Repeat after me:
You are not a bother.
You are not a bother.
You are not a bother.
You are not a bother.
You are not a bother.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTHER.
You're doing me a favor by being there. You're doing all of us a favor by bringing your work into the world.
But god dammit, if you leave me out—if you do not tell me about all of the ways that you can help me, and if you keep your work hidden from me, and if you decline to show me just how much better my life could be, then I should think you trying to do me harm. There's nothing like being left intentionally left out, and that is what you are doing to your customers by not marketing to them. You are depriving me of something I need—and yeah, I'm pretty bummed.
If the cure for cancer existed, but the doctors didn't tell you about it because they didn't want to seem pushy, would you be relieved, or?
Marketing, when done correctly, is not about coercion: it's about matching. You need, I have. Which is why it's paramount that you figure out who the people are who need you. Not about the people who *could* give you money (there are plenty of those dick nuggets), but the people who really, really need and want and would friggin' JUMP UP AND DOWN to find out about you.
Marketing is a good deed, y'all. It will make the right people excited. How's that for a reframe?
By the way, if you are someone who is struggling with a fear of selling yourself, christ on a stick, go buy this book. Or, hey, listen to it while you send your morning fax! (My favorite euphemism.) It's called, “This is Marketing,” and you will highlight every other fucking line. You will lick the front of your Kindle. You will put this book down your pants just to have it with you at all times. (It's that good. No wonder I was getting awkward looks yesterday.)
When you market, you aren't hoping to sell anyone: you're hoping to change their life for the better. Money, in all her glory, just happens to be the happy by-product of that.