ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

Learn More >>

Seduce Me And I’m Yours. Your Customer, That Is.

In: Online Marketing

So, I'm a huge salsa fan.

The love affair began nearly 10 years ago, when I first traveled to Costa Rica on an exchange program. His name was Alejandro, and he was the first boy to ever ask for my hand on the dance floor.

He was golden tan with dark blue eyes, and long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. If there were a white stallion somewhere near by, it would have seemed perfectly normal for him to be riding it–he had that whole surfer-meets-Fabio look going for him. Fucking typical, right?

“But…but…I don't know how to dance salsa…” I replied, nervous apprehension oozing all over my face.

“I'll teach you,” he responded confidently, looking me in the eyes and extending his hand. (Of course that's how it went, right?)

I stood up, and slowly but surely, painful step after another, Alejandro and his blonde ponytail oh-so-gently took my Latin dance virginity….while I pretty much just sweated all over him.

We danced for hours that night.

From that point on, anytime I heard salsa music, I would get this stupid grin on my face…and watch with envy as Costa Rican girls with hips that naturally moved in circles effortlessly glided around on the dance floor.

One time, I saw an American girl dancing incredibly well, and it pissed me right off. If she can do it, I can fucking do it. (For the record, I couldn't. Not at all.)

You see, I'm a clumsy starter. That's the name I've given myself.

When I first learn a new skill, I'm pretty fucking bad at it. Then, however, once the learning curve is up, I become pretty fucking amazing at it. Take volleyball, for instance. In middle school, when I started, I was the *worst* player on the team. My coach told me much later she never, ever thought I'd make it. As it turns out, I ended up becoming varsity captain, starting at state championships, and earning Server of the Year. (Coach Dean, I know you're reading this. Your ass better back me up on that.)

Anyway, the point is that salsa dancing was very much the same.

I'm not a pro by any means, but compared to what I looked like when I first started, holy difference. Which brings me to the real point of this entire post.

La Alemana and Ataca.

Those are their stage names, and they *are* pros. Here's them dancing the bachata, which is one of my favorite Latin dances ever. (Yes, you should really watch it.)

And here's the deal. I love La Alemana. I love the way she dances (classy and confident), and I love the urban twist she puts on her moves. Furthermore, the chemistry she has with Ataca is just unreal. She's got her own style going on.

In essence, she's my idol.

That being said, if they were to run a salsa + bachata dance retreat, I would fly virtually anywhere, and pay virtually anything to attend.

Which is funny, because realistically, I can learn advanced salsa and bachata from anyone. It's not like La Alemana is the only one who knows the dance. I can learn it from anyone.

But…it's not anyone that I want.

It's her.

And I'd be willing to pay top dollar to train with her.

And that, my friends, is the art of personal branding. For *real* personal branding–not just bullshit personal branding because it's a hip concept these days.

And that's why it's so fucking important that when you're running your business, you give people a REASON to want to buy from YOU. Not just anyone. YOU.

What are you bringing to the table that others aren't? What's so special about you? Why would I be dying to go to *your* retreat, and not someone else's? How are you going to seduce me, as your customer?

Some might call this a USP (unique selling proposition), but screw that.

Coming up with the perfect sentence and proceeding to include it on all of your communications isn't going to get you the business that you need. It's about EMBODYING that sentence. Embodying that proposition. It's about the DOING–and not just the doing, but the doing in YOUR WAY.

That's not some lofty luxury for those who have already experienced success like most people tend to think–rather, doing it your way is a crucial element for those just getting started NOW.

You have to do things your way. If you want clients, you have no choice. That's not being selfish or short-sighted–that's being genius.

GIVE ME A REASON TO WANT YOU, and no one else.

GIVE ME A REASON TO CRAVE YOU, and no one else.

GIVE ME A REASON TO BEG TO GIVE YOU MY MONEY, and no one else.

SEDUCE ME, and I'm yours.

And when you do that right, you'll never have to compete on price.

At the end of the day, the *real* value you bring to the table isn't so much in the service you provide–it's the way you provide it. A seduction, if you will.

Anyone can do what you do–remember that.

But no one–and I mean no one–can do it the way that you can.

As long as you're living up to your own potential, that is.

And doing things your way.

Go on. Embody that shit.

Jan 18

2013

Butt Paste–And How It’ll Help You Market Yourself Better.

Jan 18, 2013

Last night, I bought three tubes of something called Butt Paste.  You’re probably thinking the same thing that the 19 year old male cashier was. Try making that transaction with a straight face. But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, after all. And this girl is headed to The Bahamas tomorrow with […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Jan 27

2015

You Can’t Sell Tickets to The Titanic if You’re Marketing it as a Rowboat

Jan 27, 2015

Like it or not, people do judge a book by its cover. And that cover happens to include the words on the front. There’s a palpable difference between the words, “hire me” versus “engagement fees.” There’s also a difference between “buy now” and “apply now.” (Even though those “apply now” snobs drive me insane.) And there’s a difference between, “Cost: […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Dec 11

2011

Why You SHOULD Sweat the Small Stuff. (Free Puma Included.)

Dec 11, 2011

Yesterday, I was certain I was going to die.  Not just on one occasion, but two. The first instance was when I agreed to ride an ancient, rusty, rickety, RIDICULOUS ski lift up the side of a volcano. Vollll. Caaaaa. Noooo. Obviously that’s what you do when you’re in Patagonia with a group of friends–ride […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Oct 19

2018

Make 50% of the Population Hate You

Oct 19, 2018

“Make 50% of the population hate you.” My editor reminded me of this the other day when we were talking about the main argument of my book. (And then I immediately wanted to tongue her.) Because that’s what arguments do, after all: they stand in opposition to something. They take a stand, plant their flag, […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Jun 11

2014

The Devil Isn’t In The Details. Your Next Dollar Is.

Jun 11, 2014

I was seated in the exit row. And when you’re seated in the exit row, you’re obligated to at least pretend to pay attention to the flight safety video, as 300 other people glance over at you and think, “Great. So that’s the dingle berry in charge of our lives.” I didn’t want to watch […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

Aug 22

2017

Don’t Sell a Product—Sell a Person Their Identity

Aug 22, 2017

It’s been a while since I read the New York Times Insider subscription that I’ve been paying for since 2015. It’s $45 dollars month, so from time-to-time, I think to myself: Meh, guess I should cancel it. You know, to be a financially responsible person and all. (I’ve heard those are some good eggs, those […]

In: Online Marketing

READ ME >>

I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

Enter your email address and I’ll send you my advice column every week sharing everything I’ve learned—and so much more.

But no serial killers. I promise I won’t send those.

Privacy Policy Info Here