ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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When You Feel Worthy of Being Seen…It Shows

In: Finding Your Voice

 

Let me tell you what: American women may have Victoria’s Secret, but Italian women have another secret altogether.

You know it by the way she holds her head a little higher than yours, eyes on fire, gliding down the god damn sidewalk as if her and Mother Nature were tag teaming.

It is not just confidence—though confidence is plainly written across her shoulders—nor arrogance, judging by the way she laughs with her entire body alongside her friends in the piazza. Rather, it’s the secret of Italian women—as I’m witnessing here while I’m in Italy this week—and it’s wrapped in a stylish red trench coach and a pair of oversized sunglasses, whispering the words, “And I’m not even trying.”

We desperately need to all take a page out of her book purse. Contrast that image with the average American woman, and you know what you see, instead?

Eyes averted. Head down. Guarded demeanor. And trying so hard to withdraw herself from having to speak to anyone, or smile at anyone, or dare find herself vulnerable, or judged, or even seen.

The secret of Italian women is that they like to be seen.

They don’t withdraw—they own the space they’re in. They believe they deserve that space. They believe that they're worth the gaze of another person’s eyes; worth being heard by another person’s ear; worth being admired by another person’s ego. They believe they’re worth being seen.

And, you know, it translates. Into long, leggy strides. Self-assured shoulders. Valiant faces. Daring eyes. And very few apologies as they move through life, blessing every space with their presence instead of apologizing for it.

How would you feel if you bought milk as an Italian woman today?
How would you sit in your chair at a business meeting?
How would you enter a room—any room?
And, how might it affect the way you do business? Ask for money? Negotiate contracts? Assert yourself? Write the check? Open the door? And stand in a way that tells the world that you are worthy?

You don’t have to be an Italian woman to own the room.

But you do have to learn how to own yourself.

Mar 20

2014

I Brought 20 Hookers to Central America on Business.

Mar 20, 2014

I sloshed on yet another layer of gloss, steering frantically with one hand while trying not to rear end a truck full of cows. I mean, what would I tell the Life Hooky group? “We didn’t pick you up at the airport in San Jose because, see, there were these cowsssssss.” Even I would think I […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Nov 11

2010

You (Still) Don’t Need a Job.

Nov 11, 2010

MYTH: You think to yourself:  “You are no Chris Guillebeau; you should just go find a job.” –Fear expressed from an actual reader email If you’ve fallen into the trap of thinking you aren’t interesting enough, not smart enough, not savvy enough, not fill-in-the-blank enough, you’re, first, wrong, and second, ignorant of the way the […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Jul 31

2014

Anytime You Question Yourself, Promise Yourself Better Answers.

Jul 31, 2014

You ever do that thing where you’re about to start that business, write that book, ask for that advance, release that product, pitch that service, or maybe just tell your boyfriend you want to try anal…and then you hesitate? Flinch? Get nervous? Worried? Scared that the response is going to be something like, “WHAT ARE […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Oct 8

2015

Look, We’ve All Got Our Faults. *Stomps Cigar*

Oct 8, 2015

Look, we’ve all got our faults. I, for one, have a wrinkly ass neck. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know when it happened. But all the sudden there are lines as deep as the Panama Canal cutting across my trachea. Fortunately, all the resveratrol I’ve consumed over the years seems to have […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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Jun 8

2017

A Tiger Doesn’t Ask Permission of the Gazelles to Sprint

Jun 8, 2017

Stop giving a shit about the stats. So you don’t have any subscribers? Who cares—you don’t need subscribers to put your best work out into the world. You don’t even need a website. Just start. Surprise—I’ve had a few thousand people unsubscribe since I started doing daily emails. Guess what? I’m doing it, anyway, full […]

In: Finding Your Voice

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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