ASH AMBIRGE

Author, CEO & Founder

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How to Engineer an Effective Bribe—And Get the World to Do What You Want

In: Online Marketing

Think about what makes for a great bribe.

If you swing by the makeup counter at Nordstrom’s and the sales associate tells you that if you spend $100, she’s going to—drum roll—“give you something special,” that makes for a terrible bribe, because “something special” could be a used Q-Tip, for all we know, and if we don’t know what it is, we can’t want it.

Similarly, if you found yourself face-to-face with a dirty cop in rural Nevada, you probably wouldn’t look up at his sweet, glistening mustache and try to bribe him by offering him “something really awesome that you promise you'll mail to the police station later.”

Neither of these are effective for two reasons:

(a) They’re too vague and nobody knows what the hell you’re talking about
(b) The lack of specificity makes you seem like you’re full of it

Turns out, the key to offering an effective, well-executed bribe is a specific, concrete promise.

And we get that, when it comes to real-world scenarios. But the minute we get online, all of our common sense goes out the door. We start offering people “goodies” and “free updates” and “very vague things that may or may not happen in the future.”

But bribes on the Internet aren’t any different.

Specificity, not generosity, wins.

Oct 1

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Oct 1, 2013

Say you’re shopping for a diamond. “You’re shopping for a diamond.” (<—Anyone who just made that joke in their head is FIRED…but also sort of hilarious.) Popping over to Google, you search for the goods, pounding out “perfect diamonds” with your click-clacking fingers and hoping for the best. The result? Websites and websites and websites […]

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2013

Tired of Being Told To “Differentiate Yourself?”

Apr 24, 2013

Everyone tells you to be unique. Find your USP. Differentiate yourself. (Meanwhile, you’re all, “Stab, stab stab, I’m the same, I’m the same, I’m the same – how am I suppose to “differentiate” life coaching?) And so you take a drink, because these are the types of things that drive people to drink, and you […]

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Jun 11

2012

How to Get Your Message HEARD

Jun 11, 2012

So, I’m flying from Costa Rica to Ecuador this afternoon. I like to leave these little announcements on the blog in the event of my sudden (and unreported) death, kidnapping, violent torture and just to give my ex-boyfriends a little extra something to be bitter about. If I never post again, will someone at least […]

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Oct 19

2018

Make 50% of the Population Hate You

Oct 19, 2018

“Make 50% of the population hate you.” My editor reminded me of this the other day when we were talking about the main argument of my book. (And then I immediately wanted to tongue her.) Because that’s what arguments do, after all: they stand in opposition to something. They take a stand, plant their flag, […]

In: Online Marketing

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Jan 19

2012

I Want You. Now.

Jan 19, 2012

…yeah, you. Not so much in the, take-me-to-bed-tiger kind of way (that’s tomorrow. really. just wait.), but in a I-want-to-know-what-you-think kind of way. Not about the ozone. Or how much profanity I use. Or the fact that I apparently suck at responding to emails. (Shhhhhhhhh. I’m getting better!) I want to know what you think […]

In: Online Marketing

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Sep 6

2017

Marketing Is Fucking Weird, Isn’t It?

Sep 6, 2017

Marketing is fucking weird, isn’t it? Everyone’s really anxious about it all the time, and it makes lots of people go into hiding and never, ever, ever want to come out. (I think they imagine others looking at them and pointing and growling, “Youuuu dirty rotten slimmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.) But I gotta say: marketing gets really easy […]

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Jul 14

2011

Paris, Wankers + Marketing for Local Business Owners

Jul 14, 2011

So, I’m on a plane. I may or may not be drinking French wine from a miniature bottle that could really be bigger for seven dollars, but I mean, who’s really measuring? Don’t judge. I figure that between having never tried cigarettes, and having stuck up for the nerdy girl that one time in the […]

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I'm a Bad Influence on Women

Hey, I’m Ash! Twenty years ago I was a small town girl growing up in a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania. Fifteen years ago, I lost my family and everything I knew right as I became the first to graduate college. Fourteen years ago, I found myself leaving everything behind for a new life in the city where I could be “normal.” Ten years ago I realized normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me. Nine years ago I quit my job in advertising and pursued my dreams as a creative writer. Eight years ago, I built a 6-figure business doing what I love using nothing more than the Internet and my voice. And now, today, I’m the founder of The Middle Finger Project, an irreverent media co. that helps other women find their voice and teaches them to use it to build whatever the f*ck they want to. With a book coming out with Penguin Random House in February 2020 (YASSS, WE’RE A PRODUCT IN TARGET!) I’m proud to be a bad influence on women and guide them into doing something disobediently brave with their life and their career.

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