ASH AMBIRGE

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Live Alive, Not Just a Life: Guidelines for Rebelling Against “Reality”

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

1. Be daring.
True living is more than just keeping your heart beating and a roof over your head. Don't fool yourself into thinking that is “just how life goes.” There are way more possibilities, and, yes, IT IS WORTH GOING AFTER.

2. Be confident.
We get so upset when others blow off our ideas and desires, but we have no problem doing it to ourselves. Take your ideas, feelings, wants, wishes, yearns & urges seriously: those are your only true guide. Other people have no idea what's best for you, so stop seeking their validation.

3. Be inquisitive.
Stop doing everything by the book: it's time to start drafting your own revised edition. Rules don't always exist in the name of the greatest good; more often than not, they exist because someone wants to establish or maintain power. And that's just not a good enough reason. 

4. Be deliberate.
Life is a series of choices. You choose every single direction that your life takes. Use that to your advantage.

5. Be brave.
There will be people out there who won't support what you're doing. Who cares?

6. Be introspective.
Figure out what you value, and make the necessary changes to align your life with those values. If you value time more than money, stop working 60 hour work weeks. The only way you'll get more time, is by doing less. (MATH.)

7. Be prudent.
Speaking of money, IT ISN'T AS IMPORTANT AS WE'RE TAUGHT TO THINK IT IS. Money comes, and money goes, and it provides little value itself until you actually exchange it for something that is valuable to you. So, ask yourself that question. What do you value? That's where the majority of the money you spend should be going.

8. Be zealous.
No one ever won any awards for having good intentions.

9. Be panoramic.
In the scheme of things, if you're going to be late to work, it doesn't really matter. If you don't get an A, it doesn't really matter. If you're proven wrong about something, it doesn't really matter. Relax, and enjoy the ride. Will this matter in 100 years?

10. Be lighthearted.
The world is not judging you as much as you think they are. Most people are too wrapped up in themselves to even notice what you're doing.

11. Be stimulated.
Perhaps one of the greatest goals we can seek for ourselves is exhilaration. Are you enthralled by your life?

12. Be thoughtful.
Thinking about canceling on an invitation to a friend's baby shower or birthday party because you have too much work to do?  Don't. Your friend is more important; work can always be done later. Nothing is that urgent. Relationships, however, are your foundation.

13. Be relentless.
You don't just need to love yourself; you need to respect yourself, too. And the way you garner that respect is by doing the things you've set out to do.

14. Be courageous.
Being content with your life and being proud to call it yours are two different things.

15. Be delighted.
Last but not least, wine should be drank with meals. Preferably Malbec. It's freaking delicious.

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So I’m not sure what you did yesterday, but I, for one, witnessed somebody drown. You’re probably thinking I’m joking, because who mentions something like drowning so nonchalantly? But I am not, unfortunately, joking. And while I’m calm now, yesterday I was anything but. It was sunset, and I was with my Costa Rican girlfriends […]

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You know why we’re all unhappy and restless and jaded and depressed? LIFE IS BORING US TO TEARS. Boredom is the devil, but most people don’t realize they’re bored. They’re busy working. They’re busy running. They’re busy doing ALL THE ERRANDS and keeping up with those fucksticks, The Jones’. It doesn’t feel like they’re bored, […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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He sat in the far corner of the room–no clip board, no notepad, no smile. I couldn’t make out his face–the room was dark and the curtains were drawn. I waited for Al Pacino to bust down the door, cigar in hand. I was seated near the door, at a table, with a woman named […]

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Where’s Your God Damn Pineapple?

There’s always a reason why you shouldn’t. Shouldn’t spend the money. Shouldn’t be so frivolous. Shouldn’t miss work. Shouldn’t be irresponsible. Shouldn’t act so hastily. And a million other reasons why you shouldn’t do what you’ve been wanting to do. The real question, of course, isn’t whether you should or you shouldn’t. Because when it […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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I Hate Mantras, And YET—I Love This One for When You’re Kinda Sorta Shitting Your Pants

I have a mantra (despite wanting to slit my throat upon hearing the word “mantra.”) Are you ready? My mantra is this: WHO CARES HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT? GO ANYWAY. Which sounds really kinda wrong, right? We’re a culture based on f-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-i-n-g-s. But sometimes, you have to override the ones that I call false […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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WE ARE WASTING OUR BRAINS ON BULLSHIT (And Other Darling Sentiments)

You know those creeps who never drink any water and you’re all, “BUT YOUR CELLS! YOUR CELLS ARE SHRIVELING LIKE LITTLE CALIFORNIA RAISINS!”  (Unless this is the kind of thing that only goes through my brain, in which case, welcome to my inner landscape, ya’ll.) I feel the same way about time. There are so many people who aren’t drinking […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Education & Wage Slavery: Hand In Hand?

A no-nonsense look at the education system’s hidden agenda–why we’re being taught what to think, instead of how to think, and how this affects not only us, but the bigger picture at hand. Put on your thinking caps for this one. (P.S. Please don’t egg my house if this makes you angry.)

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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