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Boo-Yah, Time to Raise Your Rates! Here’s a Proven Script You Can Use (That Won’t Even Make It a Little Bit Awkward)

In: WTF Do I Say?

Haiiiiiiiiii! It's December, and you know what that means!


You need to send the following email to your clients RIGHT NOW. (Like, right now. Especially because today is Friday, and this email is always served best on a Friday with a beer.)

Now then. *clears throat* This miraculous email that you're going to write, that you're almost kind of shitting a brick to write, but that you're going to write anyway because you are a strong, wise, smart, self-respecting business woman, should read as follows (reference to Batman's stanky breath optional):

Hi, Client!

Jingle bells, Batman smells, and gingerbread is DELICIOUS. Wanted to pop into your box to let you know that—yay!—we're surprising all of our fab-o past and present clients with a little holiday cheer:

(1) Here are some intoxicated reindeer. (Always motivational.)

(2) Andddd—ready for it?



Book any new project / package for 2019 before the 31st, and we'll make sure Santa applies our 2018 rates (even if the work doesn't commence until June. Or, hey, OCTOBER, let's go crazy.). That's for you and only you, because #WELOVEYOU and we want you to have all of the priority scheduling for the new year before new incoming clients sink their teeth into our calendar. That said, the new year will be bringing some ch-ch-ch-changes, as usual, so any new work booked after Jan 1 will be billed according to our shiny new rate schedule, attached [or you can say “forthcoming”]. Keep that bad boy for your records!

If there's anything we can do for you in the meantime, please do give a shout. We'd love to hear from you! (And, not for anything, but we bet you can't top that reindeer GIF.)

Happiest holidays and the warmest, creepiest tub of figgy pudding,


Cue Montel Jordan: This is how we dooo ittttttt. 

P.S. Love this script? There's more where that came from! Get my whole bundle of scripts right on over here.



“How do I raise my rates without making it awkward?”

Well isn’t this the motherloving question of the year. It gets asked a lot sometime between the stages of that time you started your business and worked for peanuts because you were feeling wildly insecure about your worth and holy bananas I’ve been doing this for years and I’m still barely making rent even though I […]

In: WTF Do I Say?




My Favorite Line for Handling Angry People With Dignity + Grace

“Why don’t you tell me what you think would be appropriate?” Useful language for handling complex situations like: A customer is unsatisfied. An employee is complaining. A friend is upset. Your sister is angry you don’t see her enough. A gorgeous Italian man is holding a very serious grudge because you denied his advances as […]

In: WTF Do I Say?


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