ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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No, I Don’t Want to Be in Your Tribe.

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

“No, I don't want to be in your tribe. I'm not your minion, and I'm not a cow.” -@ateegarden on Twitter.

The internet popularized the concept of “finding your tribe,” and while Seth Godin's book by the same name is right on the money, the term itself has become cliché, stale, trite, boiler plate, and fucking offensive.

…As has everything else the internet's talking about in its little circle jerk.

I'm tired of seeing my Twitter feed, my blog reader, and every single “newsletter” that comes into my inbox be another vomit party of #sameshitdifferentday. I'm tired of seeing yet another call to, “live your best life!” (give me a break), or “Join the tribe!”

It's not because those things aren't valuable in and of themselves. Do I want to live my best life? Absolutely. Do I want to feel like I belong somewhere? Yeah. Yeah, I do. We all do.

The problem is that we've stopped looking for creative, fresh new ways to express the value we're bringing to the table. The problem is that people have gotten lazy. The problem is, even though they desperately want you to join their tribe (likely so they can sell you something later), they can't come up with a more interesting, respectful, useful way to describe why anyone should actually care…nor doing anything to MAKE anyone actually care…and instead, take the sloppy way out, using whatever the buzzword of the day might be.

But you know what happens when you use the same buzzwords as everybody else?

You become just like everybody else.

And if you're just like everybody else, then you don't have a tribe. You've got a tribute.

Because real tribes?

Have real leaders. 

Jul 20

2015

The Real Trick to Brilliant Writing

Jul 20, 2015

You know what makes for brilliant writing? Not what you say, but the way you say it. The execution. The way you jockey your message onto a page. There are 354 different ways to tell any story. (Exact figure, give or take a few thousand or so.) You can start at the beginning, or you […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

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Mar 4

2016

How to Stop Writing With a Stick Up Your Ass

Mar 4, 2016

One of the things I get asked about forty hundred times a day (besides whether or not I know there’s a hair sprouting from my chin) is this: Where’s the line between personality and unprofessional? Because apparently I’m known for walking the line between mental inspiration and mental institution—as every writer worth their weight should. […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

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Jul 15

2014

No, I Don’t Want to Be in Your Tribe.

Jul 15, 2014

“No, I don’t want to be in your tribe. I’m not your minion, and I’m not a cow.” -@ateegarden on Twitter. The internet popularized the concept of “finding your tribe,” and while Seth Godin’s book by the same name is right on the money, the term itself has become cliché, stale, trite, boiler plate, and fucking offensive. …As […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

READ ME >>

Jan 30

2014

Why Screaming Won’t Get You Heard.

Jan 30, 2014

You know when you’re in a group of people… …and you start telling a story, and that one jerkoff starts talking over you, hollering at the waitress mid-sentence, or answering the phone, or by turning to say something to somebody else, and then all of the sudden you don’t really know if you’re suppose to […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

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Jan 11

2013

How to Sell Anything In One Paragraph Or Less

Jan 11, 2013

What if I told you I could sell anything in one paragraph or less? (Stop glancing skeptically at the screen. I can see up your nose.) You know what kind of paragraph I’m talking about–the sorely neglected, overlooked and undervalued product description. *cue tambourine and this song* Product descriptions have the power to make or […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

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May 31

2013

Why Your Writing Sucks.

May 31, 2013

There’s a lot of horse shit going around the internet these days about “writing from the heart” and eliciting emotion in your readers/audience/customers/landlords. Okay, so not landlords. And you get it. You know it’s important. Because nobody wants to buy from a faceless mime. But what you don’t know is how to actually do it. […]

In: Creative Writing for the Internet

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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