that clear because I’ve received a number of private messages questioning my purpose as of late.

This scenario points to a butt-naked truth: As a whole, we would rather be comfortable, than fulfilled.

(Did I just go from lasagna to nudity? Why yes, yes I did.)

Here’s what I hope you take from this post

Think critically about everything.  Just because everyone else is doing it, does not, by any means, mean that you should, or have to. Determine your path based on what makes the most sense to you. And whatever you do, do not let your voice get drowned out by the voices of others when it comes to your life. It’s yours for a reason.  Do something with it.

On a personal level, I am continually assessing the value of everything that I do. I’ve noticed that many of the things that either other people ask me to do, both directly and indirectly through set expectations, or things that I’ve simply been doing out of habit are, in effect, absolutely pointless. Many of these things are simply not effective in terms of time management or skill management or happiness management, and more often than not, there would be absolutely zero long term effects if a given task weren’t carried out. And, if that’s the case, then why spend the energy doing it? Why not dedicate my best and brightest brain cells to doing something that will have a lasting impact? And why don’t you?

Ambirge Update-o-Life

That said, I wanted to take this opportunity to give you all a quick update on my upcoming plans. This Tuesday, I’ll be leaving for San Jose, Costa Rica, and will be spending some time in Central America, reading, writing and consuming copious amounts of sugar cane-based alcohol. This will not affect my regular posting schedule, but may influence my Twitter activity and ability to respond to comments as quickly as I have in the past, so I ask for your patience with that. But I will respond!

I’m looking forward to creating some great content for you while there.

In addition, you can expect a killer guest post this upcoming week from Andrew MacPherson, author of both Rules Optional (http://www.rulesoptional.com) and Sail to Trail (http://www.sailtotrail.com) that I’m confident you’ll enjoy, if not obsess over. Andrew lives on a sailboat (jerk), is one of the world’s best and brightest ass-kickers, and is sarcastic as hell to top it all off.

Yes, he actually does live on a sailboat.

With that, here’s to best wishes for a wonderful holiday, everyone! Cheers to a 2010 full of excitement! Egg nog, anyone?


If you liked that jazz. . .check out some of these:

Filed Under: Lifestyle Design

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About the Author: Ashley Ambirge is the sarcastic, brash, hot-sauce-addicted founder of The Middle Finger Project, where she gives the evil eye to mediocrity, while inspiring readers to flip a cordial bird to the shoulds, and live how they want. Whiskey shots strictly optional.

  • I love being a rebel. Because of this I've caused a lot of my former bosses grief. A few years ago I worked in a call center. A friend of mine who worked at my company used to act silly on the phone with me while the customers were on hold. Well... one call he asked me to speak to the customer in a German accent when she came on the line. So I did. Well.. the next day ALL of the supervisors and my manager decided to listen to a few calls... and guess which call they ended up listening to? Yep! So the following day, my supervisor asks me to go the office with him and another supervisor. Then I had to listen to that whole call with them. That was awkward. It was REALLY difficult for me to hold back from laughing.

    I told my mom this story, when she visited me last weekend and she says I need to "grow up". Forget that! This year I'm starting to see an increase in income from my stand up comedy and writing. Realistically, I should be able to quit working "9-5" jobs later this year. Until then, I'm going to continue to give corporate America the middle finger!
  • TMFproject
    Oh, man! Classic! Good to see you were, at least, having fun. ;) Sounds like something I might do.
  • Brian W.
    Ash, you're on quite a tear. ¡Dales mis saludos a David, Damaris, Gustavo y Wilmar!
  • lindsey
    i don't match my socks. i haven't for more than 6 years. it's a waste of my life and i've got other things to do!
  • TMFproject
    Love it! I often wear white running socks with my boots - even though technically I "should" be wearing some kind of high sock. But who really cares?????
  • Brian W.
    Try standing on the roof of your car in a parking lot sometime. Or facing the wrong way in the elevator. Some bystanders seriously can't process it. It's great for perspective.

    Though the cold lasagna thing ... I think I could have seen that coming.
  • TMFproject
    I'm going to do it and take pictures of myself to post. Great idea. Good exercise. I was walking with a friend in NYC recently, and happened to say out loud, " I wonder what would happen if you just dropped and started doing push-ups right here in the middle of this busy sidewalk?" Sure enough, he dropped. But I was highly disappointed to find that there wasn't the least of a reaction!
  • Brian W.
    You'll get great pictures, but I think you're going to be disappointed with the reactions. I find in most situations, most people pretend you're not there, just like your pushup friend. They're worried that you're crazy, or that if they make eye contact that you'll try to sell them something, or that they'll be late to their next whatever. You may end up making a friend or two on accident, but that seems to happen to you anyway whether or not you're perched atop automobiles.

