ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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Sometimes You Fall Into Things. You Fall Into People, Fall Into Places, Fall Into Patterns, Fall Into Deep Dark Obsessions With Red Velvet Cake. (AHEM.) 

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

The other day I tweeted about how I watched The Notebook and so CLEARLY I was living my best life. And then I started thinking about how much I love that phrase, because it's a good reminder, isn't it? Am I really living my best life? What does that even mean?

Sometimes you fall into things. You fall into people, fall into places, fall into patterns, fall into deep dark obsessions with red velvet cake. Ahem. (As someone who is patently Team Cheese, this is mutiny.)

I hate falling into things. I hate when you accidentally wake up one day and don't know yourself, anymore. It's weird how often that happens, even when you're deliberate about your choices. Even when you spend twenty four hours a day INSIDE YOUR OWN BRAIN thinking that you know yourself pretty well, and then one day you look in the mirror and discover you're actually a thirty-four-year-old zookeeper in Memphis. Like, what? How did that happen?

So much of life is a sneaky little slow burn. If you're not watching, inertia takes over and sends you spiraling down this path that just sort of happens. One day you're getting a college degree in business management; the next day you're the manager of a Blockbuster in Alaska. Which is actually still a thing. Next to the Tractor Supply Store. Where you've got store credit. And they know you by your new name, Rising Earth.

So it's a useful question to ask yourself, over and over again—even if the answer is a little painful. Are you living your best life? Or is this just a substitute to get you by? A filler. A holding period. A way to push pause on the pressure and the pursuit that comes with constantly trying? Sometimes it is nice to push pause on ambition; to just be a regular human with regular aspirations and a regular life. To not have to figure it out today, or face the hard conversation, or do the hard thing. But unfortunately respite can quickly turn into reality. A lonnnnnng reality full of shitstorms and resentment and lukewarm showers.

We need to place checks and balances on ourselves; to be wise enough to question our own judgment, our own choices, and everything we've done since. Unfortunately there is not a little man named Bob running around with a tiny clipboard, monitoring the quality of your life. Oooh, happiness spiking! Yes, make sure she keeps doing that. Uh oh, happiness falling. Get her out of there now, go, go, go! You gotta be willing to call yourself on your own bullshit. And to not only realize when you aren't living your best life—but be willing to fix it. (I've heard that watching The Notebook is always a great place to start.)

We're human. We're fallible. We fall on hard times and we fall behind and we fall on our face and we fall into traps. We fall short, we fall hard, we fall down, and we fall out. We fall from grace, we fall prey, we fall flat, and we fall out of touch.

But we mustn't fall in line.

Not when there is so much more out there waiting for you.

May 21

2012

Fuck Shit Balls I Didn’t Finish Those Edits, Yet. And Other Stuff That Doesn’t Matter. (In Memory of Enrique.)

May 21, 2012

So I’m not sure what you did yesterday, but I, for one, witnessed somebody drown. You’re probably thinking I’m joking, because who mentions something like drowning so nonchalantly? But I am not, unfortunately, joking. And while I’m calm now, yesterday I was anything but. It was sunset, and I was with my Costa Rican girlfriends […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Jan 15

2013

Your Life in 6 Words.

Jan 15, 2013

Remember that one time I got loose, drank too much eggnog* and packaged everything together in the TMF store for a wild, wild west of a discount–and then told all continental U.S. buyers that I’d even take it a step further and send a surprise to their doorstep? Right. That time. Just last month for […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Mar 30

2017

When Following the Crowd is GOOD FOR YOU.

Mar 30, 2017

So the other day, it happened. There was one person stubborn enough to finally coerce me into doing the one thing I’d promised I’d never do. I’d hedged for many painful weeks. (Okay, fine, months.) I’d squirmed and I’d squithered (new favorite word) and I’d writhed and I’d wriggled. And yet, she kept asking. “Today […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Mar 14

2013

Success Is Where the Heart Is

Mar 14, 2013

He sat in the far corner of the room–no clip board, no notepad, no smile. I couldn’t make out his face–the room was dark and the curtains were drawn. I waited for Al Pacino to bust down the door, cigar in hand. I was seated near the door, at a table, with a woman named […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Nov 22

2012

Lust, Turkey Gizzards + A Ladylike Toast

Nov 22, 2012

I blame my bleak and very unpromising cooking skills on Thanksgiving, you know. You’d think I would have gotten better from helping my mom prepare such a yearly feast for me, her and my dad. (Mashed potatoes were my sworn duty. Probably because they’re mashed, requiring heavy amounts of manual mashing child labor. Not to […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Oct 25

2018

Be Brave, Courageous, Interesting, Crazy, Difficult, Weird, and Downright Complicated. But Don’t You Ever Be Normal.

Oct 25, 2018

You know what’s fucked up? Normal. Normal is so fucked up. For example, it’s normal for expats to drink daily in Costa Rica. This is a terrible idea, and yet, because it’s done over and over again, it’s become normalized. NO ONE WILL GIVE YOU THE STINK EYE FOR SLUGGING A BEER AT 10AM, Y’ALL. […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Jun 22

2018

Sometimes You Fall Into Things. You Fall Into People, Fall Into Places, Fall Into Patterns, Fall Into Deep Dark Obsessions With Red Velvet Cake. (AHEM.) 

Jun 22, 2018

The other day I tweeted about how I watched The Notebook and so CLEARLY I was living my best life. And then I started thinking about how much I love that phrase, because it’s a good reminder, isn’t it? Am I really living my best life? What does that even mean? Sometimes you fall into things. You fall into people, fall into […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

READ ME >>

May 31

2016

“Ding, Ding, Ding! You Can Have Fun Now!”

May 31, 2016

I’m going to England tomorrow. By which I mean I’m stepping inside a long metal torpedo and sitting my fat ass down on some murky blue pleather for an exact distance of 5,429 miles across a cold, dreary ocean that always makes me wonder things I shouldn’t ever wonder. Like: Would I actually remain calm […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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