The Flip Side of Unconventional
It’s about taking your wants, your desires, your dreams, your visions, yourself and, ultimately, your life, seriously. It’s not about just following your own little path; it’s about forging the damn thing. It’s about reaching up and pulling down your industrial-strength, metal shovel, pulling up those gingham-print sleeves, giving your knuckles a good crack, doing a mini happy dance for good measure, and then digging in and digging in hard. Because your path isn’t going to magically make itself. It needs you to create it.
And while it’s certainly worth the sweat on your brow, oftentimes going ahead and shunning the traditional in favor of the unconventional isn’t as easy as it sounds; there, there, my pretty, just stop doing things out of pure obligation, listen to your own inner voice, start acting on it and–voila!–your life will forever be the spitting image of giant, fluffy rainbows and dancing pink ponies.
Nice try.
A Blessing & A Curse
Those of you who have had some epiphany moments–who have located your shovel and are in the process of pulling on your gloves–you guys are gearing up in spite of the manual labor because you understand something that the majority of the world doesn’t, and it boils down to one, simple word: Possibilities.
You recognize the endless possibilities that life holds, and you’ve begun to crave them. You know there’s a way to tap into this secret realm of previously un-navigated experiences, unfelt emotions, undiscovered wisdom, unsuspected adventures, unseen destinations and unknown opportunity, and you’re on your way to figuring out just how to lasso it all up as you stroll down your newly trodden path.
This is both a great blessing, and and a great curse.
A blessing because your soul is allowed to manifest itself and dabble, wade and eventually plunge into all sorts of self-actualization goodness, helping to bridge the gap between present and potential. And once you’re swimming in those waters, baby, life inevitably just gets so much better. Especially because this is a nude beach.
Yet despite all of your fun-filled skinny dipping, there’s one important caveat. The flip side. The curse. And it’s that once awareness sits in, there’s simply no going back. There’s no ignoring. There’s no blind eye. There’s no avoiding. There’s no side-stepping. There’s no forgetting. There’s no evading. There is no escape–not even for the Jason Bourne at heart.
Because you know better. Because you’ve tasted better. And now, the generic brand just isn’t good enough–only the authentic will do.
Naivety is no longer an option. You’re forced to grab the shovel.
Better Put Your Seat Belt On
Things that might have previously satisfied you won’t anymore. Things you may have regarded as achievements will become givens. Goals you had for yourself will become outdated and replaced with bigger, brighter, shinier ones. And expectations you had of yourself in the past will no longer be up to par. Mediocrity, as it turns out, becomes obsolete.
You’re demanding life at full throttle, and–let me tell you–it’s gonna be one hell of a ride.
And, isn’t it great? The speed, the exhilaration, the ground you can cover and the things you can accomplish? You’re operating at maximum velocity, spurred on by an invisible sense of determination and new found glory. And truth be told, it is great.
But what many fail to realize is that operating at full throttle requires a lot of energy. It requires a lot of fuel. And it requires a hell of a lot of work. Once upon a time, I had a reader email me this:
“It seems that many are content to let the hard working individuals in our country continue to work their butts off so the ‘dreamers’ can live out their every fantasy, and never be inconvenienced with a job that bores them, overworks them, or takes up just way too much of their time. Soon, these hard working individuals are going to run out; our society needs more ‘reality’ instead of ‘idealogy’.”
A Shoot & A Miss
He couldn’t have been more mistaken–who’s actually working harder here? To imply that taking this path is the easy way out couldn’t be farther from the truth. This path-in-progress requires far more work than following any ordinary life outline. It requires work, alright. Hard work. It requires dedication. It requires conviction. It requires fire. It requires bravery. It requires every ounce of your being.
The standard life outline, on the other hand, simply requires you to follow it. Do this, and you will get X amount of money. Get X amount of money, and you can get Y number of things.
Things.
That’s the outline, and it’s based on the assumption that your greatest aspiration is to acquire as many things as you possibly can. What I want to know is, where’s the bullet point in the outline that emphasizes the intangibles? The un-navigated experiences, unfelt emotions, undiscovered wisdom, unsuspected adventures, unseen destinations and unknown opportunity? Where do they fit in the outline?
I’ll tell you where they fit: Right down there at the bottom, in the fine print.
Is that where they belong?
What it comes down to is a shift in values. We’re no longer satisfied with a few zeros on a paycheck–that is not living. That’s called making a living. It’s the intangibles that possess the ability to make it about more than that.
And dammit, don’t you deserve more than that?
So get out your best shovel, people. It’s time to go to work.
P.S. For some other heavy-duty tools, here’s a few resources that helped me when I was first starting on my unconventional path. Be careful–you’ll probably never be the same. *cue ominous music*
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Filed Under: Life Inspiration • Lifestyle Design
About the Author: Ashley Ambirge is the sarcastic, brash, hot-sauce-addicted founder of The Middle Finger Project, where she gives the evil eye to mediocrity, fervently questions societal assumptions, and aims to inspire readers to flip a cordial bird to the shoulds, and live how they want.
Whiskey shots strictly optional.
So true! It takes work to forge your own way and you then also have to deal with people thinking you're crazy or at least a little odd! but stuff em! lifes too short. Once you're on the path of authenticity it's very hard to reverse (and why would you want to?)