    On that note, I think sidewalk salesmanship has the effect of gradually making people less friendly. Whenever people only seem to approach strangers when they have a profit motive, it must lead to shutting out chance interactions in the long run. Like in Metro Center in DC - I know any random person that says hi is 95% likely to try to get me to pledge money to something or other, or to give them a quarter.
  • Or you could just be incredibly lazy...but I doubt it. Your hilarious and no one as hilarious as that could be that lazy...I don't think....or could they?

    Well I suppose if....actually I can't be bothered to think. I am indeed that lazy.
  • TMFproject
    Of course there's always THAT. Shoot, Jonny, I was hoping no one would call me out on that. Leave it to another hilarious blogger to see through me. ;)
  • jen
    Great message in this post and I just loved the fact that on top of the excellent content I now have images of cold lasagne, naked butts and much more...there is not many people that could pull that off with such style Ash! :)

    I think you're right - a lot of the things we do in life, are not necessarily the easiest way to do them, just the established ways and it's our job to follow our hearts not the herd! :)
  • TMFproject
    "Follow our hearts, not the herd!"

    More people should seriously consider having that tattooed on their butt.
  • If you question what you are doing, then the outcome, no matter what it is and even if it outwardly appears to involve conforming to the norm, doesn't matter. I'd say that someone working a 9-5 who has examined their life, their goals, why they make certain decisions and then ultimately come to the conclusion that a 9-5 is what they want, leads a fuller life than any lifestyle designer who is blindly following the path of their friends.

    And if it wasn't for the benefits of rebelling for rebellions sake, I wouldn't be wearing a sarong out in public as much as I do! CR get ready...she's on her way!
  • TMFproject
    Key word! Examination. Damn you, Socrates, you were right again: "The unexamined life is not worth living." Now we get it!

    P.S.
    I wore a sarong on the beach today & thought of you!
  • I'm constantly questioning things and I totally agree that rebelling is really about critical thinking. People think there has to be a certain way to do things and it's never questioned. I run into this all the time at work and I constantly question people. 'Why do we have to do it this way?' 'Does it make sense?' I'm sure it's annoying to some, but it drives me nuts that people think we all have to be lemmings, mindlessly following each other to who knows where.
  • TMFproject
    "mindlessly following each other to who knows where."

    The implication of that statement says it all: No one has got the right answer.

    Some may think that doing all of this questioning is pointless--why bother? But I'd argue that even if the questioning does not lead to a change, in your work example, you are receiving the benefit of evolving as a human being and learning to live a life of awareness.....AKA alive! After all, who doesn't want to be alive? The alternative is to not question anything and just mindlessly accept things as they are...letting life essentially happen to you.
  • kathy
    what's that bumper sticker say? Ah yes...."Question Authority." From your post it seems it should say "Question Everything!"
    have a fabulistic time in costa rica!! can't wait to read about your adventures!
    REBEL ON SISTA!!
  • TMFproject
    Hmmm....perhaps I'll have to start getting these things printed over at CafePress!!! :) Costa Rica is good - this is my 8th time here, so when I come to town I've got a welcome parade....great fun! It's very warm here, but quite enjoyable. Looking forward to doing some traveling into Panama and Nicaragua!
  • Der Ash-meister:

    Oh yeah. It's the "just say no" thing. I'm reading the 4 hour work week right now and one of the exercises in the current chapter has to do with taking back your life and your precious time by just saying no. He suggests that for three days, say NO to every request. Every one. At work, at home, whatever. It sounds like fun, and at the same time it scares the dog turds outta me. You see, I'm a conformist.

    Oh God! There! I've said it!

    I'm a conformist! Can you ever forgive me? Do you still love me?

    George
  • TMFproject
    Ha, George my love for you will never wane, despite your conformist tendencies. ;)

    Personally I love the idea of just saying no to requests, and I'd recommend it to anyone. While it feels uncomfortable at first--oftentimes guilt-laden--after a few times it starts to feel incredibly liberating. It reminds us that we are in control of our lives; not everyone who decides to ask us for this, that or the other thing.

    Rock on!!! (And do it. Are you going to do it? Please say yes.)
  • I have been approaching nearly everything in my life the same way as that lasagna situation for the last few months and it's been fun! It really does make you realize how pointless 90% of the crap that we all do is. I'm drinking my daily green tea right now, and just 5 minutes ago I read a "review" of the tea I'm drinking that basically made it sound horrible. My first instinct was, "Oh no! Why am I drinking such low-class tea?" But then I though, what the hell, I like it and think it tastes delicious. Just a dumb little example of not giving in. Here's to rebellion against tea connoisseurs (definitely had to Google that word to find out how to spell it). Oh yeah, and have fun in Costa Rica.
  • TMFproject
    I agree. For example, I was at a wedding the other day and started thinking, "Why does everyone get married in the same fashion?" It's the same scenario - church, reception, fancy centerpieces. No one ever stops to question whether or not the have to drop X amount of dollars to do that; it seems to just be expected. And that's cool if that's what the couple really wants...but I bet there are a lot of people out there who would really rather not, but are just doing it because that's what you're suppose to do. Now, I do understand that this is a tradition, but the question becomes: Are traditions traditions because they offer some benefit, or is a tradition just a tradition because? I think we know the answer to that. Cheers to challenging everything, including your tea! :)
  • Did you know that in Africa people use a variety of special wigs and types of wood to clean their teeth? http://www.dzimba.com/index.php/a-twig-a-daythe...

