The Blog

Jan 9

2020

Interview Me for The Middle Finger Project Book!

Jan 9, 2020

Oh my. I’ve just done something terrible. I mean, good terrible, but still pretty terrible. Is that a category? CAN THAT BE A CATEGORY? For the truth is that I, Ashley E. Ambirge, have just spent a lot of money—like, to the tune of fifteen-hundred baloneys a lot of money—on something I absolutely just impulsed […]

In: The Book

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Dec 27

2019

Oh, Get a F*cking Grip, Already

Dec 27, 2019

“QUIT WAITING ON being told stuff is OK. What are you, six? That said, you had more balls when you were six, didn’t you?” This is the way my smart AF British friend, Matthew Kimberley, opens a chapter in his newly released book, out just YESTERDAY: Get a F*cking Grip. (As an aside, I hate […]

In: Feeling Dead and Uninspired

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Dec 20

2019

Psst—Here’s an Original, Thoughtful, Fun-Loving Holiday Script to Send Your Clients TODAY (So It Doesn’t Look Like You Forgot!)

Dec 20, 2019

So it’s the Friday before Christmas and you’ve PROBABLY JUST REALIZED THAT YOU ARE OUT OF TIME. I know, happens so quickly, doesn’t it? I’ve got a whole list of people that I intended to send presents to, but didn’t. Because I am an excellent planner. But at least my shriveled little heart was in […]

In: Client Scripts and Templates

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Dec 12

2019

Sean Ogle is a Bitch. Wouldn’t It Be Funny If That Were the Title? It’s Not, This Post is Entirely About Me and You. WEIRD.

Dec 12, 2019

I’m going to drown the fucker in pickle juice. Yes, that’s what I’ve decided: humiliation by pickle juice. Except it won’t really be the pickle juice that does him in—it’ll be the whiskey. The whiskey that comes in a shot glass alongside the pickle juice, as any self-repecting Philadelphian knows. They call it a pickleback, […]

In: The Book

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Dec 10

2019

A Handy F*cking Checklist of Everything You Can Write Off as an Online Business Owner Before the End of the Year (LIKE UNPAID INVOICES, WHAT!)

Dec 10, 2019

So, first of all: last night was hilarious. If you didn’t see my Insta stories, go watch now before they’re gone. The short version: my favorite company on the planet, Bench, sent me a RIDICULOUSLY GIGANTIC FUN SURPRISE, and I filmed myself running out into the rain to get the box and open the whole […]

In: Bookkeeping + Accounting

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[{"code":"Omg
[{"code":"Omg
yes
yes
quit tomorrow before your brain shrivels into a sausage"
quit tomorrow before your brain shrivels into a sausage"
"label":"Fortune #1"
"label":"Fortune #1"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Don't be ridiculous
{"code":"Don't be ridiculous
you SO already know the answer "
you SO already know the answer "
"label":"Fortune #2"
"label":"Fortune #2"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"If you have to ask
{"code":"If you have to ask
the answer is yes. Now buy my f*cking book."
the answer is yes. Now buy my f*cking book."
"label":"Fortune #3"
"label":"Fortune #3"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"YES
{"code":"YES
you're not that horrible of a person that no one else will hire you if things go wrong"
you're not that horrible of a person that no one else will hire you if things go wrong"
"label":"Fortune #4"
"label":"Fortune #4"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"You're a smart f*cking human and you're wasting your potential working for some fleabag named Dirk. BYE."
{"code":"You're a smart f*cking human and you're wasting your potential working for some fleabag named Dirk. BYE."
"label":"Fortune #5"
"label":"Fortune #5"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Leave your stupid husband and *then* quit your job"
{"code":"Leave your stupid husband and *then* quit your job"
"label":"Fortune #6"
"label":"Fortune #6"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Depends on how much you like working under a guy who can't spell urethra. The Middle Finger Project book can help you figure it out though! "
{"code":"Depends on how much you like working under a guy who can't spell urethra. The Middle Finger Project book can help you figure it out though! "
"label":"Fortune #7"
"label":"Fortune #7"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Go
{"code":"Go
go
go
go! It's painful watching you completely underestimate the fuck out of yourself"
go! It's painful watching you completely underestimate the fuck out of yourself"
"label":"Fortune #8"
"label":"Fortune #8"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"Yes and tell your family who doesn't understand jack sh*t to go barbeque some weiners and come talk to you once you're a bazillionaire"
{"code":"Yes and tell your family who doesn't understand jack sh*t to go barbeque some weiners and come talk to you once you're a bazillionaire"
"label":"Fortune #9"
"label":"Fortune #9"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"YES
{"code":"YES
being responsible is overrated when it costs you the rest of your life"
being responsible is overrated when it costs you the rest of your life"
"label":"Fortune #10"
"label":"Fortune #10"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"UM
{"code":"UM
YES. thank you
YES. thank you
next"
next"
"label":"Fortune #11"
"label":"Fortune #11"
"win":true}
"win":true}
{"code":"If you don't quit
{"code":"If you don't quit
I'm going to call your boss FOR you and then how embarrassing will that be?"
I'm going to call your boss FOR you and then how embarrassing will that be?"
"label":"Fortune #12"
"label":"Fortune #12"
"win":true}]
"win":true}]