ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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A Wee Little Heart-to-Heart on The Fear of Being TOO. MUCH.

In: Finding Your Voice

You know how I know when someone's lying to themselves? *chomps peanut*

The way they write.

I can tell a lot about about a person by the way they write—myself included. I know there are people who are all, “But wait, WHAT ABOUT GENUINELY BAD WRITERS?” to which I say, yes, I know, they are absolute monsters, but also that—this has nothing to do with being a good writer or a bad writer, and everything to do with the person you choose to be on the page.

Unlike the way we show up in the real world, which comes with a shit ton of awkward accidents—the way you walk, the color of that one glory-filled chin hair that just keeps on comin' back for more—the way we show up on the page is much more deliberate. Every word is a conscious choice. So, who are you choosing to be? And more importantly, why?

+ Are you reserved with your own opinions, unconvinced that you are good enough to have them?

+ Is there a flatness in your voice—an even-keeled, cadaver-like quality—fearful of being TOO MUCH?

+ Do you hide behind platitudes, soothed by the safety of certainty and nodding heads?

+ Do you resist drawing attention to yourself, hoping not to be challenged or have to engage?

+ Can you still delight in the pleasure of having ideas without the constant burden of judging yourself for them?

+ And are you constantly shrinking, shrinking, shrinking some more, trying to conceal your YOUNESS? Your flaws? The part of you that is not one bit put-together at. fucking. all. (Haiiiii, 95% of what makes up a human life.)

There is just so much restraint.
We're bound by the throat.
There's such a fear of TOO MUCHNESS everywhere.

You know how I know when someone's lying to themselves? When their words feel like a straight jacket on the page.

Most people assume that when you show up authentically in your real life, it translates onto the page, but I've found the opposite to be true. The more you choose to be yourself on the page, the more you will find yourself being able to in real life. It's a practice. A mirror. A way of thinking your way through who you really are and what you really believe and then letting that self-understanding inform the person you become.

Because we're always becoming, you know.

And maybe this is how we write ourselves home.

Sep 30

2010

Defiance or Defeat? You Pick.

Sep 30, 2010

Sometimes, the shit hits the fan. Sometimes, you find yourself living out of your car, storing all of your toiletries in an oversize red purse, lodging sweatshirts in between head rests and sunroof panels to block the windows so you can sleep, explaining to unsympathetic credit card companies that you can’t pay your $41 minimum […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Aug 12

2017

A Note of Support for All My Dreamers Getting Their Ideas Pooh-Poohed By Their Family, Their Friends, Their Spouses, and Their Neighbors (Fucking Neighbors, Am I Right?)

Aug 12, 2017

In the year 2010, friends would call and say: “So, how’s your blooooooooggggggg?” The tone was obvious: How’s your cute little imaginary friend that you think is going to save you from the real world that the rest of us have to suffer through? The year 2011, I made $103,000 with that blog—a far cry […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Mar 20

2014

I Brought 20 Hookers to Central America on Business.

Mar 20, 2014

I sloshed on yet another layer of gloss, steering frantically with one hand while trying not to rear end a truck full of cows. I mean, what would I tell the Life Hooky group? “We didn’t pick you up at the airport in San Jose because, see, there were these cowsssssss.” Even I would think I […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Oct 8

2015

Look, We’ve All Got Our Faults. *Stomps Cigar*

Oct 8, 2015

Look, we’ve all got our faults. I, for one, have a wrinkly ass neck. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know when it happened. But all the sudden there are lines as deep as the Panama Canal cutting across my trachea. Fortunately, all the resveratrol I’ve consumed over the years seems to have […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Feb 10

2016

Nice Brands Finish Last

Feb 10, 2016

[x_blockquote type=”center”]I take it as an insult when somebody calls me The N Word: Nice.[/x_blockquote] Out of 100,000 adjectives in the English language, if the best you can come up with is nice, then I’m doing something wrong. It’s like spending Thanksgiving Day ripping out gizzards and mashing actual potatoes, only to be told that […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Dec 12

2017

To The People Who Keep Asking Me When I’m Having a Baby

Dec 12, 2017

“When are you having a baby?” “You’d be a great mom.” “You’ll regret it later if you don’t.” “You HAVE to have kids!” …and I used to think people were pushy about making me try seafood. Though the decision not to have children actually reminds me of that: people are really convinced you’re making a […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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