Love it. It's amazing how often you see people who want to go down this path, but are too lazy or don't realize that the people who succeeded on this path worked their asses off to get there. I see friends of mine from grad school even on the conventional path and they are repeating the same things over and over again expecting a different result:
1) Submit a resume to 500 jobs
2) Get depressed about no responses
3) Tell everybody that it all sucks
4)Rinse, Wash, Repeat
After a year you would think they would realize that this might not be the best path.
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Why do people who allow their lives to become crazy, chaotic and work/shopping centered lash out at people who prefer to cut out the extraneous crap and work less?
When people tell me “It must me nice.” With that snooty tone (you know the tone), I think I will start telling them, “Yes, it is, and you should pull your head out of your rear and try it for yourself.”
These days, I may well appear 'lazy' because I don't work much and I spend next to no time shopping or watching TV–but I worked hard to get here . . . and the snooty dude that made the comment you included in your post did nothing to help me out while he was toiling away at whatever made him so miserable.
So there!
and Humph!
Soul mates
To hell with the mediocrity – if I had a space cannon, I'd vaporize it right this very moment.
Our world is fully of carbon copies – and that's not adding any value to the galaxy.
But with the help of the net, there's already a big shift going on. It's now easier than ever to build a business/lifestyle that's centered around you.
That's why I want to finish this comment with my all-time favorite quote:
“Sanity…is for the weak !”
Ha! Not a week goes by without someone making a comment that my chosen path is just a way to avoid reality and live an easy life. And then to see the look of surprise and confusion on their face when I explain to them the amount of hard work I must put in and the challenges I face…
But you're right, I've also had several friends assume that making the decision to live an unconventional life was all that was needed to actually achieve it successfully. After realizing that endless sweat and calloused hands were indeed a part of the process, they quickly retreated without ever even getting that initial taste of what it feels like to have possibilities.
Screw mediocrity and give it your damn all. I'm gonna need a Backhoe Loader because I'm going big!
How do you know about my fun filled skinny dipping
When you read or do something motivational, you can get in a very inspired mood pretty easily. I have trouble keeping that high in the following days and months though. Any suggestions?
My goodness. I haven't been here in ages.
Mediocrity has never been in my style. Nice to know I have company in my opinion on that.
Back to the salt mine…
@Getyourbizsavvy
Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about! Bring on the backhoes. It's game on.
@MarsDorian
It's just like my all-time favorite Kerouac quote: “Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
@simpleinfrance
You'd be surprised at the number of messages I get that are similar (or see written about me). But the fact of the matter is, there are the people who get it, and the people who don't. So be thrilled to encounter the ones that do–bond, connect, dream and discuss together–and just smirk knowingly at the ones who don't…because you'll never be able to convince them, nor is it worth your energy. Knowing that you're doing what you know is right for you is all that matters. The end.
@Jen
I think it takes a lot of self-confidence to be able to ignore the people telling you you're crazy, but you damn well better….otherwise, they're essentially snatching your dreams right out from under you. Over my dead body!
@Srinivas
I'm starting to think that many people do things simply because of the prior investment they've put into it–for example, these people worked so hard in school for so long, that they'd hate to feel like it was all a waste of time. So instead, they keep on the same path, hoping for the best. But it's one of those things where I believe that just because you've started something, doesn't mean you have to finish it. Peoples' goals change. Perspectives change. Lives change. Wants change. And with all of those variables changing, it'd be almost silly to keep one's path stagnant.
@Earl
It does grind on your nerves a bit sometimes, doesn't it? You're putting in more work than you ever have before–and not only work, but all of your passion, energy and ideas–and in return, you get told you're lazy. I imagine that it's because a lot of what you or I or others do in terms of work is not “work” by standard definition, and therefore categorized as a hobby, etc. But ohhhh soooo mistaken.
@Jonny
We are Facebook friends and I've seen the photos.
@BobbySoFamous
I was just thinking about this the other day, as a matter of fact, and I think that it's important not to get so wrapped up in the details that you forget about the reason why you're doing it in the first place. It's like what they tell you in sales–you've got to discuss not the features, but the benefits. So in my mind, I try and keep the benefits of whatever I'm doing as my mantra…and keep on reminding myself so I don't lose sight–or energy, stamina or motivation.
@DaveDoolin
Long time no see, buddy! Glad you stopped by.
“Yet despite all of your fun-filled skinny dipping, there’s one important caveat. The flip side. The curse. And it’s that once awareness sits in, there’s simply no going back. There’s no ignoring. There’s no blind eye. There’s no avoiding. There’s no side-stepping. There’s no forgetting. There’s no evading. There is no escape–not even for the Jason Bourne at heart.
Because you know better. Because you’ve tasted better. And now, the generic brand just isn’t good enough–only the authentic will do.
Naivety is no longer an option. You’re forced to grab the shovel.”
F**king brilliant, I had to comment.
“Once you see the matrix for what it is, you're in a sense ruined.”
Reading your posts gently nudges me back to my center.
Thank you (for you).
@ebele
What a lovely comment to make. Thank YOU for taking the time to do so. I truly appreciate hearing it.
love this — this is exactly how i've been feeling for a long time now…truly ready to start digging.
thanks Ashley, xx