ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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Screw Being Your Own Boss

In: Starting an Online Business

 

Being your own boss is infinitely harder than having a boss, and by infinitely (which is a pain in the ass to spell), I mean 17,929,531.9045 times harder. Exact math.

The next time I hear someone say that they want to be their own boss, I'm going to take the nearest rotten pork chop and slap them across the face with it because, in fact, that's kind of what it's like.

Gone are the days when you just take orders and go home at 5pm to watch Desperate Housewives while shoving Twizzlers down your throat. (Not judging, ahem.)

Rather, being your own boss means a humongous fucking time investment.

Being your own boss means responsibility.

Being your own boss means that the work is never done.

Being your own boss means rules, regulations, taxes, paperwork.

Being your own boss means you can't just zone out.

Being your own boss means your livelihood.

Being your own boss means your dignity.

And dammit, being your own boss means that sometimes even when the hottest guy on the face of the planet wants to bone, you have to say no.

So why do we do it, then?

Because being your own boss also means creative freedom.

Freedom to dip your little red toenail into the unknown. Freedom to prove to yourself that you're more than just a job title. And the freedom to be you in ways you've never been before.

With the internet, we've got so much more opportunity than most people realize.

Not just to “be your own boss,” but to do something that fucking matters.

Because at the end of the day, that's really why you want to quit your job…isn't it?

Dec 19

2013

Are You a Dangerous Liability In Your Own Business?

Dec 19, 2013

How many books do you have in your Kindle library that you haven’t read yet? How many times have you said to yourself, “I should really learn how to write better copy,” or “I should really learn Photoshop,” or “I should really learn how to shower more regularly instead of rotting away in my yoga pants […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Aug 16

2017

Too Shy to Stand Up and Sing Your Own Praises? Start Here, You Humble Little Lovebug, You.

Aug 16, 2017

Someone tells you that you did a great job, and what’s the first thing coming out of your mouth? OH NO BIGGIE, BARB, IT WAS NOTHING, REALLY—NO WORRIES, LEAST I COULD DO! We’re quick to diminish our efforts because taking credit for all the things somehow feels self-important; braggy; boastful; full-of-herself. Do this enough times, […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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May 4

2012

How to Be Taken Seriously in Biz + Life. (Does Not Apply to Douchebags, The President, or Anyone With The Name Barbie.)

May 4, 2012

Ever jump in a pool fully clothed? You gotta try it. Borderline rebellious, without landing you a spot in jail, or any unplanned pregnancies. (Usually.) I’m pretty sure I’ve jumped into more pools clothed than the average human being, which must qualify me for something. Something other than the insane asylum. Or the WWF. My […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Jun 6

2013

10 Uncommon Truths Every Business Owner Should Know

Jun 6, 2013

I’m not sure if you’ve ever served ice cream for a living, but there’s one thing you should know: It’s terrifying. From little league ball teams showing up twenty seconds before close (always a great time), to people who NEVER SPECIFY WHAT SIZE THEY WANT EVEN THOUGH THE PRICE IS DIRECTLY CORRELATED TO THE SIZE […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Feb 7

2014

Just The Tip: Nobody Wants Your Free Goodies

Feb 7, 2014

Alright, it’s time we had a talk about your goodies. I’ve seen free goodies being offered all over the internet for year after (painful) year, and I really have to wonder: Are they honestly as good as Ciara’s? Kidding. We both know that’s impossible. Have you seen her abs? Regardless, if you’ve ever caught yourself writing, “Sign up […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Mar 30

2016

Create & Offer What YOU’D Want to Buy.

Mar 30, 2016

  “THAT’S GENIUS!” said a lot of really sweet people really big brown nosers after the launch of Unf*ckwithable Girlfriends last week. Except they weren’t giving me the compliment because of what it contained, but rather, because of what it didn’t. “You mean you aren’t inundating everyone with another Facebook group? No forums? No Google […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Aug 7

2014

Tweet When You’re Dead

Aug 7, 2014

Death is weird. One minute you’re painstakingly slaving over the perfect Facebook status update, worrying about the new wrinkle in your forehead, and crying hysterically over the fact that you spilled a drop of creamer on the counter and WHY! CAN’T! ANYTHING! BE! EASY!, and the next, well, you don’t even have the privilege of […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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Aug 15

2017

DO NOT KILL THE PEOPLE SELLING LULAROE. They’re Actually Ahead of the Curve—And Here’s Why.

Aug 15, 2017

LuLaRoe. Rodan + Fields. Younique. AdvoCare. Usana. Beachbody. doTerra. Herbalife. Pampered Chef. If you’re anything like me, your Facebook feed is blowin’ UP with folks who have become representatives for these companies. (Some of them I like and respect, and others make me want to chainsaw their house.) So why is this becoming such a […]

In: Starting an Online Business

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

Enter your email address and I’ll send you my advice column every week sharing everything I’ve learned—and so much more.

But no serial killers. I promise I won’t send those.

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