ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

Learn More >>

What To Do When Nobody Cares About You. (Tip: Do Not Punch The Mailman.)

In: Online Marketing

Last week, I predicted that while I was in Buenos Aires, I'd either fall hopelessly in love with an Argentine, or get totally pissed off because I didn't.

So far, the latter has been true.

But don't worry, I'm not slinging sauerkraut yet.

There might have also been a suspiciously large sausage sandwich involved. [Insert token off-color joke here.]

As well as the purchase of possibly the world's sexiest vintage purse ever. It's got red lipstick stains on the inside fabric, and I have to think that this purse once accompanied a young, fiery Argentine woman who wore it the night she met her soul mate.

And then, of course, I spent hours walking. And walking. And walking. I shimmied up alleyways, paraded down avenues, and promptly sat on every park bench I could find.

I watched people. I saw memories being made as young couples strolled the streets. I saw memories being relived as old couples followed behind them. And, of course, I saw passion.

That's what happens, I suspect, when you throw a bunch of Italians, Spaniards and French into one country together.

You get some fucking passion.

And passion interests me. It interests me because it's what good marketing is all about: Helping your buyer FEEL. Helping them become passionate, excited and straight up giddy about what you're selling.

Would Argentine's naturally be better at marketing, then?

Interestingly enough, as I began to look around, I noticed their passion breathing life into every store front.

They weren't just selling sunglasses. They were selling you the key to becoming who you always hoped to be–just like we talked about last week. 

There was no window space advertising 50% discounts–rather, these window spaces were covered with big, loud, fearless statements. Statements designed to yank at your heart strings. Statements designed to stop you dead in your tracks. Statements designed to make you feel something. Statements designed to SELL.

Look at the sign inside. “Never hide.”

 

Reads: “Yoga clothing–for being at home, for not working, for hugging, for taking back the siesta, for reading, meditating, dreaming; clothing for resting and taking care of yourself.”

 

On the right–“LAUGH MORE.”

How can you do this for your customers? What “store front statement” can you make?

Don't think about what your product or service does–think about how it'll help them become the person they want to be, and then figure out what you can say to appeal to that desire.

This really applies no matter what you do.

Maybe you're a plumber.

Not sexy, right?

Well guess what is sexy?

The fact that new homeowners, for example, want to feel as if they're being responsible, and that everything's going to work out okay. That they aren't in over their heads. That they made a good choice. That they can step into adulthood eloquently. That they won't screw it all up.

If I'm a plumbing company and I'm running an ad targeting chicks who've just bought a new home, and I want to sell them some kind of routine plumbing maintenance, I'm not going to start off by saying:

Keep your pipes clean. Call Rick today.

Rather, I'm going to start off by saying:

Hey new homeowner–those big girl pants make your ass look great. Our job? Help you keep 'em on.

Or

You just bought a house.
Don't worry.
The only way you'll lose your shirt is if you accidentally find yourself in Cancun during spring break.
If that happens, we only have one piece of advice: FIND IT IMMEDIATELY.

Or

Thing They Didn't Tell You About Owning a Home and Being a Real-Life Adult #999: It's easier to prevent catastrophes than it is to, err, clean 'em up. 

Or

Hey new homeowner–that responsibility you're wearing lately? RAVISHING.

Or

The house I live in, I bought it.
The car I'm driving, I bought it
‘Cuz I depend on me.

No matter who you are or what you do, you can identify key desires that your customers have, and how those desires help define the person they want to become.

How can you help your customers feel like by choosing your product or your service, they'll become more THE IDEAL THEM?

How can you make 'em feel something? Even if it's just in making them smile?

This reminds me of something I had posted online about a year ago:

Go ahead. Make 'em fucking care. Make 'em fucking feel. Make 'em YOURS. And then go find one of those damn sausage sandwiches, already.

You won't regret it. 

(That's what he said.)

