Oh my. I've just done something terrible.
I mean, good terrible, but still pretty terrible. Is that a category? CAN THAT BE A CATEGORY? For the truth is that I, Ashley E. Ambirge, have just spent a lot of money—like, to the tune of fifteen-hundred baloneys a lot of money—on something I absolutely just impulsed purchased…that's going to seem ridiculous when I say it…but I'm going to say it anyway.
I just spent fifteen-hundred dollars on…
A fucking mirror. Except, it's not just any mirror! And it's not Snow White's mirror mirror on the wall! (Though it IS rather magical.) This mirror? This mirror is a fuck-you mirror. At least, that's what I'm calling it. You know, like a fuck-you car? When you see a car that's just oozing with so much sex and money and rock and roll? That's what this mirror is. And every person who enters my house will say, “Nice mirror,” and I'm gonna say, “thanks, it's my fuck-you mirror!” And they're going to be like WHAT? And then…? And then I'm going to turn it on.
Oh, will I turn it on. Because that's the beauty of this mirror. When it's off, it just looks like any other mirror. But when it's on? WHEN IT'S ON???? It's basically a real-life hologram (oxymoron?!) of a personal trainer, giving LIVE FITNESS CLASSES. Like a Peloton, but without needing to squeeze a giant bicycle into that one tiny little corner of your guest room.
I just about died when I saw it. I'm not an affiliate or anything—I just had to tell you. I had to tell you because I dropped 20 pounds last year when I was doing the SWEAT app, which I loooooove, but it is kinda awkward having to look down at your phone to see the next move. But this? This solves that. And I am so excited.
But wouldn't you know: this post actually has nothing to do with that.
Nope, nothing! Besides the fact that you should know that I'm about to go on a major fitness kick because, holy shit, we're T minus one month until the book drops. [HANDS FLYING UP TO CHEEKS EMOJI] And, and, and! I had a pre-interview with a major television network just on Tuesday, and suddenly I realized: omfg, every ex-boyfriend I've ever HAD is going to be seeing this!
Kidding, that's not what I was really thinking—but I mean, true? More importantly, though, I'm a big believer that if you want to feel confident, all you gotta do are the kinds of things that make you feel more confident. Isn't that crazy? To think! All this time we're running around here going, “Ughhhh, but I don't feel very confident! I want to shrink into the background!” as if this were something completely outside of our control. But it's no big mystery. All you gotta do are the things you know make you feel more confident when you do them. For me? Exercise is 10,000% one. I want more confidence? I exercise. It's free! It's right there, like rubbing a genie! Another thing I do is get out there and HANDLE IT. “It” meaning something I've been procrastinating doing, but need to do. Because once I do it? I feel sooooo much better. So much more powerful! Like, whoa, look at me, I didn't just do tricep dips: I made a sales page and I launched it and WHAT? COME AT ME, BRO.
So anyway, I just spent $1500 on confidence. Not a bad investment—especially when you consider the return. The more confident you are, the more you show up. A person who does not want to be seen stops doing things worth noticing—and god is that the saddest thing. We have all been there. It's my job to keep us from going there as much as possible.
Yes, us. You, in your inbox. Me, typing this email. Us.
So anyway! On this topic:
a) I'd love to be on your podcast or do a video with you for your blog or social to promote the book launch the week of February 11th!
Send me an email to ash [at] themiddlefingerproject [dot] org! You don't have to have a big list or a huge following or something. [eye roll to that] And you don't have to be scared like I'm going to assess whether you're “important” enough. EW. You are so important to me, whoever you are. And I'm having so much fun having these conversations with people! But so many folks I'm getting on interviews with are like, omg, I was soooooo nervous to send you this email. But please don't be! It's me! I grew up in a trailer park, for god's sake. (Can I say that enough? No, I cannot.) I want to talk to you. We can just bullshit. It doesn't have to be fancy. All I want to do is have a chance to talk to as many people I can about a book and message I care very much about. SO HOLLER.
b) Video freaks people out. So do podcasts.
And you might not have either of those. But! If you'd like to send me over a few Q's in the form of a written interview? I will so answer them for you, and you can use it as content to publish to your email list or blog or social or your personal freaking FB page, for all I care. Seriously, let's do this! As long as you're down to publish the week of February 11th to help a girl catch a bone? I'm game for whatever questions you got. Send me a note to ash [at] themiddlefingerproject [dot] org with your Q's and subject line “written interview.” Or whatever you want to say.?
c) If you're like, yes, except I have no idea what to ask?!
I'm going to be making a giant mothership Q&A so you can pick and pull and choose from there and publish to your social or your email list or your whatever y' got. Will send that along tomorrow or Monday if you want to just pop it on your calendar to publish on February 11th! Even just a note telling your peeps about the book. Whatever you want to share, I would SO KISS YOU ON THE MOUTH.
d) Have you pre-ordered a copy for your bestie yet?
The book comes out riiiiiight before Galentine's Day, on February 11th—and it's hot pink! Wouldn't that be the cutest prezzie to surprise them with? I'm asking because I know a lot of peeps are like, “oh, I'll just buy it when it comes out,” which obviously I would be sooooo grateful for, however! If you know you're gonna buy it, I would 10,000% appreciate the pre-order, because all of the bookstores are looking at pre-order numbers right now to decide whether or not they're going to stock it, how many they're going to buy, etc.—and also places like TV networks look at these things, too, to determine if something is “worthy” of America. And gosh, while I'm totally going to have some imposter syndrome about THAT, if small-town girls across the nation (and world) see this, it will help them see themselves. It will help them go, go, go. And god do I want that. More than I want vain metrics like bestseller lists. This is not about that—it's about trying like hell to shine up a bat signal so other folks in positions of leverage can take a chance on us. So, if you haven't pre-ordered yet, will you now? And if you have, will you also pre-order one now for your friend for Galentine's Day? It'll show up RIGHT ON TIME and you'll look like the most thoughtful friend on the planet. [wide grin]
Okay, I'm off to hop on another interview! This time with @shelf_aware_ to talk booooooks for her new podcast. This morning it was for students at Texas State University who are taking a “Freelancing for Media Majors” course! Isn't that neat? The lecturer pitched it to the university herself when she realized it was something she wished she had learned when she was in college. And now? She's teaching it. See what happens when you start making the world offers? Crazily enough, the world will respond.❤️
Thanks for responding to me, always, by opening these emails, by sending me DMs on Insta, by inviting me to hang with your gang, and for taking a chance on me and on yourself, always. You know we fucking got this!
And P.S. If you missed the big book cover reveal on my Instagram, head over there and click on the highlight that says “The Book.” I legit sound like a crazy person. So many people were like, “I loved your reaction!” and then were like, um, why were you wearing that creepy hood? Are you trying to be Rocky? To which I responded, um, obviously—aren't you?
Kidding. Only one friend ragged me about my hood. But, YOU KNOW.