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The Gap Between Intention + Success. Your Mission: Ride ‘Er Buck Wild

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired


I'm not going to start this post with, “Happy Thanksgiving–turkeys and corn and pilgrims blah blah blah.” That would be far too predictable.

I'm also not going to talk about giving thanks, either, because you and I both know you're reading about that on every blog ever made today, and I certainly don't want to be the one responsible for you blowing your brains out during a family holiday.

Or ever, really.

<insert the voice of the most annoying female you know, preferably high-pitched and nasal-ey>

I'm, like, really, like, grateful for, like, Starbucks.

Shut it, Tinkerbell. Go watch a TED talk or something.


I *am* going to take the opportunity to go out on a limb here, however, and guess that since it *is* that time of year, you're probably thinking how I think when I go on a diet:

Eh!  I'll just start tomorrow….since, you know, today is pretty much shot.

But instead of talking about my fat ass diets, we're talking about freedom. Your freedom. As in, your biz-nass.

Has this thought crossed your mind, by chance?

Eh!  I'll just start in 2012…since, you know, this year is pretty much shot.




(Don't worry. I can't make soup, anyway.)

It's weird how that works–diets, business, men, whatever.  You always want what you can't have. (I'm especially guilty of this.) But the minute you can have it–and it's right at your finger tips–you stop caring so much.

But I'd like to remind you to do yourself a favor.


If not about the men *wink*, your livelihood. Your dignity. Your pride. Your word to yourself.

In London when you're in The Tube, a very proper recording comes on, telling you to “mind the gap”–the space in between the platform and the train itself.

But today you can forget that pretentious British bitch. Today it's me telling you to mind the gap–a different gap. The dangerous place in between intention and success, where everything has the potential to go really wrong…or maybe really right.


And when I say depending, what I really mean to say is…

Depending on you.

Watch the self-sabotage.

Act with fierce intention.

Sometimes, when we're thisclose to getting what we hoped for, we take our foot off the gas because…what if, once we arrive, everything we spent years hoping for…shatters our fragile expectations and turns out to be a big, aching disappointment? Then what do we do?

Unfortunately, I can't tell you the answer to that.

But I can tell you this.

Everything you've been fighting for is about to make its grand debut.

That breakthrough you've been waiting for? It's coming.

That client you've been needing? They're on their way. (Unless you've been hoping for David Hasselhoff in which case, you're probably screwed.)

You officially have 36 days left in this year.

That's 864 hours.

51,840 minutes.

3,110,400 seconds.

Many, many moments.

And one opportunity.

So, who are you going to be?

Not in a month from now. Not in 2012. But right here. Today. Now. In the present.

Are you gonna be the one that yells, “yee-haw, baby,” and rides that opportunity for all it's worth?

Or are you gonna be the one whose greatest claim to fame is that they once tried to start a business and live life on their own terms, but it didn't really pan out because life just kinda got in the way.

You pick.

You decide.

Thanksgiving Day doesn't count. (I know you're busy eating slash eating slash eating, and that's a good thing.)

Neither does your birthday.

Or National Cotton Candy Day, which, in fact, happens to fall on December the 7th. Cross my heart and hope to die stick a needle in my eye.

Just don't forget to put your beer down at some point over the next couple weeks, and remember why you got into this game in the first place–and that you're still in it. Very much so.

You're this close.

Don't trip and fall on your face.

Mind the gap.

Mind the gap.

Mind the gap.

Jan 24


On Getting Old, Having No Idea How to Make a Soufflé & Consciously Choosing to Do What You WANT.

Jan 24, 2016

It’s 2:42 in the morning and the reason I’m awake is called CHARDONNAY. People talk about getting old—buying crock pots, nonchalantly cutting your spouse’s armpit hairs, relating more to The Golden Girls than The Gilmore Girls—but they do not prepare you for the one thing that will change your life even more than tiny packets of GrillMates: […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired


Nov 6


It’s Okay If You Suck At This. Otherwise Called, “Permission to Suck.” Otherwise Called, “Longest Blog Post Title Ever Because Obnoxiously Long Blog Post Titles Are Funny.”

Nov 6, 2011

It’s okay if…you’re drowning in self-doubt. It’s okay if…you don’t know where to start. It’s okay if…you started, but want to stop. It’s okay if…you sometimes mix up your priorities. It’s okay if…you didn’t say the right thing. It’s okay if…you really fucked up the first time around. It’s okay if…you fucked up the second time […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired


Mar 9


Blow Off Work Today. That’s An Order.

Mar 9, 2012

I’ve been thinking about joy lately. I don’t particularly care for the word; every word has its own personality, and the word joy seems to conjure up an image of an old lady with dentures and pearls. The word just feels outdated. Mothballesque, if you will. Nevertheless, the concept remains. It’s stuck in my mind ever […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired


Jun 9


The World Isn’t Your Mommy

Jun 9, 2017

You know what’s crazy? There’s not actually a team of people assigned to your life, sitting around monitoring your blood work, and your bank accounts, and the health of your relationships, jotting down notes, circling areas of concern. There’s no supervisor. No one checking your progress. No one setting quarterly reviews. As a result, we […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life


Nov 18


The Woman Whose Ass We All Should Be Kissing

Nov 18, 2010

If I had a foghorn, do you know what I’d shout? (Besides how I’ll never understand why so many people think that God is actually a compelling justification for their particular policy preferences. /rant) What I’d really shout—what I truly believe our people desperately need to hear—is this and this alone: The well-being of our […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired


Jul 30


On NOT “Following Your Dreams”

Jul 30, 2010

You know, this whole “follow your dreams” thing is getting a little old, right? Coming from me, that’s probably surprising. But the problem is that so much of it is fluff. So much out there encourages you to start “living the life of your dreams,” while frolicking on a big white puffy cloud and nibbling […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired


I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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