Category: Online Marketing

Make 50% of the Population Hate You

“Make 50% of the population hate you.” My editor reminded me of this the other day when we were talking about the main argument of my book. (And then I immediately wanted to tongue her.) Because that’s what arguments do, after all: they stand in opposition to something. They take a stand, plant their flag, and proclaim something they believe to be true—that, by design, not everyone will be able to agree with. You don’t want everyone to agree with

Know Who Your Haters Are

Tiffany’s doesn’t try to sell diamonds to a sixteen-year-old girl. Nor are they offended, nor worried, when teens aren’t flocking to their stores. Tiffany’s knows that sixteen-year-old girls most definitely aren’t their market. And I also imagine that, were a sixteen-year-old girl to proclaim that Tiffany’s sucks absolute DONKEY BALLS, they wouldn’t take it to too much heart either. 🙂 That seems obvious on its face, but try telling that to the millennial who has just read a critical review

“The O Method”: My Quick Trick for Standing Out From the Crowd With Your Work

So you know I’ve been high as a kite on books since THE BIG BOOK DEAL (which I have no shame in saying in big, obnoxious capital letters, not even a little bit) and I’ve already been having all sorts of crazy visions of book tours that, instead of taking me to all the big cities, takes me to ALL THE SMALL TOWNS, where I will then proceed to take all the trailer park children and walk hand-in-hand through all

Read This if You Need Eyeballs On Your Stuff But Have NO EFFING IDEA HOW TO GET ANYONE TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU SO HELP YOU VODKA.

I just got done doing a live video sesh with my Unf*ckwithable Girlfriends, and one author got on and was telling us that she’d recently attended a comic convention where her ideal target market was hanging out, making it much easier for her to sell her books—as opposed to getting on the giant black hole that is the Internet and going, “OKAY, HI, I’M HERE, WHERE IS EVERYBODYYYYY?!?!??!?!” And that probably resonates with you, too, if you’re trying to get

THIS VIDEO, THOUGH. Talk About Making Me Hot, Hot, Hot With Desire. (Not That Kind.) (But Maybe?)

One of our subscribers created this video, recently, to promote her business—and HOLY FUCK. That is all I want to say, over and over and over again. Holy. Fuck. (Which is obviously the best testament there is.) If you’ve ever doubted the fact that emotion sells, I challenge you to think again. Because anyone can start a business writing other people’s bios (the way she’s niched this is brilliant, by the way); but not everyone can make you long for

She Wrote the Book On It

At my retreat in the Cotswolds, this past summer, I gave everyone salmon-colored Kate Spade notebooks that read on the cover: She wrote the book on it. It’s a theme I teach and live and breathe and bleed. Everyone’s always asking, “How do you market yourself? How do you get people to notice you?” (For the record, this question is a little bit like asking, “How do I have sex?” In other words, not exactly a straightforward process—unless you have

A Quick Piece of (Marketing) Advice for Every Broke, Newbie Entrepreneur Who Doesn’t Have Two Cents to Rub Together (YET…)

A question I get a lot is: what a limited marketing budget, what’s the one thing you’d do? And my answer is this: I would talk. I would talk about it everywhere, in front of whoever will listen. The medium doesn’t matter—the fact that you’re out there talking does. Instagram videos. Twitter streams. Podcasts. Webinars. YouTube. Facebook. Community events. Telephones. Megaphones. Blogs. Whatever. There are so many free tools we now have to reach the rest of the world, there’s

Marketing Is Fucking Weird, Isn’t It?

Marketing is fucking weird, isn’t it? Everyone’s really anxious about it all the time, and it makes lots of people go into hiding and never, ever, ever want to come out. (I think they imagine others looking at them and pointing and growling, “Youuuu dirty rotten slimmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.) But I gotta say: marketing gets really easy when you believe in your work. And when you’re proud of what you’re doing. And when you actually like your work. (Like my forthcoming book,

Don’t Sell a Product—Sell a Person Their Identity

It’s been a while since I read the New York Times Insider subscription that I’ve been paying for since 2015. It’s $45 dollars month, so from time-to-time, I think to myself: Meh, guess I should cancel it. You know, to be a financially responsible person and all. (I’ve heard those are some good eggs, those folks.) But then every single time I go to pull the plug, something stops me. I realize that I like giving money to The New

You Are F*cking Crazy If You Don’t Have a Self-Published Book on Amazon

TRIPPY SHIT ALERT: Did you know that Amazon is now one of the biggest search engines in the world? I read a stat the other day that said, in fact, that 44% of people now start their searches on Amazon, over Google, which is an astounding number and OMG I’M GUILTY. (Why do I feel like I’m cheating on Google?!) You know what this means, right? I SMELL OPPORTUNITYYYYY. Every single business, I don’t care who you are, should have