Nov 9

2012

Call Your Fucking Tribe. (Quickie Friday Piece of Ass)

Nov 9, 2012

For my WRITERS–at heart, by trade, or in their wildest, rowdiest, wettest dreams. Because it’s Friday. And this short video will be the most important thing you do all day. (You can’t fool me – I know nobody’s really working.) This is why I do what I do as a copywriter. This is why the […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Sep 27

2012

Let The Serious Folks Go Seriously Broke.

Sep 27, 2012

  I can’t do serious. I’m not sure if you could tell from the name of this blog, or from anything I’ve ever written, said, tweeted and/or mimed while naked, but it’s true. (There was actually no naked miming. I do a lot of stuff naked, but really, who the hell mimes these days?) I’m […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Dec 23

2010

Do What You Love (And Get Paid for It): The Missing Link

Dec 23, 2010

So last week you met Paolo. You’re welcome. If you didn’t meet Paolo last week, you need to read that before you read this. If you don’t, you run the risk of having me track you down and fling spicy Peruvian chicken sauce in your eye. Yes, it exists—I’m dipping my bread in it as […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Oct 9

2013

Your Logo On a BIC Pen Isn’t Going to Do Jack. (And Other Marketing Tactics You Can Stop Wasting Your Time With.)

Oct 9, 2013

So, you know how you’ve been fumbling around on Twitter writing awkward tweets that say things like, “So…how about that mustard?” and “FOLLOW ME, I DON’T BITE!” to which some creepy man with a mustache from Idaho immediately responds with a frowney face, making you contemplate whether or not this is a plus or a […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Oct 10

2012

Why “Business As Usual” Is Usually Killing Your Business

Oct 10, 2012

Fun is underrated. It’s no longer enough to do a good job, provide good customer service or deliver on time. Those things aren’t competitive advantages; they’re the expectation. And since they’re the expectation, you’re not impressing anyone. What isn’t always the expectation, however, is how fun it’ll be to do business with you. Not just pleasant. […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Apr 3

2014

Difference Isn’t About Being Different.

Apr 3, 2014

You know what I’m passionate about? Elephants. Big, giant, hot chartreuse, polka dotted elephants. In the room. Online. Where there’s at least one Nigerian Prince sending out emails with the salutation, “Friend.” (Oh wait, that was me.) Right now, the elephant in the room I’m sitting in is the increasingly common practice of—how should I […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Jan 18

2013

Butt Paste–And How It’ll Help You Market Yourself Better.

Jan 18, 2013

Last night, I bought three tubes of something called Butt Paste.  You’re probably thinking the same thing that the 19 year old male cashier was. Try making that transaction with a straight face. But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, after all. And this girl is headed to The Bahamas tomorrow with […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Feb 2

2012

Is This Simple Thing Preventing You From Getting More Clients?

Feb 2, 2012

So once upon a time I dated a guy with lots of tattoos who worshiped his mom. Wait. Wait a minute. That has nothing to do with the story. Rewind. Back up. Let’s start again. *clears throat*– Once upon a time, my official job title was “Director of Business Development.” There. That’s better. Right story. […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Aug 22

2017

Don’t Sell a Product—Sell a Person Their Identity

Aug 22, 2017

It’s been a while since I read the New York Times Insider subscription that I’ve been paying for since 2015. It’s $45 dollars month, so from time-to-time, I think to myself: Meh, guess I should cancel it. You know, to be a financially responsible person and all. (I’ve heard those are some good eggs, those […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Dec 11

2011

Why You SHOULD Sweat the Small Stuff. (Free Puma Included.)

Dec 11, 2011

Yesterday, I was certain I was going to die.  Not just on one occasion, but two. The first instance was when I agreed to ride an ancient, rusty, rickety, RIDICULOUS ski lift up the side of a volcano. Vollll. Caaaaa. Noooo. Obviously that’s what you do when you’re in Patagonia with a group of friends–ride […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

Enter your email address and I’ll send you my advice column every week sharing everything I’ve learned—and so much more.

But no serial killers. I promise I won’t send those.

Privacy Policy Info Here