ASH AMBIRGE

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The World’s Most Unscholarly Summary of Quito, Ecuador, Ever. (Oh, and Photos.)

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

Like: Cobblestone

Dislike: Heels + hot coffee + cobblestone (oops)

Like: Free wifi in every plaza

Dislike: Thinking I should work in cafes in every plaza, and then getting hopelessly distracted by shirtless soccer players on TV (oops again)

Like: The equator

Dislike: Forgetting the bottle of wine to drink ON THE EQUATOR

Like: Kissing

Dislike: Kissing Ecuadorian men I, ahem, shouldn't

Like: Safety

Dislike: Car alarms that make me want to hurl myself out a window and onto a piercingly sharp broken beer bottle

Like: Stretching my comfort zone

Dislike: Sleeping in a roomful of  strange Argentinian men who turn on the light at 2am

Like: Public transportation

Dislike: Two hour bus rides with sweaty mules. Just kidding. There were no sweaty mules. But for the record, more blogs should make a habit of inappropriately inserting the word “mule” into their posts

Like: Exploring

Dislike: Signs like these

Like: Taking pictures

Dislike: Chicks named Ashley who pretend to write blog posts that are really just lists bragging about how much fun she's having, continuing on to post an assortment of  Instagram photos just because she's so happy she's exploring Ecuador she just can't help herself.

You don't mess with the arch.

 

…or anyone with hot pink lips.

 

I feel like there should be an antelope in this photo. Fail.

 

Because who doesn't make time to play in the park?

 

What'd you do today? Oh, you know. The usual. Woke up at 11. Ate ice cream on the equator at noon.

 

Why stand when you can lay? (That's what he said.)

 

…no, not him. But how badly do you want to give this man a hug?

 

We were proud of this photo. Both of us managed to look semi-human.

 

…and then there's this photo, which just needs to be shared because these fine young lads are Danish, and this might be the most disturbing photo I've ever taken.

 

Oh, you didn't want to see a picture of my leftover salad?

 

I think somebody took “dance like no one's watching” to a whole new level.

 

Look who's snapping candids now, Hepp!

 

Andddd my favorite of all. 

THE END.

Are you relieved?

May 3

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Listen: Do What You Crave Without the Guilt. Travel to Italy. Enroll in That Workshop. Make Your Art Every Afternoon. And Hurl Yourself Into the Unknown—For This Is The Best ROI That Money Can Buy.

My almost-mother-in-law gets really fucking nervous when I travel—especially when I bomb off to South America for a month by myself to drink ALL THE WINE and celebrate ALL THE BOOK DEALS. But she doesn’t get worried in the typical way a mother might; not the way my own mother would have been worried, which would […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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So, I’m sitting in the bar at this restaurant. I’m lovingly twirling my fork into a steamy, lemony, buttery, most delightfully angelic heap of angel hair–the creamy, makes-you-throw-your-head-back-with-glee kind of pasta that, I was thinking, should probably be forbidden for nuns, because, I swear, this pasta is far more decadent than the best sex you […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Feb 11

2010

Education & Wage Slavery: Hand In Hand?

A no-nonsense look at the education system’s hidden agenda–why we’re being taught what to think, instead of how to think, and how this affects not only us, but the bigger picture at hand. Put on your thinking caps for this one. (P.S. Please don’t egg my house if this makes you angry.)

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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May 31

2018

If Somebody Told Me to Pick a Husband at Age Twenty-Three, I’d Likely Be Waking Up Next to Some Guy Who Can’t Spell “Lemon.”

You know why we’re all unhappy and restless and jaded and depressed? LIFE IS BORING US TO TEARS. Boredom is the devil, but most people don’t realize they’re bored. They’re busy working. They’re busy running. They’re busy doing ALL THE ERRANDS and keeping up with those fucksticks, The Jones’. It doesn’t feel like they’re bored, […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired, Feeling Disillusioned With Life

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Jul 13

2010

Is It Your Own Fault?

I’ve been meeting a lot of truly smart, savvy, remarkable people lately. So many are saying to hell with the safety net, and are leaping toward their passions, and haven’t looked back since. On the same token, however, so many of those smart, savvy, remarkable people are not. Frankly, this makes me want to burst […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Nov 6

2011

It’s Okay If You Suck At This. Otherwise Called, “Permission to Suck.” Otherwise Called, “Longest Blog Post Title Ever Because Obnoxiously Long Blog Post Titles Are Funny.”

It’s okay if…you’re drowning in self-doubt. It’s okay if…you don’t know where to start. It’s okay if…you started, but want to stop. It’s okay if…you sometimes mix up your priorities. It’s okay if…you didn’t say the right thing. It’s okay if…you really fucked up the first time around. It’s okay if…you fucked up the second time […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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