Does It Bring You Joy?

May 10

2013

Shit You Should Never Feel Guilty About, Ever. Plus At Least One Johnny Five Reference.

May 10, 2013

There are a few things we need to get straight. Shall I make a list? Because lists seem to be in. And lists also mean I don’t have to figure out creative ways to transition paragraphs and actually think COHESIVELY. Because who does that shit on Fridays? Not me. Thinking cohesively, I’m pretty sure, is […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Apr 22

2017

There’s a Modern Trick to Getting What You Want, These Days. Shhhh. Come Closer, I’ll Tell You What It Is.

Apr 22, 2017

What if I told you I was giving you your very own daily column, where you could write about anything you wanted? What if I told you I was giving you your own TV show, where you’d be the star? What if I told you I was putting you on the radio, where you could […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Sep 21

2018

Sometimes Wonderful Can Still Be Heavy

Sep 21, 2018

I love throwing sh*t out. Love, love, love, love, LOVE it. I throw out high heels and curtains, jewelry and fine china. (Okay so I don’t actually throw it out. I donate it. But the point is, it’s goneeeee.) It isn’t just the physical stuff: I’m also (creepily) good at throwing out old ideas, old identities, and old dreams. […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Dec 20

2010

Top 20 Reasons Why Travelers Have More Fun During the Holidays

Dec 20, 2010

1. Because watching people whose first language isn’t English, try to sing along with “Deck The Halls,” is hilarious. 2. Brazilian butts or Santa’s gut–you pick. 3. No more unhealthy fantasies about ripping that damn bell out of the hands of the skinny guy with the cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and sticking it […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Dec 26

2009

If You’re Wrinkly, It Better Have Been Worth It.

Dec 26, 2009

A letter to my future self where I ask some big, life-changing questions–are the things I ultimately expect out of life in line with my actions today?

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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May 19

2020

“The Money’s Too Good to Give Up” and Other Nonsense I am GOING TO SPANK WITH A JELLYFISH

May 19, 2020

I am in NO MOOD today. Nope, no mood for pussyfooting around—and don’t be offended by my usage of that word, as its etymology is related to little kitty cat paws, which are adorable and sweet, just 👏 like 👏 me. [Cue sinister laughter] There’s one thing I have had it with, and I’m about to get […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Hate Your Job?

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Jul 16

2011

When You Feel Like You Could Collapse + A Personal Favor

Jul 16, 2011

It’s the weekend. And being the weekend, I have an unconventional post for you. We’re entrepreneurs, right? And we’re all fighting hard to make our dreams come true, right? (Shut up, even though it sounds corny, it’s true and you damn well know it.) And sometimes it gets really fucking hard, right? Nevermind. I’ll get […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Oct 25

2018

Be Brave, Courageous, Interesting, Crazy, Difficult, Weird, and Downright Complicated. But Don’t You Ever Be Normal.

Oct 25, 2018

You know what’s fucked up? Normal. Normal is so fucked up. For example, it’s normal for expats to drink daily in Costa Rica. This is a terrible idea, and yet, because it’s done over and over again, it’s become normalized. NO ONE WILL GIVE YOU THE STINK EYE FOR SLUGGING A BEER AT 10AM, Y’ALL. […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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May 26

2017

Funerals Happen Every Day When You’re Expanding

May 26, 2017

I watched the movie AWOL last night, and the truth is, it was just an average movie. But I was fascinated by it. I was fascinated by it because the movie is set in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, where I grew up, and everything from the trailer to working at the ice cream stand was the spitting […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Oct 28

2010

A Beautiful Mess: A Personal Manifesto of The Human Experience

Oct 28, 2010

I need my life to feel meaningful. I must work toward something I believe in. I want to create value. I want to be bold. I want to live up to my own expectations. And never settle unless I choose to. I want to be exhilarated by every single day. And be in awe of […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Jan 15

2013

Your Life in 6 Words.

Jan 15, 2013

Remember that one time I got loose, drank too much eggnog* and packaged everything together in the TMF store for a wild, wild west of a discount–and then told all continental U.S. buyers that I’d even take it a step further and send a surprise to their doorstep? Right. That time. Just last month for […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Sep 10

2012

Time Doesn’t “Get Away From You.” Your Dignity Does. BE SOMEBODY, DAMMIT.

Sep 10, 2012

Can we talk about the fact that I dislocated my thumb this weekend while trying to pull up my pantyhose? Who does that happen to? Surely Princess Di never had these types of problems. But me, certainly, and I’ll tell you why: Because those pantyhose were way too fucking small for that thing I got […]

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