ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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10 Reminders We All Need When We’re Ugly Crying Into Our Vodka and Hate Our Jobs

In: Hate Your Job?

First of all, if you're actually crying into your vodka, you must be drinking from an exceptionally wide glass. I commend you.

Second, I made this list the other night when I was awake at three o'clock in the morning because isn't that what everybody does at three o'clock in the morning? Makes lists? And then publishes them on the Internet? Fuck, how I love the Internet. Though I do not like having to capitalize “Internet” because it reminds me of having to capitalize “God,” and all of that feels really extra—but then again maybe this is really just a way of saying that the Internet IS God. And I am high key okay with that.

So, darling Internet, here are some things that I'm thinking we could really use some reminders on—because no one can live their best life while actually, ahem, hating it.

  1. You can always start again—which is such a privilege. We love to overcomplicate everything by being all “but how?” but let's be honest: that is really just you procrastinating The Hard. You start by starting. There is no right or wrong way; no ideal order. Just get the fuck in there, will you? Stop benching yourself.
  2. By the way, if you're worried about ruining all of the street cred you've built up and don't want to “throw it all away,” your logic is a little low-res. It's way better to cut your losses now than it is to spend THE NEXT THIRTY YEARS hating your life. Which one is really the bigger waste?
  3. FUN is a legit career strategy. If you're stressing about all of the different things you *could* do, try looking at each one through how much fun it'll be for you. Seriously. Forget straight-laced practicality: it's for the birds. And people born 100 years ago.
  4. You don't have to know what comes next. All you have to know is that you are eager and you are capable and you are trustworthy and you are sincere. Believing that you can handle it is 99% of success.
  5. Nothing takes as long as you think it does. You're probably thinking that it's going to take fucking forever for you to get up to speed in an all-new life, but it's really only going to take you one or two years: with the Internet, everything moves faster. Including your ability to 180 your career.
  6. You don't owe anybody anything, period—and that includes people you made promises to, once upon a time, when you thought things were going to turn out differently. Guess what? They didn't. And you always have a right to change your mind.
  7. You will never feel like you have enough money—even when you have hundreds of thousands of dollars in your bank account. So stop worrying about whether it's going to be “enough” and focus more on whether you are HAPPY.
  8. There will always be someone who thinks it's a horrible idea. That's okay, you think their hair is a horrible idea. #IRRELEVANT.
  9. You can reinvent yourself 1,000 times over. Stopping and starting again is not flighty: it's wise.
  10. There's nothing stopping you from doing something drastic—and sometimes it's the most sensible thing of all.
Aug 6

2019

“I Don’t Know What I Want to Dooooo, And I’m Kinda Confused, and I’m Feeling Like a Flakey Little Fruitcake, Ash!”

Aug 6, 2019

WITTY BANTER. Biggest turn-on ever. (Because we’re just opening with that, okay?) Like, I don’t even care if you’re wearing coveralls and haven’t shaved in forty-nine years: if you’re witty, I’m going to want to jump your bones. Which I won’t do, ahem, given that I’m in a relationship and all, but this is a hypothetical […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Jun 1

2017

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait for No One

Jun 1, 2017

Here’s a principle I vehemently disagree with: Good things come to those who wait. You know who probably came up with that stylish piece of wisdom? Someone in a position of power, tasked with managing the masses and getting them to obey orders. You can hear a teacher saying that, can’t you? Now, there, little […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Jun 18

2017

Seek Pleasure, And You Will Have Found Your Work

Jun 18, 2017

Procrastination is not a symptom of something that’s wrong with you, your brain, or your level of commitment—it’s a clue. Something is wrong with it. The thing you’re doing—do you really want to be doing it? Does this actually give you joy, or have you roped yourself into yet another maze of obligations and onuses, […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Oct 17

2018

We Need You to Give Yourself the Job

Oct 17, 2018

Today I will drive twenty six miles on backroads, through crisp autumn air, past dairy farms and old Citgo stations, and up a giant hill to my alma mater, Blue Ridge High School, here in rural Pennsylvania. I’m speaking to a group of seniors. Hijacking their last class of the day as I hoist myself […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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May 1

2013

Here’s an Opportunity – TAKE IT

May 1, 2013

I’ve got a theory. Don’t tell anyone, because if they take it to heart, they might get even better at this business thing, and then what’s going to happen is that one year from now, you’ll somehow find yourself eating red velvet cupcakes at their book signing instead of your own, except you won’t just be […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Feb 13

2019

How to Start an Online Business When You Are Not an “Internet Person”—And Are Seriously Doubting That You Can Do This

Feb 13, 2019

So, the other day one of my best college girlfriends reached out and was all, “Ashhhhhhhhhh! I need your helpppppp! I’m trying to start an online business but I have no idea what I’m doing and you’re obviously the first person that I thought of, muahahaha.” (She. Is. Adorable. She’s been hand-painting wooden signs and […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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Oct 24

2017

Don’t Sell Your Soul—Sell Your SKILLS.

Oct 24, 2017

Everybody knows how to do something, and that includes you. And guess what? That means you can teach someone else. And whatever you can teach someone, you can sell to someone. …And I say that without a shred of snake oil. Knowledge is what makes our world go ‘round. Now, more than ever, you can […]

In: Hate Your Job?

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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