ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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When You Feel Worthy of Being Seen…It Shows

In: Finding Your Voice

 

Let me tell you what: American women may have Victoria’s Secret, but Italian women have another secret altogether.

You know it by the way she holds her head a little higher than yours, eyes on fire, gliding down the god damn sidewalk as if her and Mother Nature were tag teaming.

It is not just confidence—though confidence is plainly written across her shoulders—nor arrogance, judging by the way she laughs with her entire body alongside her friends in the piazza. Rather, it’s the secret of Italian women—as I’m witnessing here while I’m in Italy this week—and it’s wrapped in a stylish red trench coach and a pair of oversized sunglasses, whispering the words, “And I’m not even trying.”

We desperately need to all take a page out of her book purse. Contrast that image with the average American woman, and you know what you see, instead?

Eyes averted. Head down. Guarded demeanor. And trying so hard to withdraw herself from having to speak to anyone, or smile at anyone, or dare find herself vulnerable, or judged, or even seen.

The secret of Italian women is that they like to be seen.

They don’t withdraw—they own the space they’re in. They believe they deserve that space. They believe that they're worth the gaze of another person’s eyes; worth being heard by another person’s ear; worth being admired by another person’s ego. They believe they’re worth being seen.

And, you know, it translates. Into long, leggy strides. Self-assured shoulders. Valiant faces. Daring eyes. And very few apologies as they move through life, blessing every space with their presence instead of apologizing for it.

How would you feel if you bought milk as an Italian woman today?
How would you sit in your chair at a business meeting?
How would you enter a room—any room?
And, how might it affect the way you do business? Ask for money? Negotiate contracts? Assert yourself? Write the check? Open the door? And stand in a way that tells the world that you are worthy?

You don’t have to be an Italian woman to own the room.

But you do have to learn how to own yourself.

Nov 7

2015

Your Hatred is Wisdom

Nov 7, 2015

What is it? The thing you sighed with relief about this morning? The thing you didn’t have to do on a Saturday? The thing you exhaled about? (And maybe even shimmied around the room naked over. With this You Tube video playing. And at least two neighbors cursing you to hell.) That’s the thing.  Pay very close […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Jun 19

2017

I Wrote This For The Ones Who Care What They Might Think

Jun 19, 2017

“Oh, but they’re going to say ________________________.” That I’m not really as smart as I think I am.That I think I’m better than them, now.That I’m putting on a show. Good news: you can stop micro-managing all the thoughts that don’t belong to you, darling.  Their thoughts belong to them, just like their children do. You […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Dec 28

2012

Forget Your Manners.

Dec 28, 2012

It’s polite to: …fulfill your obligations. …answer them back right away. …nod in agreement. …go with the flow. …do as you’re asked. …drink because they are. …take their call. …give your undivided attention. …fill the silence. …and always be there when they need you. Then again, no one’s ever done anything remarkable by always being […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Oct 21

2010

The Greatest Form of Suffering of All: Inaction

Oct 21, 2010

Once upon a time, I was feeling stuck. If my suspicions are correct, many of you reading this might feel the same way right now. You can’t get motivated. You aren’t excited about anything. You’re tired all of the time. Lifeless. Indifferent. Apathetic. You’ve stopped caring—about yourself, about your goals, about the things you used […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Jun 2

2015

When You’re Scrappy, You Don’t Give a Sh*t

Jun 2, 2015

I like the term scrappy. I’ve always pictured some femme fatale bobbing and weaving and diving and contorting herself into any number of ways to get the one and only job done that she’s there to do: Win. It reminds me of my favorite Will Smith quote (oh, you don’t have a favorite Will Smith quote?) “The […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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