Author, CEO & Founder

Learn More >>

Seduce Me And I’m Yours. Your Customer, That Is.

In: Online Marketing

So, I'm a huge salsa fan.

The love affair began nearly 10 years ago, when I first traveled to Costa Rica on an exchange program. His name was Alejandro, and he was the first boy to ever ask for my hand on the dance floor.

He was golden tan with dark blue eyes, and long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. If there were a white stallion somewhere near by, it would have seemed perfectly normal for him to be riding it–he had that whole surfer-meets-Fabio look going for him. Fucking typical, right?

“But…but…I don't know how to dance salsa…” I replied, nervous apprehension oozing all over my face.

“I'll teach you,” he responded confidently, looking me in the eyes and extending his hand. (Of course that's how it went, right?)

I stood up, and slowly but surely, painful step after another, Alejandro and his blonde ponytail oh-so-gently took my Latin dance virginity….while I pretty much just sweated all over him.

We danced for hours that night.

From that point on, anytime I heard salsa music, I would get this stupid grin on my face…and watch with envy as Costa Rican girls with hips that naturally moved in circles effortlessly glided around on the dance floor.

One time, I saw an American girl dancing incredibly well, and it pissed me right off. If she can do it, I can fucking do it. (For the record, I couldn't. Not at all.)

You see, I'm a clumsy starter. That's the name I've given myself.

When I first learn a new skill, I'm pretty fucking bad at it. Then, however, once the learning curve is up, I become pretty fucking amazing at it. Take volleyball, for instance. In middle school, when I started, I was the *worst* player on the team. My coach told me much later she never, ever thought I'd make it. As it turns out, I ended up becoming varsity captain, starting at state championships, and earning Server of the Year. (Coach Dean, I know you're reading this. Your ass better back me up on that.)

Anyway, the point is that salsa dancing was very much the same.

I'm not a pro by any means, but compared to what I looked like when I first started, holy difference. Which brings me to the real point of this entire post.

La Alemana and Ataca.

Those are their stage names, and they *are* pros. Here's them dancing the bachata, which is one of my favorite Latin dances ever. (Yes, you should really watch it.)

And here's the deal. I love La Alemana. I love the way she dances (classy and confident), and I love the urban twist she puts on her moves. Furthermore, the chemistry she has with Ataca is just unreal. She's got her own style going on.

In essence, she's my idol.

That being said, if they were to run a salsa + bachata dance retreat, I would fly virtually anywhere, and pay virtually anything to attend.

Which is funny, because realistically, I can learn advanced salsa and bachata from anyone. It's not like La Alemana is the only one who knows the dance. I can learn it from anyone.

But…it's not anyone that I want.

It's her.

And I'd be willing to pay top dollar to train with her.

And that, my friends, is the art of personal branding. For *real* personal branding–not just bullshit personal branding because it's a hip concept these days.

And that's why it's so fucking important that when you're running your business, you give people a REASON to want to buy from YOU. Not just anyone. YOU.

What are you bringing to the table that others aren't? What's so special about you? Why would I be dying to go to *your* retreat, and not someone else's? How are you going to seduce me, as your customer?

Some might call this a USP (unique selling proposition), but screw that.

Coming up with the perfect sentence and proceeding to include it on all of your communications isn't going to get you the business that you need. It's about EMBODYING that sentence. Embodying that proposition. It's about the DOING–and not just the doing, but the doing in YOUR WAY.

That's not some lofty luxury for those who have already experienced success like most people tend to think–rather, doing it your way is a crucial element for those just getting started NOW.

You have to do things your way. If you want clients, you have no choice. That's not being selfish or short-sighted–that's being genius.

GIVE ME A REASON TO WANT YOU, and no one else.

GIVE ME A REASON TO CRAVE YOU, and no one else.


SEDUCE ME, and I'm yours.

And when you do that right, you'll never have to compete on price.

At the end of the day, the *real* value you bring to the table isn't so much in the service you provide–it's the way you provide it. A seduction, if you will.

Anyone can do what you do–remember that.

But no one–and I mean no one–can do it the way that you can.

As long as you're living up to your own potential, that is.

And doing things your way.

Go on. Embody that shit.

Oct 18


How to Get People to Pay You More With Just ONE WORD.

Oct 18, 2012

His name was Joe. Rightfully so, because Joe was in charge of customer service at the Honda Dealer in good ol’ Scranton, Pennsylvania. And, I don’t know, I just trust men named Joe. I mean, you don’t want some jerkoff named Tucker invoicing you, do you? You’d leave and there’d be a doodle of a […]

In: Online Marketing


Oct 11


How Dating Chilean Men Can Help You Succeed In Business. Kind of. And Why Bloody Noses Are Not Okay, Which Is Not Related to The Story At All, But You Should Read About It, Anyway.

Oct 11, 2011

So the other day there was a guy. Isn’t there always a guy? Anyway, the other day there was a guy, and I may or may not have been kissing said guy. Said guy is so attractive, that I’m almost nervous to be kissing him, because, as we all know, when you’re kissing really attractive […]

In: Online Marketing


Sep 14


A Quick Piece of (Marketing) Advice for Every Broke, Newbie Entrepreneur Who Doesn’t Have Two Cents to Rub Together (YET…)

Sep 14, 2017

A question I get a lot is: what a limited marketing budget, what’s the one thing you’d do? And my answer is this: I would talk. I would talk about it everywhere, in front of whoever will listen. The medium doesn’t matter—the fact that you’re out there talking does. Instagram videos. Twitter streams. Podcasts. Webinars. YouTube. […]

In: Online Marketing


Apr 24


How to Engineer an Effective Bribe—And Get the World to Do What You Want

Apr 24, 2017

Think about what makes for a great bribe. If you swing by the makeup counter at Nordstrom’s and the sales associate tells you that if you spend $100, she’s going to—drum roll—“give you something special,” that makes for a terrible bribe, because “something special” could be a used Q-Tip, for all we know, and if […]

In: Online Marketing


Oct 10


Why “Business As Usual” Is Usually Killing Your Business

Oct 10, 2012

Fun is underrated. It’s no longer enough to do a good job, provide good customer service or deliver on time. Those things aren’t competitive advantages; they’re the expectation. And since they’re the expectation, you’re not impressing anyone. What isn’t always the expectation, however, is how fun it’ll be to do business with you. Not just pleasant. […]

In: Online Marketing


Jun 27


Looks Aren’t Superficial When It Comes to Making Money

Jun 27, 2017

So I buy these B12 supplements the other day—BECAUSE APPARENTLY MY BODY IS ALL, OH, VITAMIN B, HAHA, THAT’S CUTE—and it comes in this sturdy little bottle that feels very important, and I’m all excited because obviously I think that I’m doing a good deed slash being a responsible adult. So I go to open […]

In: Online Marketing


Apr 24


Tired of Being Told To “Differentiate Yourself?”

Apr 24, 2013

Everyone tells you to be unique. Find your USP. Differentiate yourself. (Meanwhile, you’re all, “Stab, stab stab, I’m the same, I’m the same, I’m the same – how am I suppose to “differentiate” life coaching?) And so you take a drink, because these are the types of things that drive people to drink, and you […]

In: Online Marketing


Exclusive VIP Access

Enter your email to start your own middle finger project and get all sorts of colorful inspiration + know-how straight into your inbox to help you quit your job, do what you love, and start the side hustle of your dreams.

Don’t worry, there will be plenty of f-bombs.

Privacy Policy Info Here