    Rebellion is sexy. Rebellion is high risk (perceived at least) high reward behaviour. It's being a 'Diversity Generator' (Howard Bloom). It says: Mate with me because I'm confident enough to go out and try to kill a humongous Wooly Mammoth (start a business, become a rock-star, travel the world).

    Yes, a lot of people are living like automatons, not only that though. Most people are full of shit. Fact.
  • TMFproject
    Neil - You never ever should have attached that link, because now here I am debating how awesome it would be to tell people I brush my teeth with a twig. I'm not even kidding. AWESOME article - thanks for the link! I knew there had to be alternatives :) Hell, maybe if I were chewing on a twig all day, it'd serve as a weight control product as welll...haha...no room for snacking!

    What you said about rebellion being sexy seems to be spot on - interesting the modern day influences of evolution. I'm wondering if this is largely psychological speculation, or if there is something we can point to that illustrate this correlation. If modern day survival were based on survival of the most rebellious, then I'd have to say that there'd only be a small fraction of us that would continue on. Or.......IS it dependent upon the most rebellious? I suppose that rebelliousness is largely relative; what's considered rebellious to people of other cultures is not the same as what's considered rebellious to us. Then again, "high reward" is also relative, so in that sense it's probably proportional.

    Awesome thoughts, Neil.
  • I meant 'special twigs'
  • Well! At one point you could have expected a killer guest post from me next week. Unfortunately, the post above is a word for word copy of what I was going to hand over to you... From the "The act of rebelling against certain societal assumptions... is the product of critical thought. And it’s only by thinking critically about everything... are we able to... free ourselves..." part to the bit about me rubbing living on a boat in everyone's faces, it's all plagiarized directly from my head!

    Looks like I'll have to hijack Kristin's idea and "rebel against lifestyle design" itself. Hmm... I wonder if there's one component of lifestyle design that's a universally accepted dogma that we can question... Hmm... : )

    P.S. The only reason I can think of that anyone would use to question your purpose is that they're limiting you with the blogger socialization mindset of writing articles constructed to teach a point to a predefined niche. If you weren't so obviously a writer rather than just a blogger, I could see that point. However, I'm pretty sure that this will always be the blog of Ashley the writer and human. Ashley the marketing niche dominatrix will probably just have other websites built for other purposes.
  • TMFproject
    Why thank you for that lovely compliment, Andrew! Some of the criticisms I've received are based on the assumption that I'm looking down on anyone and everyone that has a corporate career, which isn't the case. It's the case that I'm working to show those that are working in corporate careers and are unhappy--with unhappy being the keyword--that they don't have to do stuff they don't want, just because it's the socially accepted default path to house, picket fence, kids, van. There are other options!
  • First off: Costa Rica=hell of a lucky sonabitch country.

    Second: Cold lasagna far surpasses hot lasagna if it's second day lasagna...it has to be heated at least once. It's a melty cheese thang.

    Third: I actually thought about getting a 9-5 to rebel against lifestyle design yesterday. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, they aren't mutually exclusive) But when my first reaction to 'full-time' was RUN AND SCREAM, I took a little hop back to pick apart exactly what I had against working 'full-time' when I clearly already do that for myself. Would accepting a job, if the non-negotiables were agreed upon (ability to work remotely/not have a 'boss' to answer to/be able to pay my bills and then some), would it still be selling out?

    Answer: I don't have an effing clue. I might be an entrepreneur because I think the word is sexy (and, honestly, who doesn't?). It has just occurred to me that there's a distinct possibility that I run a business to get laid. < That's a totally unfiltered thought and I refuse to be quoted on that later.

    See what your post did to me?! Now I have to question everything!
  • TMFproject
    1. You definitely run a business to get laid. Now THAT'S thinking outside of the box! :)

    2. You make a good point: Are you working in the right direction if you're still working full time, but for yourself and not someone else? I say the answer is yes; even though the time commitment may be the same, you still have the final call over what, exactly, you're doing in between those hours. (Extra long coffee break, anyone?) Furthermore, even if you were to be employed by someone else, and were able to negotiate remote working terms, etc........how often is that actually the case? If it were possible, one upside might be insurance, but you're still not guaranteed a job or even the possibility to advance your position like you could as an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs ARE sexy!
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